Hi Jeff
For example, I stated that in general, most leave because of some bad experience that happened to them as a catalyst. Up to this point, most who have responded have stated that it was indeed research on their own that started their exit. Hardly corroboration if I were looking to prove a point.
My catalyst was a bad experience, well several to be exact. The first was one of my sons leaving the witnesses after being reproved for smoking. He was 17 and not baptized so avoided being disfellowshipped but nonetheless it cut me up deeply. Then a year later my eldest son who was baptized was discovered to be having an gay relationship. As JW parents, to say we were devastated would be putting it mildly. My son was first reproved but when he couldn't stand the control any longer, he left. However the elders couldn't leave it there and tried every way possible to get in contact with him. Finally they caught up with him and asked him that loaded question, "do you still want to be one of Jehovahs Witnesses?" Of course the answer was no and he was then disassociated.
After all this stress and drama in our lives and watching my parents now shun their grandchild, my husband had had enough. He announced one sunday morning that he doesn't believe all this Witness crap anymore and he's not doing it. He refused to attend another meeting from then on (and he hasn't)
So now it was only me and the 2 youngest boys at the meetings. My 3rd son then said that he doesn't want to come to the meetings anymore but wanted to stay home with his dad, he was 14. Finally it was just me and the youngest still going but he hated it. The battles I had trying to keep the younger coming with me was exhausting that in the end it was easier to leave him at home with his dad too.
So I was on my own at the meetings. At one time all 6 of us were there as a family but now it was just me and I felt a TOTAL FAILURE. I cannot describe the depths of my misery at this time. I felt as if I'd lost every one of my precious sons and my husband to Satan and they weren't gonna make it through armageddon.
But I was hopeful!! After all, I still had God's Organization and thats the place to be for comfort and encouragement - right?
Then I went to the Sunday meeting and read this in the Watchtower;
"Mother watched our association very closely," recalls the eldest of three boys in one family in which the mother has been a full-time minister over the years. "We did not associate with our schoolmates but only with those in the congregation who had good spiritual habits. She also regularly invited those in full-time service—missionaries, traveling overseers, Bethelites, and pioneers—to our home for association. Listening to their experiences and seeing their joy helped to implant in our hearts the desire for full-time service." What a joy to see today all three sons in the full-time ministry—one serving at Bethel, one having attended the Ministerial Training School, and one pioneering!
Oct 1st 05 WT pg 30 par 16
This was the infamous "education" watchtower but I remember it for very different reasons.
The Watchtower conductor that day highlighted the fact that there was no mention of a husband in this paragraph and that it was the mothers fine example and diligent work that had yielded such fine results.
Now having lost all 4 of my sons and my hubby to the "world" despite being just as diligent as this mother, it felt like Jehovah, instead of giving me comfort, was rubber stamping my forehead with a big fat FAILED.
I literally couldn't stomach another moment in that hall and had to leave. I barely made it back to my car before breaking down. Later on that week I took every paracetamol in the house I could find just to numb the pain I felt. Not only did I feel a failure but Jehovah, through His Organization had told me I'd failed too. What was the point of living any longer? We were all going to die at armageddon now, and I'd worked SO hard to bring up my kids in the truth! I'd been really conscientious and I was just so tired!
After being hospitalised for a while, I came home but I was never the same. The sense of failure was so acute that I couldn't shake it off no matter how much field service I did or how many meetings I went to. In the back of my mind I just couldn't understand where I'd gone wrong with my family. I'd done everything that the Society had advised on the subject of bringing up kids in the truth yet still it hadn't worked. Why?? Surely they spoke for God didn't they? God's word never fails, so how come it had all gone horribly wrong? Was it really all my fault? Or did they really speak for God? Perhaps they dont!!!
For the first time I began to join the dots.....Of course such thoughts couldn't be tolerated for long so I decided to give myself a spiritual boost. I decided to go back to the wonderful truths of 1919 when Jesus chose them as his channel. I felt sure they must have been teaching some very special truths back then to be chosen by Christ and I wanted to be strengthened by learning about them - right?
Oh my, oh lordy lordy me!
Wel the rest as they say..is history.
A short time later I disassociated. Now I can happily say we are a united family again and I'm a mum who has learned to love her children unconditionally without encumbant rules imposed upon her from an ignorant man made organization claiming to speak for God. These people caused me and my family untold misery and nearly cost me my life. I will not forget in a hurry.