Sending Out a Letter to My JW Daughter - Give Me Your Thoughts Please

by flipper 82 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    LUKEWARM- Thanks for the kind thoughts on my daughter.

    RENIAA- Have you ever " lost " a daughter or son who will not talk to you for a year and a half ??? If not, then you obviously don't know how I feel. It's not as easy as you are describing it. My daughter will see these words as my own because I'm a loving father who always told her that I loved her ! I think I explained in pretty elaborate details why I will not address " Witness issues " and from the posts I've seen here about 97 to 98% of the posters agree ! My daughter is a sensitive, caring person who will respond to NON-CONFRONTATIONAL authentic love. There is no point in stirring up her " JW cult " thinking and making her angry.

    I have never painted cult members as " brainless " on this board. Being in a cult has NOTHING to do with how intelligent you are. Many bright people are in mind control cults. It involves being disgonestly deceived by the leaders of the WT society that you are going to live in an imaginary paradise- then staking your life to that claim - because if you don't you will be ostracized and shunned by the witness cult. So, no- you DON"T have a choice , if you want to be accepted by them. Nobody here has an agenda to shake your faith in Jehovah- just trying to show you that the WT society and Jehovah's Witnesses do NOT represent Him ! No cult that covers over child abuse could represent the God of heavens- if you believe in a God.

    In regards to you saying I said , " I constantly had a go at the witnesses " to my daughter- that is a lie and just not true. I talked to her that one time just a little about life and she got very tense telling me how" bad of sinners we all are and how we don't deserve to live ! " You call that a HEALTHY BELIEF ? Ridiculous. I don't need to apologize for anything to her. I've said nothing wrong. I will continue to reach out to her in real love without talking about the JW cult or their beliefs until I've re-established close respect and rapport with her emotionally. Only then will it be the right time

  • Vinny
    Vinny

    Flipper,

    I did not realize your parents are still JW's and that maintaining a definite JW fade is vital to keeping that relationship intact. It would have helped if you'd have somewhere mentioned that here. Because when asking for advice and suggestions it sure would have made a difference.

    Folks, this is why so many people become outraged at the JW religion. And anybody with a remote amount of intelligence can understand why.

    After being raised as a JW, spending almost all of his life as a loyal JW (as well as ministerial servant for many years), Flipper comes to his own reasonable conclusion that the Watchtower Society is not what it tells its followers it is, and what he believed it was for his entire life of 44 years. (Only true faith, God's channel and mouthpiece etc).

    Flipper then fades (rather than formally disassociate) because he wants to be able to speak to his family including parents and children. (Sounds like a pretty good reason to me).

    Now, because flipper needs to FADE here (in hopes of having ANY relationship with his parents and own children), this means that Flipper cannot tell anybody exactly why he no longer goes to the meetings and why he thinks the JW claims are bogus bologna salami.

    If he tells anybody anything specific, then all one single person has to do is get wind of it (like ex-wife) to take it to the elders and then Mr Flipper will get called into a judicial meeting and interrogated directly by three, 'put the organization first', elders. If Mr Flipper does not go at all, then they can disfellowship him anyway and he definitely loses relationship with parents, relatives and own children. (Not a very good idea to skip this meeting).

    If Flipper goes to the judicial meeting (as he better) and during his interrogation if Mr Flipper says he disagrees with ANYTHING WT world teaches, or that he no longer believes they are God's organization, then Mr Flipper will heavily counseled to readjust his thinking and viewpoints to be 100 percent in line with what latest Watchtower teaches. If he does not comply with this counsel then MR Flipper will be disfellowshipped and OUT.

    He will then lose all those relationships he is trying to keep alive now.

    Now, MR Flipper's sweet (but indoctrinated) daughter wants to 'encourage' her dad to go back to the JW religion. She has shunned him for 15 months already (in her attempts to 'encourage' him back) because he ever so slightly shared something with her that did not put WT-land in the most positive of lights. (Even though what he shared was 100 percent truthful... bad flipper!)

    So now Mr Flipper wants to figure out how to respond to his daughter's attempt to 'encourage him' back to the JW world, but he cannot say why he stopped going because that gets him in trouble. If he says nothing at all (which he is trying) then that will probably get his loving daughter ticked off by completely avoiding everything she sent in that letter.

    So basically Flipper has been handcuffed and held hostage by the wonderful JW religion that claims it's the only truth on earth today. And then throws in that all other religions and people of those religions are false and doomed to destruction any time now.

    His wonderful daughter is trying the good ole (and loving) emotional blackmail approach (just like our stepson is doing to us) top get him back to Watchtower world.

    "Yep, if you want any relationship with me at all, then you must go to the meetings first". ( How sweet of them).

