by leftbelow 38 Replies latest jw friends
I agree with scully - this will continue until she has you out in fs. I don't understand why people try to appease their JW family by going to a meeting or two or convention, do they ever appease you by celebrating your birthday, christmas or just leaving you the heck alone with your decisions? NO, it's a one way street with them.
Don't go and keep your precious little girl away from those cultish nuts!
nj
leftbelow... Congratulations! You're going to be a Daddy... that's awesome!
Should I go Sat. to the convention just to keep my mom happy and get her off my back?
No. This won't keep your mother happy or off your back -- it will only be the beginning of a constant nag to return to something you are not sold on. Do not set a precedence.
If someone defines their happiness by what other people do, they have personal issues that they need to address.
You and your wife need to discuss how you wish to raise your daughter. There is no need to be associated with any Church, imo. I find they all have their own man-made agendas, especially the WTS, that I cannot align with. I believe you have the same issues with them. So this is a personal choice between you and your wife.
My brother and his wife raised 3 incredible kids and they never went to Church. They taught them values, morals, and principles all on their own. To me, the teachings of Jesus Christ in the Bible are the foundation to this. I suggest that you and your wife design your own course of action when it comes to raising your daughter. As always, I recommend Stephen Covey's books. He has one for Families - "7 Habits of Highly Effective Families".
To have a full, positive, and rewarding life, we must focus on all 4 areas of human need: To Live (Physical), To Love (Emotional), To Learn (Mental) and To Leave A Legacy (Spiritual). Using True North Principles as one's foundation will lay the groundwork to accomplish wonderful things in life. Covey's "First Things First" is also excellent.
Absolutely, not....
If you go now...what happens when she next asks for your wife and soon to be born daughter to go?
Where/when do you draw the line?
One of the reasons I disassocated myself, and not simply fade or be inactive was I refused to play the game or/and expose my (future) children to the organization.
Think it through to its logical conclusion...
What will you tell your children, if/when they ask you why you kept following something you know to be wrong...To please grandma (?) Therefore, when one of your family members does something wrong (I.E. daughter) for family or someone they view like family and you later find out they did this to please another person, what do you do at that point?
Should the example shown teach your family that you do things for other people/family even if you believe and know it's wrong? I couldn't look myself in the mirror doing that.
Just my two cents...Once I found out how wrong and corrupt the organization is I refused to support it any further.
-trebor
This is not an easy situation for sure, but I will share how one of my kids handles this with her elder father. I faded first, then one by one the three girls did the same. (We have been divorced for many years) Once in a while he will invite her for a talk he is giving at the KH or a convention. She tells him that honestly, she loves to hear him speak, but she would only go to please him. She tells him she has no interest in JW anymore and she thinks it is cruel to give him false hope that she will ever return to the org. He still asks, but she is firm in telling him that she will not attend.
As others have already said, no one knows your family like you do, but it does seem more honest to simply say no and stay away. You have your own family now, with a child on the way. My advice is to focus on them and let the JW relatives figure out how to deal with their own feelings about the whole thing. Don't let them use emotional blackmail to push you into something you don't want to do.
Tell your mother if she mentions the WT one more time, she will never see her grand doughter.
Some very good advice from you all.
And one of the reason my wife and her mother think I should go this last time is I have told them (my wife and her mother) in no uncertain terms that my baby girl will not be attending any meetings. They believe (and are probably right) that will effectively end my relationship with most of my family but especially my mom.
I really appreciate everyone responding Maybe I am not such a jerk after all....lol hey Maybe I am right
sigh.....
Time to be firm but gentle. Tell you appreciate the offer but it is not a path you will be pursuing. You know it means a lot to her but as a grown man you must stand by your principles. You love her very much but you do not agree with the WTS.
or....
You can do as HappyXJW has mentioned and go but with the explicit understanding that you are only going to keep the peace. Tell her however for you to go opens the disucssion for what you honestly thought of the program.
Tell her NO! and mean it.
Sylvia
Don't egg it on. Don't go.
yknot
I did think of going with the idea of then discussing how I honestly felt about the program. But my mom has already ask my sister once if she thinks I am an apostate. So she would shut me down before I could get into any real meaningful discussion. Otherwise I would go in the hopes I could help my mom see the truth about these people.
So far it seems all the votes are for me.....yeahhhh
