Am I being too sensitive?

by mrsjones5 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  mrsjones5

  OK, this morning I was getting ready to take my 8yo to school, he normally walks with his older brother but his feet have been hurting him lately so he asked if I could drive him then he asks me if two neighbor girls can ride with us. I said yes and after a few minutes I asked my son why they needed a ride. He said because they didn't feel like walking. I kinda didn't think anything about that until I opened my door and said good morning to the girls - I got no response. I was cool, I took them to school...didn't get a thank you for the ride either. Needless to say I will no longer give out rides to those girls.

  Josie
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  FlyingHighNow

  Did you try to engage them in regular conversation? They may just be shy around adults they don't know.
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  Kudra

  Yes they were RUDE- sometimes my friends acted this way towards my parents (when I was young) and my parents would NEVER let them get away with it. They would force them to answer, pointedly engage them in a conversation until they responded.

  One time a boy picked my sister up (for a date) and just honked the horn for her instead of coming down to the house. My dad marched up to the car and, smiling, said, "well, I'm sorry that I got up here before you were able to make it down to the house, but I know that next time that won't happen." Smile.

  The kids that were rude (non-responsive) to my parents really annoyed ME as a kid. Even though I was, like, "Moooooom!, Daaaaaddd, you are so embarrassing!", I was secretly glad that my parents put them on the spot.

  BTW, my "worldly" friends always were polite, conversational, and had a lot to say to my parents. It was the JW friends that were the duds.

  Mrs Jones-- you totally should have given those girls the business. Let them know they are accepting a kindness from an adult and they better damn well be grateful and polite.

  -K
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  Kudra

  Well, 8 year olds might be a little shy. But to not respond to a "good morning"??? A smile or a quiet "hi" would be acceptable and possible even for a shy girl. But no response? Someone is not raising them right.
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  John Doe

  If they were shy, they would not be accepting rides from strangers.
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  FlyingHighNow

  Some kids are not taught to say please and thank you. They don't intend to be rude. As adults, instead of having knee jerk reactions and writing the kids off, we can set the example in manners by being mannerly.
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  Nowman

  No, I don't think you are being too sensative. I say or think the same way with my 12 yr old Haley and my 10 yr old Dylan. They both have friends that I think are completely rude and no manners. Yet, I make it known when they are around. I expect "pleases" and "thank yous". I am not here to be everyone's friend.

  So far, they both have managed to weed out the kids that act like this. But, I am not with them 24/7, and it could be that I am not aware of some things that go on, guess I am just saying my kids are not perfect, but they have manners! At the same time, the kids with no manners wound up being the ones with major problems at home, we just find out later. Then I wind up feeling sorry for them!

  But, manners are important, especially preparing for their adult life, you know?

  Nikki
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  FlyingHighNow

  Kids expect adults to do things like give them rides to school. Especially other kids' parents. If you want them to ask please or say thank you, just tell them you expect it and that you will gladly give them rides if they use the expected manners. You're assuming their parents taught them to say please and thank you.
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  mrsjones5

  No, these girls are not shy. I've had to actively set up boundries and restrict them from coming in my house, most times my hubby is not feeling well and the girls have come in screaming, shouting, running back and forth and slamming doors. They tend to act like mini adults and have been rude times to their parents and other adults in the fourplex (oddly enough not to me). The older one has the attitude of being able to get around any adult she wants to, she just hasn't figured out how to get around me yet.

  Josie

  We will have a discussion this afternoon.
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  AK - Jeff

  Maybe a little sensitive. But you are right to expect normal courteous greeting in most cases.

  Girls are less assertive in that regard I think - I have an 8 and 10 year old grandmunchkin that we raise [both girls]. There are times when they won't even speak to me - they are moodier than the boy. Some of it is genetic - I see their mother in them all when the mood-clouds move in.

  I wouldn't think too much of the incident. But would work to educated them in the matter a bit when they come around - much as Nowman has done. I tell the neighborhood kids that they have certain amount of responsibilty to act as we expect on our property - and they learn pretty quickly that I mean it.

  But I do think that kids in general do not have the respect that we learned as children.

  Jeff