I have a conundrum....armchair psychologist needed! (page 3)

journey-on

Don't sell yourself out for someone else's benefit.
I totally agree with the above when it comes to WTS and JW issues, but, a long time otherwise loving marriage? (Something tells me you're not married either...lol...join 6'o9 on the left please ;)

White Dove

Farkel,

They are married. Married people tend to have a deeper sense of commitment when it comes to the tough issues. They don't tend to send each other on their ways.

I agree with the advice to sleep on it. It's like writing a novel or even a term paper. You write it then put it on the back burner to simmer for a short time. When you revisit the story, it tends to look somewhat different than it did before, and that's when you do revisions and make improvements. Writers do this several times. Ideas form in that time. Hasty decisions are almost always regretted.

journey-on

Good advice, White Dove. I do tend to want to take action once I'm certain of a matter. Although Time is of the essence here, I am going to try to stretch it a bit and sit with the issue a while longer.

treadnh2o

Choose the course that will cause the least long term damage. If you can survive "giving in" and he can't, give in.

If "giving in" will be decision that you cannot live with and will haunt you for the rest of your life, don't wreck your life for anybody.

Spike Tassel

Do something different than either you or he want. That way, it will be 2nd-best for both of you, thus more neutral, and easier for you both. Politics is often about finding a "third way".

journey-on

Politics is often about finding a "third way".
You're right, S.T. In a way, these kinds of things are like politics....and since I'm a moderate (Beksbks would most assuredly disagree about that ), perhaps a "third way" can be negotiated. I don't know how yet, but I'm going to think on it this weekend.

parakeet

Whoever's life will be the more greatly impacted (positively or negatively) should have the final say.

If the other doesn't like it, Farkel's recommendation may be the best solution.

Sounds like something huge. Hope you can work it out amicably.

cameo-d

Who has the better track record for saying "I told you so"???

Now that you have made your Ben Franklin lists.....have you gone one step further in looking at the future repercussions of the decision?

Does one solution offer a better future prognosis?

Is one solution blind as far as calculating the future backlash of the decision?

How many other people will be affected by the decision? Is this important? How much?

Are you jointly committed in whatever has caused this decision to have to be made?

Or is one an innocent bystander who has had no input in whatever caused this to come to a head?

Is this "problem" mutually shared and mutually invested in; have each contributed as much effort and involvement in cauing this decision to have to be made?

Using each solution...how far up the road can you see?

beksbks

Use whatever form of birth control he wants!!! Do not have children!!! He's right!

I have a conundrum....armchair psychologist needed!

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