Armagedon delayed so we are planning babies at 37 years old!! Advice? (page 3)

WuzLovesDubs

I was 34 with my first....40-1/2 with my third and last and I wouldnt trade it for anything. I was READY and wanted them soooo badly. They came into a home with a mom who was mentally prepared for their arrival. I loved every minute of being pregnant...ok maybe not so much those labor pains LOL!

Get a basal thermometer. Keep track of your days when you are most fertile. The older you get the harder it is, in theory, to get pregnant so be patient and remember...practice makes perfect!!

Wouldnt that be just the BEST revenge???

BabaYaga

I am very sorry to be the one who is saying this, but... wasn't your wife having a very difficult time emotionally and psychologically very recently? I'm sorry, but this does not bode well for an easy pregnancy. Hormones can give even the most stable moms-to-be a real challenge.

I presume she is doing better, and I am very happy for you both... but... have you both talked about this?

I do wish you both the best... and if you do choose to have a child... best wishes to all for a very healthy pregnancy for Mom and baby.

Love,
Baba.

Scarred for life

Yes, it is a lifelong project. But I do look forward in some ways for them to be independent and living on their own. Being financially independent is what I'm trying to say.

But for right now, we are living together harmoniously. Actually, it's much better now than when my oldest was going through her horrible adolescent years.

yknot

I am going with Baba Yaga on this one...... I worry that your wife might not be up for the task of pregnancy, postpartum and everyday stresses (diapers, crying, attention required to progress baby's development, breastfeeding, your life becoming all things baby and of course lack of sleep and pre-baby spontaneous anytime sexual relations!) that occur when you are the primary provider of an infant/small child. Child safety (physical, mental and emotional) is paramount. She needs to have a good support system too outside of you.

How is her paranoia doing? Is she still taking medication for the accident? These are very important factors to consider.

As far as age..... 43 is the new 35 as far as women's fertility goes (pre- pre-natal nutrition is paramount to reduce down-syndrome in women 35+)

I know many "worldly" couples starting kids in their 40s! Hubby (40) and I (35) are considering having 2 more in the next eight years too.

So if you really think this is a 'safe' choice for your wife, then have her start taking pre-natal vitamins 6 months prior to conception, eating extrememly healthy, water being her main beverage, and exercising properly for each stage (pre, natal and post) to keep up seratonin levels steady. Healthy bodies have higher chances of healthy babies.

If she is not 'ready', maybe spend the next year or two preparing to be ready. It will give her a goal to work toward and plenty of time to decide if it is a lifestyle she is up to maintaining.

This all said ....being a parent is very fulfilling. Children are delightful if you treat them as the delightful and wonderous individual creatures they are while maintaining firm boundaries that allow them to question but still know when to respect authority for their own benefit.

Scarred for life

I agree with all that yknot has said about the stress and emotional demands of pregnancy and being the parent of an infant and child.

Scully

I would suggest some prenatal screening for both of you to make sure you are in the best physical, emotional and mental health possible.

It isn't uncommon anymore for couples to delay having children until their mid-30s to early 40s. I'd estimate that at least 1/3 of all first time mothers that I work with fall into this category. Don't be offended if you overhear medical staff refer to your 35+ year old wife as an "elderly primip" or use the term "advanced maternal age" - they are archaic medical terms - and it takes forever to change archaic medical terminology.

On the plus side, you are likely a bit more financially stable and secure compared to a couple in their 20s and have more practice in communication skills than young couples that you can use in parenting (because I guarantee you will need them!)

On the down side, you may find that you have a harder time keeping up with active children. Make sure you and your wife keep a resolve to stay fit and healthy to pass along those behaviours to your children. It may also take a while to conceive for older couples, although that is not always the case. As WuzLovesDubs said, enjoy the practicing, because it may be a while before you get any practice after the babies arrive!

Also, with regard to your wife's emotional state, be aware that a history of depression and psychosis puts her at very high risk of both postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis. Educate yourselves about these conditions before embarking on a pregnancy, and know the warning signs of these illnesses. Get help immediately if symptoms are noticed after delivery, do not wait and see. As the husband (and father) you will probably be in the best position to identify changes in your wife's moods - someone in the midst of postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis will not recognize when they need help, they will often attribute the mood changes to sleep deprivation or feeling overwhelmed by the enormous transition from being independent women to being solely responsible for a vulnerable yet demanding infant.

cantleave

"Responsible child bearing in the time of the end" a talk given in the 1987 DC - reposonsible for many us starting families later in life. What a load of BS.

Witness 007

She is doing well over the past 6 months...things are back to normal for us. She is not on any medication. I know this could be difficult, but sooner or later we will have to have a child. She had temparary depression brought on by her back injury and stress. Although it is a concern it may return, with support I hope she will be fine....she's taken going to take 7 weeks holiday to visit family overseas, so really when she returns we will try to have a baby.

Witness 007

Also we had an un-planned pregnancy and mis-carriage about 7 years ago...she's wanted a child for the last few years.

warmasasunned

bless you, you think your old. i met a lady a few weeks ago who was 54 when i was born..... i`m 43.

go for it, you got a lot a living to do, my wife was 37 when she had our second child.

they are amazing, dont be scared of trying to be happy none of us know when the times up.

i wish you well on your journey.....enjoy it because.... where here for a good time not along time xxx

Armagedon delayed so we are planning babies at 37 years old!! Advice?

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