Hi Justhuman,
I won't get into my story for safety reasons however I can very much relate to your story from the view point of your kids. My dad left and my mom was a very devoted to the JW's. It was hard on us kids but my mom slowly came around, I never ever thought she would leave, she couldn't be told anything. Once my dad left I saw it was okay to leave as well and I followed in my dad's foot steps. Now my whole family is out except for my sister, we are still struggling with that but we have an understanding. I know it seems like there is no way out but I assure you there is. A wise man told me " To live well is the best revenge". Show your wife that you can have a normal life without the organization, that combined with baby steps, like the book Crisis of Concience by Ray Franz is how my dad got through to my mom.
Unfortunately sometimes it means loosing contact with loved ones, it's a hard thing to experience but honestly everything happens for a reason. Be thankful you got out sooner rather then later. You will be ok!!
Never retract, never explain, never apologize; get things done and let them howl.
Sarah :)