Am I being too sensitive? (page 3)

snowbird

No, you're not being too sensitive.

I wish there were more people like you!

Good job.

Lately, I have to get on to my oldest g'son (15) about pulling up his pants.

I tell him I saw enough of his black bummy when I had to diaper it!

Sylvia

Elsewhere

> They would force them to answer, pointedly engage them in a conversation until they responded.

I have to completely disagree. There is no way for one to know what is happening with someone else or what is on their mind.

In treating people like that, all that will be accomplished is the creation of hatred for you. From their perspective you attacked them while they were being peaceful and leaving everyone alone. They were causing no harm to anyone.

Pushing and prodding people into responding to you is what is rude and intrusive. No one is obligated to interact with or respond to another person.

Some people are just quiet and enjoy a calm moment uninterrupted. Prodding them into a response so as to fulfill your social needs is rude, selfish and intrusive.

The fact they did not say anything upon entry is just kids not knowing social graces. You cannot condemn them for that.

FlyingHighNow

I am a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child. Children can have many mentors in their lives. I invited my friend Katie's daughters over and showed them how to make doll clothes. We stopped and got an icee on the way here. We also strung some necklaces for the dolls. The girls were 7 and 9. My friend Katie has boys and says she is not krafty. We all enjoyed it and the girls are always happyt to see me and bring up the fun afternoon. I think kids need attention from adults, good positive attention. Otherwise they get the idea we adults are their enemies, which spells a lot of confusion and trouble when they hit their teens.

I took a positive parenting class a few months ago. It was pointed out that 3 of 5 children are defiant. So the more docile kids are not the norm. My therapist says that it's the job of kids to push against adults and it the job of adults to give them something to push against.

BabaYaga

FlyingHigh said: My therapist says that it's the job of kids to push against adults and it the job of adults to give them something to push against.

I'm going to remember this one, FlyingHigh! Nicely phrased, and so true.

mrsjones5

"The fact they did not say anything upon entry is just kids not knowing social graces. You cannot condemn them for that."

This is how I was raised: Upon entering someone's house it is always polite to greet the owners of the house. No greeting is being rude and disrespectful (and yeah as a child I did enter relatives homes and had the nerve not to great them - boy did my ears burn...for a couple of days) . I expect anyone entering my house or van to do the same - greet me. I'll overlook a child that has not been taught manners once or twice but I reserve the right to deny them access to my house or any other property because in my vast experience of raising four children and interacting with their friends from the neighorhood once you start to overlook small disrespects expect more.

Josie

P.S. I'm not a mean person. I'm not rude or disrespectful towards children (yeah kids actually deserve respect...something my parents never showed me, then or now). I actually miss my job as a lunchroom monitor...I miss those kids. But I'm not a pushover.

FlyingHighNow

FlyingHigh said: My therapist says that it's the job of kids to push against adults and it the job of adults to give them something to push against.

I'm going to remember this one, FlyingHigh! Nicely phrased, and so true.

I meant to say that it's the job of adults to give kids something stable for kids to push against. Josie, you are fortunate that you were taught manners. Todays kids often aren't taught manners because their young parents weren't taught manners. You're a wonderful person with the best, warm and soulful personality. You could probably be just what those little girls need. Think Claire Huxtable. I love how she handled kids and her husband. Andy just tilts his head to the side and gives what we call the "Andy Look." He raises his eyebrows and gives a penetrating look that says, "Okay, I got your number. You're not getting anything past me." Once you tell the girls what you want from them, then you can give them the "Josie Look." And sometimes you add a bit of throat clearing to the Josie Look. It's a way to be emphatic in a very effective style.

mrsjones5

Thank you FHN, I'll take what you say to heart.

Josie

IMHO

As far as I'm concerned there is no such thing as "too sensitive". There are different degrees of sensitivity, it's not for anyone to say that we are not too much this or not enough that, we are all different and should be accepted as such.

FlyingHighNow

Josie, in your little avatar picture, you kind of look like Claire. Those little girls are lucky that you moved into their neighborhood. I'm sorry I never got to meet you before you moved across the country.

Finally-Free

Pushing and prodding people into responding to you is what is rude and intrusive. No one is obligated to interact with or respond to another person.

I agree, but only to a point. I don't like being intruded upon either. But when in someone else's home, vehicle, or asking a favour a little respect is required. If someone is in my home or truck, they better understand that I make the rules. They have the choice of either obeying or getting the hell out. I won't tolerate people who come to me with expectations but otherwise refuse to acknowledge me.

W

Am I being too sensitive?

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