I can't take this pain anymore...my life at dead end

by JustHuman14 71 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Gayle

  You don't sound arrogant, you sound beat down. You do sound like you could use the help of a counselor. Would your wife be willing to go to marriage counselor? Hopefully there is a way to negotiate.

  You need to take care of your health. I hope you can develop a healthy interest or two for yourself. Hopefully, you can maintain a relationship with your children, although you said one was married so does that one talk with you? Please try to hold on, build up for yourself. Don't let that horrible JW world beat you down. Try to find a friend or two, on line here and hopefully locally. Take a class of interest. Be healthy!
• 

  Gayle

  You don't sound arrogant, you sound beat down. You do sound like you could use the help of a counselor. Would your wife be willing to go to marriage counselor? Hopefully there is a way to negotiate.

  You need to take care of your health. I hope you can develop a healthy interest or two for yourself. Hopefully, you can maintain a relationship with your children, although you said one was married so does that one talk with you? Please try to hold on, build up for yourself. Don't let that horrible JW world beat you down. Try to find a friend or two, on line here and hopefully locally. Take a class of interest. Be healthy!
• 

  sspo

  I feel for you.... i went thru the same thing and my marriage ended after 26 years.

  She left due to my apostasy but in my case i'm so much happier in not coping with the abuse.

  My kids are grown and out of the house so that was one problem out of the way.

  There is no right answer here of what to do with your situation, some have faked reinstatement for the sake of the family others have just walked away

  from it all. Try to take care of yourself and get some help if you feel you need it.
• 

  snowbird

  (((((((JustHuman)))))))

  Sylvia
• 

  awildflower

  This is so heartbreaking. And to think that your wife or the 'brothers' could read this very thing and not feel a thing over it! They are void of all emotion. I don't even know what to say except I to felt like I was living in a 'trapped' life. I had to get some therapy and I've read a couple of really, really good books to cope with a situation like this. Books and therapy that helped me to see that you don't have to feel trapped even though you are in that situation. You can control your thoughts and feelings on this while the action you need to take is making it's way to you. Even though my physical arrangement hasn't changed, yet, my thoughts about it and my life have, which makes it tolerable for the time being. I'm so sorry for your situation. You are in my prayers as well...........wf
• 

  Lady Lee

  You said you moved back in for the sake of the kids.

  Living in a family where there is no love, no caring, a lot of anger and division is not doing anything good for your children. It isn't. It is harmful because they are growing up in a war zone.

  Get out. if you really want to help your kids get out and find a way to deal with the depression (see a doctor, get meds, get counseling) and go live a better life. Seeing you happy is the best thing for them. Seeing you living without anger and stress is far better for them than living caught in the middle.

  Only you can change your life. Your wife certainly won't change. In fact the situation may make her even more fanatical in sticking with the JWs and the WTS.

  Lee
• 

  The-Borg

  I had a similar situation when I came out,, but I mentally prepared myself for what might happen.

  There are always choices, being asked to leave your own home is just a bridge too far in my book.

  Hope you can find the strength and courage to do what you need to do.

  Lots of love to you.
• 

  looloo

  i am so sorry that you are going through such an awful time , i think you should leave and try to get shared custody of the kids and one day you may be able to convince them the religion is so cruel , i wouldnt normally suggest such a thing but your marriage will not work while the watchtower comes first , thinking of you x
• 

  Cadellin

  JustHuman: You've got some good advice here--first, get professional help for the depression. Lifting the clouds even a bit will help you think more clearly. If you can find a good marriage counseller AND your wife will agree to go, that might be the next thing. Even going by yourself might help. You have a right to be happy, to make a happy life for yourself AND your kids have the right to see you do that and to be part of it. Just some thoughts--Please take care...
• 

  leftbelow

  Man I am sorry has happened.

  It took me 3 full years to help my wife see the light. And in a ironic turn it was her who saved me in my darkest hour. But time really does have a way of healing wounds.

  Please hang in there many of us have been where you are and come through the other side a little bit brused and battered but alive and free.

  Thought and Prayer to you.