    So, in a nutshell, flipper cannot tell anybody why he stopped going because he loses everybody.

    Flipper has not said anything at all (yet) and has already lost almost everybody he knows including own daughter just cause he stopped going.

    Flipper wants to tell his daughter some things that might open her eyes, but then he loses everybody again.

    Flipper wants to ignore his daughter's letter but that probably means more of the same as the past 15 months, no contact at all and total shunning and emotional blackmail.

    Poor Mr Flipper.

    And now you know why some folks just don't think too highly of the JW religion.

    Hi Reniaa! Hope you are taking notes.

    I was with a couple of tourists on a photo tour last month when they asked me about religion. When I told them I used to be a JW, their immediate response was, "Oh no, that religion breaks up families".

    I think they're onto something.

    Sorry Flipper. There is really nothing you can do under these circumstances but just be nice. And that will not be enough either.

    Vinny

  • Vinny
    Vinny

    Lukewarm writes: "can you post the letter your wrote to your step daughter or provide a link if its posted somewhere."

    ***** I basically used a very caring and nice personal letter along with the information from this thread I posted a couple of years ago.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/129368/1/For-Current-JWs-Watchtower-Society-Examined

    Today she is 22, lives in Seattle, and is very happy being completely free and out.

    Take care,

    Vinny

  • cawshun
    cawshun

    flipper,

    Love has to win out....my heart goes out to your family with the struggle the cult is putting you though.

    I really like your letter and I think it was a good idea to send it.

    Best wishes

    cawshun

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    I am always impressed with your comments here, Flipper. You always have a positive, upbuilding spirit. You, also, respond and acknowledge others comments so you encourage comraderie. Your wisdom with your JW daughter is impressive, in not being critical toward her, not trying to change her, keeping your subjects real, hiking and shared experiences, etc. So many best wishes!

  • flipper
    flipper

    VINNY- Thanks for understanding the totality of my situation here. It is convoluted and complex - thus the need for caution indeed.

    CAWSHUN- Family love and unconditional love is always stronger than conditional cult love - in the long term. Steve Hassan mentions that in time the cult fails to deliver on the promises to it's members - yet family always remains. That's what I intend to do. Thanks for your kind words.

    GAYLE- Thanks, I appreciate it. I'm just trying to reach my daughter based on family love - that's it. And shared common experiences

  • isaacaustin
    isaacaustin

    Reniaa said:

    The fact is on here people like to paint witnesses as brainless cult members but we are not . You may no longer believe what we do and completely think our beliefs are wrong and hate them but we are still intelligent humans that know the choice we have made and the problems that arise from it, especially living among people who believe things completely differently and having to avoid the influence of former members whose agenda is to shake our faith in Jehovah. The threat of loss of faith is a scary thing because it takes away our hope.

    My reply: Witnesses can be intelligent people and do have a real, authentic personality BUT they are mind-controlled. And this cultic mind control makes them unable to act according tho what they know is right. So, no they are not brainless but they are mind-controlled.

  • isaacaustin
    isaacaustin

    Mr flipper...I think your letter is great and definitely reflect genuineness and love. I think that (given how you have described her) it will stay in her mind even if she does not immediately reply.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Vinny,

    thanks for your link.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/129368/1/For-Current-JWs-Watchtower-Society-Examined

    It made for many minutes of gut-wrenching reading that I wish I had done some of over thirty years ago....

    I wish Renaii could read it and make a comment on it.......I'd be interested to hear her views......

  • Vinny
    Vinny

    Quandry writes: ... "I wish Renaii could read it and make a comment on it.......I'd be interested to hear her views"......

    **** I have followed Reniaa around for over a year now. Is like trying to catch one fast waskally wabbit. She just runs away again and again. She knows she's been SPANKED and will continue to be SPANKED every time she tries to pull, "the JW's are the only truth on earth", nonsense on us.

    Nobody can defend this stuff. Here take a LOOK: http://www1.tip.nl/~t661020/wtcitaten/part2.htm

    I've SPANKED AND TROUNCED every single JW that even tried for over three years now. Including sorry Thirdwitness too many times to count on Topix.

    http://www.topix.net/forum/religion/jehovahs-witness/T4AFA77RE1HQ0CSHN/p4

    http://www.topix.net/forum/religion/jehovahs-witness/T80LLVMGHQ7AG5NQ6

    NO JW can defend all those sad sorry embarrassments throughout the WT Society entire existence.

    But I like Reniaa. And I think she is legit. She is also very conflicted. I've seen her waffling back and forth for some time.

    Reniaa's posting here on JWN is one of the best things going today in helping ex-JW's to remember why they left.

    And I sure hope she sticks around.

    All the best!

    Vinny

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