Some help please- advice

leftbelow

I have a problem. I knew this would come up but what has me questioning myself is where some of my resistance is coming from.

My wife and I have a baby on the way in Nov. (a little girl) anyway my mom immediately started applying pressure to me to go back to meeting and of course to attend the convention. That is not the surprise. What is bothering me is both my wife and her mother (not a witness) feel I should just go to the convention to appease my mom to "keep the peace".

So I am working today and tomorrow (so I will be monitoring this thread) and the question I would like your opinion on is this

Should I go Sat. to the convention just to keep my mom happy and get her off my back?

Feel free to just give a yes or no answer And for those of you who would like to, say more if you would like, but I would really like to know if I am beings unreasonable in my refusal to attend.

Thanks

The-Borg

Nip it in the bud NOW. Stand your ground and don't doubt yourself and your convictions.

This is a dangerous cult and should be handled as such. Read Steve Hassans book on Cults - JW's are in there.

If adults can be duped and deceived by them how much more so your children - avoid at all costs.

Do you really want your litlle girl mixed up with these people?, they don't give a shit about your daughter - think about the awake magazine with all the dead kids on the front.

I will never let my daughter go to a kingdom hall.

The-Borg

ps .. don't go to the assembly

doofdaddy

Concentrate on being a father... repeat, concentrate on being a father

Scully

You know that "keeping the peace" has nothing to do with what's going on here.

Your mother wants you to become an active JW again. If you start by going to the convention for one day, then it's going to turn into "why can't you come for two days, you have the whole weekend off, don't you?" - you know that's where it's headed.

When you go to the occasional (now 30 minutes) Public Talk™ on a Sunday, she's going to bug you to stay for the whole meeting. If she can get you to do that, it will turn into "you should make an effort to come every week". If you start going every week, it will turn into going to the Book Study™... then the Ministry School™ and Service Meeting™... then going out in Service™. She won't be satisfied with token attendance, and you know it.

If she hasn't bothered you about returning to the meetings up until you and your wife learned that you have a baby on the way, you know that she has an ulterior motive: She wants to be able to see her granddaughter, without having a JW induced guilty conscience. That's not your problem to fix, it's hers. If she wants to see your family, but feels twinges of conscience because you aren't going to meetings, that's on HER, not you.

Why should her unreasonable expectations for you to return to the JWs have any merit? You already know what is involved.

Do you and your wife really want your daughter exposed to JW beliefs anyway?

Do you want your mother to indoctrinate your daughter behind your back, and teach her that you are wicked and evil for not being JWs?

undercover

This is not a simple "yes" or "no" answer that we, who do not know your family, can answer. There are too many variables to the situation to give a simple answer.

I can see where going could appease the immediate situation. I could also see it backfiring.

Sometimes we have to give a little to keep peace. Going to a special meeting, convention program or memorial once in a blue moon may keep the wolves at bay. It gives them a smidgen of hope but it keeps them quiet...for a while.

OTOH, if you were to agree to go to one day of the convention at her behest, it may only encourage her to continue to press you to come back to more meetings, to become active again. She could be using the arrival of a new life in the family to guilt you into doing what is right (in her eyes). Give in this one time and it may only get worse as she expects more and more.

Only you know how individuals in your family think, act and react to certain situations. Only you can determine what will work best for you...

In my situation, if my mom suddenly started applying pressure to go to the convention, I know that my giving in would only encourage her to put even more pressure on me afterwards. In my case, I would not go. By not going it sends the message that that person does not rule me or can dictate to me what I should be doing.

Whatever you decide, good luck... it's tough when family starts applying pressure when your content to let sleeping dogs lie.

oompa

HELL NO!......you can not MAKE your mom happy......one dc will keep her happy for how long?????????????hmmmm.......then what will you do to MAKE her happy?????????she is responsible for her own happiness as are we all...................so again.........HELL NO!!......life is to short.........oomps

rebel8

Your mom is the one "disturbing the peace", not you. It's not yours to solve.

leftbelow

Thank you guys for that. I thought I was maybe being unreasonable in standing my ground.

And just to clarify I am glad people chose to give more then a yes or no answer. I mostly put that in because sometimes thats all I can come up with to a question and I wanted to let people know that if all they wanted to say was a yes or no that was fine also.

My wife is giving in. She got a hotel and I don't want her to drive up there alone (in her condition) so I may have to drive her but I am going to stand my ground. I guess I will hang out in the hotel. Or maybe I will spend all day on JWD..lol

crapola

Don't go for anyone but yourself. I had the same problem and went many times for my mother. Finally I stopped. It caused problems for a while and now she seems to accept it. At least she has stopped going on about it all the time. You have to make a stand at some point. It's your life after all.

Some help please- advice

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