by leftbelow 38 Replies latest jw friends
In a kind manner thank your mom and tell her firmly but gently that you will NOT be attending because you have to buy
thinigs at the Pottery Barn Baby Department to prepare for your new baby girl.
Ask her to go with you and she can help select the baby items.
One of her buddies can just record the audio of the lectures for her.
Of the always- prefer -shopping - than- going -to - meetings crowd.
PS. Congratulations to you and your wife on your baby !
Your mother has picked her path so let her be. 18 yrs from now you will have to answer to the path you presented for your daughter. Provide a free mind, with all education available, unconditional love, security, fun and reality for her. She will be so thankful. I raised 5 (2 daughters and 3 sons), free of Watchtower dominance and not much baggage (they were raised that way when small). All 5 have completed college now, none baptized JW but they know my story well and why their freedom meant so much to me.
With respect your wife and MIL have no idea what they are really asking you to do.
Unless someone has been a JW (not just attended meeting or collected their litterature at the door as a route call)
you can not fully understand their tactics, power or control methods.
I suggest that you show your wife and MIL some of the posts on this board.
Let them read for themselves the heartbreak caused by the WTBTS.
Show them the magazine praising DEAD children who refused blood.
You are the only one in your family at the moment who knows the real truth about JW's.
If you go to any meetings your risk losing everything.
Anglise
I have always subscribed to the live and let live motto. I don't even talk to my mom about the religion. But yes I will love my little girl no matter what even if , heaven forbid, she chose the witnesses. Of course she will have the freedom to chose her path. Neither my mother or myself had that choice from birth. But I am breaking the chain...
As far as my wife, she knows I am not pleased with her choice to go but likewise I am not her boss either I love her even if I disagree with her choice.
LEFTBELOW- I'm quite sure that part if not a good amount of what's motivating your mom in trying to get you to attend meetings again is to inspire you to feel a sense of " guilt " and " responsibility " towards your prospective child upcoming in birth. So it's like your mom is doing what she feels is her " preparation " work on you trying to soften you up to raise the child in a mind control cult. Don't let your mom make you feel " guilty " about anything. It's your child , not hers. You have the responsibility to protect your child from being controlled by a cult which will take your childs freedom away - and inevitably take your child from you. So respectfully decline , tell mom you appreciate her concern, but you won't be attending. As you say you might hang out at the hotel if you go with your wife, go check antique stores or book stores out while she's attending. Whatever your hobbies are. Hell- Play golf or something else you enjoy doing. Anythings more exciting than sitting at an assembly. Good luck
If you have no intention of returning to the org, I suggest DON'T go. It will just give her false hope.
And why waste a lovely Saturday?
-Aude.
No no no no NO!!! Leftbelow, your instincts are right on target here, please listen to them and heed what your gut is telling you.
I saw your other thread about you and your wife being blessed with this new baby daughter, and the troubles you'd experienced and how you feared there would never be a child. When she pops into the world, you are going to be overwhelmed with an even greater whoosh of unconditional love and the instinct to protect her at all costs. Protecting her starts now, before she even "arrives"!
You know that JWs will beg an inch for the purpose of seizing a mile. Your mother is testing the boundaries now, and the way you and your wife respond now will set the tone going forward. Save yourself and your family from an ongoing tug-of-war by slamming your foot down now! Your daughter must be protected from day one. I understand that you love your mom but you cannot allow this cult to touch your child in any way. Draw the boundaries NOW, before your baby girl arrives. If grandma knows without a doubt that it's a big NO, with no wiggle room and no "well okay maybe this once to keep the peace" etc etc, if she knows all of that full-stop from the very beginning, it will be best for everyone and you won't be fighting against "but but but just this one little thing" constantly.
I echo Carla's concerns about your MIL (and wife) thinking it's okay to "appease" grandma and "keep the peace" and pretend you're okay with the WTS to "fool" her. All of that will bite you in the ass big-time, and worse it will bite your child in the ass. MIL and wife need to wake up to what's at stake here and get on board fast. Letting this cult come into your child's life and brain "just a little bit" is not okay! Your instincts are awake and correct and spot-on -- listen to them, and don't let anyone sway you from it -- do whatever you can to create a united front against this very dangerous notion of "appeasement." Your mother's misguided wishes do not trump the well-being of your child.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, it's a bit of a sore spot for me and I'm sorry if I came on too strong. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, and I commend you for the stance you're taking. You mentioned above that you are breaking the chain -- that is the very best gift you could ever give to your child. And making sure she doesn't ever have to experience it to even know that a chain was broken, well even better.
Best wishes for you and your family, you are in my thoughts.
Thanks for the reassurance.
I really need it because I guess I still have a little work to do with the wife. She informed me that while she knows its all BS she will always go to meetings from time to time. Which lead me to restate my little girl is NOT going ever as long as it is up to me. She says she agrees but man I didn't think she was ever going back I guess I jsut need to give her some time to adjust but I am not going and that is final. Now I just have to decide how to spend my Sat.
