I hate the CO

by superman 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Some times the elderette will take matters into their own hands. When I was kicked out at 17, and I will admit close to 18, my father had nothing to do with it. (An elder at the time for many years)He was on his way out, although I didn't know it at the time.

    My die hard mother was feeling pretty desperate, 3rd generation, all family in, brothers sent to prison, served in Bethal, part of the anointed, blah, blah, blah, and blah.

    Her kids were embarassing her to no end. Sons already hell riders and wild with cars and motorcycles, but her oldest child her daughter, was going to tow the line or nothing.

    When these older JW's have a long family history....it can get pretty ugly for the kids.

    Funny, out of 23 cousins, I think 3 are still in. The children of these cousins...not a one that I know of.

    r.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Funny, out of 23 cousins, I think 3 are still in. The children of these cousins...not a one that I know of.

    Best news I've heard all day.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Ynot....suggested filling out the FASFA.....It is long and complicated but worth it! Do not go through advertisers who offer to do it for you. Your patience will pay off! Please take advantage of it.

    Good luck to all those who apply, if anyone needs help, please post your questions, I can help you.

    r.

  • sammielee24
    sammielee24
    How could being an elder be more important than your own children's welfare? And besides, if you really believe the WT doctrine and practices, then you realize that throwing your kids or relatives out for no good reason might make them NEVER want to study with the JWs, much less be baptized.

    It's a mindset. While you are an Elder it is your responsibility to make sure that your kids are raised to be excellent JW's and if they get baptized that is a sign that you have done your job. It isn't a choice of being an Elder and your kids welfare...your kids welfare is tied up in the society, you want them to do well and serve Jehovah so the two are linked. If as an Elder, I hadn't done my job and my kids weren't baptized, I would have faced deletion in order to spend the time necessary making sure that they did get baptized. I would have felt that I had failed as both a father and an Elder if the kids had put anything other than the WTS before them - which is what remaining unbaptized would have represented.

    Being out of course the thinking is different, but to an Elder who takes his job seriously and places his faith before all else, the salvation of your child is linked directly to the society and it isn't a matter of saying the position is worth more than the child.

  • mindmelda
    mindmelda

    Slight correction...Children are a "liability" and worthless UNLESS you assimilate them into the Borg.

    Then, they become worker drones and parent Borgs get a big gold star for adding to the hive.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Hey Superman,

    More of the COs are becoming hate-worthy hard-liners. I think their schooling at Patterson reinforced the attitude that they were far superior to the ordinary sheeples. In the pharisaical tradition, they would rather be feared than respected, they are "overseers" not "servants".

    Here's a quote regarding elders with unbaptized kids:

    *** w90 9/1 p. 25 par. 7 Are You Qualified to Serve? *** 7 Presiding over his household in a fine manner, with children in subjection. (1 Timothy 3:4, 5, 12; Titus 1:6) Some may feel that elders must be at least 30 years old, but the Bible does not set a minimum age. Yet, the person must act as an older man in a spiritual sense. Ministerial servants and elders should be old enough to have children. If married, a man does not qualify if he acts in a godly way elsewhere but is a tyrant at home. He must have earned respect for presiding over his household according to Bible principles, and his objective should be to have spiritual success with every family member. As a general rule, an elder who is a father should have well-behaved minor children who are "believing." Either they are progressing toward dedication to God or they are already baptized as Jehovah’s Witnesses. A man unable to build faith in his children is unlikely to do so in others.

    It is left for the CO to interpret this Watchtower rule and the methods they will use. A soft CO will mention it to the father and encourage him to take steps to be sure the kid doesn't get destroyed by Hojovah for not getting dunked. He won't bring down the hammer to remove the elder unless the kid is involved in wrongdoing. However, the hardline CO will step right in with the ultra-orthodox interpretation that the child must be baptized by 18 or daddy will be removed. Either way, it is expected that the kid will buckle and get dunked so that the family will be "exemplary".

    IMO, the hardline approach can be effective for the CO in the short-term. Fear can be a strong motivator, getting the humble locals to toe the line. But over time, things start coming unglued because fear is NOT a good motivator. But the COs don't care about "over time", they just want to see immediate results with good numbers and clever wording on their reports to the branch. They're only in that circuit for a few years and then they're off to start scaring a new circuit. As mentioned already, this situation with the elder can backfire since the kid may bolt for the door and move out. Or, as I've seen, the brother does get removed... and a short time later he finds that he is relieved to be free of the constant stress and doesn't wish to be reappointed.

    And since you're superman and can see through walls and everything, you probably also realize that your dad may be removed anyway, even if your sister moves out of their house. If the COs a real hardliner, he'll inform pop that he's not exemplary since more than one of his kids have left da troof.

    Can't you just feel the Christian love there?

    B the X

  • happpyexjw
    happpyexjw

    I had a similar experience regarding my oldest daughter back in the early 80s. She went through a wild time in her teens and despite our best efforts got into smoking and partying. She was disfellowshipped at age 15. We had a cong. book study at our home and one day two elders (one was my brother-in-law) came to visit to inform us that some in the book study group were offended because we still had a photo of her on display in our home. I regret to say that we put her picture in the back part of the house. Now I wish I had told them to go straight to hell.

    Since then the brother-in-law's own son has married, divorced, moved in with his uncle (his father's brother), starting messing with the uncle's wife and ended up marrying her and running off. Meanwhile, my daughter got her life back on track, had two great kids of her own and a great career, nice hubby, nice home. I wonder if he ever thinks back to what a p@#ck he and the other guy were when they came to see us that day.

    These guys have no mercy.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Superman,

    Have you already heard about the District Crapvention Drama this year? It's a modern day prodigal son mockery... But you've already heard about it with your superman super-hearing, right?

    I just wondered if there will be any fallout with your sister and your parents' emotionalizing over that nonsense.

    B the X

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    I've seen elders step down for this very reason! Even if they had a disfellowshipped child living at home (an adult) who was moving toward reinstatement. He had to choose. It's a sad fact.

    Billy the ex quotes the principle they use. If he can't preside over his own household, he's not setting a good example for the flock. End of story.

  • Scott77
    Scott77

    Billy the Ex-Bethelite,

    Your comments were informative and insightful as are from others on this thread. Some contributors have spoken from personal experiences which adds a powerful touch to the richness of the first person account. Hmm.., I have some related questions worthy of poundering. The US has lost about 8 million jobs due to recent economic downturn. Finding themselves either fired or laid off, many are unable to meet the bills. Since the bible commands husbands to provide for the family, will the Elder hubby be forced to leave the elder post for that reason? How about single JW males planning to get married but are unable to find a decent job, will they be bared from getting married until they find a job? Is this really reasonable in light of the dire economic situation around the world? If the WTS itself has been caught off guard with this grave economic slowdown that has inevitably affected membership donations from the ranks and files, leading to the 'kick out of bethelites to the curb', how are we going to intepreter that?

    Scott77

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