An Open Letter From Jeff

by AllTimeJeff 58 Replies latest jw friends

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I've always liked your thoughts so I wanted to relate to some of these comments of yours and let you know that you are not alone.

    Since I left, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety. I hate the fact that I was born into a cult. I find that since I left I have become a bit of a loner. I used to be around people all the time, and now, I hardly do anything social.

    I hate it too. I wasn't born into the cult. I have had some depression over being duped into joining. It's different for me- I had unresolved issues that I pushed aside for "the truth." I didn't need answers if the end was coming. Now, the depression is mostly from letting the issues fester for two decades. I learned with my working to resolve the issues that I was always a loner. I was just faking it with an outgoing JW personality because it was expected of me. I revert back to the internet, television, movies, books. I try to spend more time on books- at least that's better than the others.

    I think the world of you, even if I can't join you in worship for reasons of belief and conscience.

    That sounds familiar. I don't consider everyone else out there as "duped." There was some value in their faith system. I just don't share it. I have read enough eastern philosophy (skipping the religious aspect of it) to accept that there is room for others' beliefs in my world. I don't have to be right and them wrong. We are on different roads, but all on the journey. While I doubt the existence of God, I am still on a spiritual journey, enjoying learning things WTS would forbid, enjoying the possibilities of whether there is karma, a force, destiny, morality, good and evil, etc.

    Did you know that I have a trouble with opening up and baring my real thoughts and emotions to anyone, internet or otherwise, since I left?

    It's taken me awhile to get there. I was faking it a bit when I started here, but I have learned to vent for my own sake. Still, I tend to be skeptical, distrusting before opening up to new people.

    Did you know there are moments when I wish I could have my old life back, just because of the social aspect? The friends I made?

    So many others are like that. That's again where we differ. I don't really think they ever were friends if their programming kicks in when I changed. I keep one JW friend who sees beyond that. It may not last. I will be okay. What helps, forcing an outgoing personality, I went to ex-JW meetups and made some new friends. Many are Christian or otherwise, most are like me in that they don't want religion in their life.

    But I also think that those whom JW's call "weak" were the strong ones all along. Those that left without getting neck deep in the politics and power and propaganda.....

    Also, the "weak" ones that are still in are actually closer to "normal." If they missed meetings for overtime or so the kids could get their homework done, that was more normal and sensible. But yes, their view made us look at things opposite of how we should have.

    Even though I literally can't keep up emotionally with saying hi, or always offering words of encouragment,I always read what you're going through, and I always send my best wishes (my way of praying for everyone) It keeps me going.

    I feel bad that I don't want to welcome all the newbies or give advice to many. Sometimes, I am so bitter that I don't want to scare them away. Still, I enjoy reading it.

    You are not alone, Jeff. Various people feel similar in various ways. That's why we "congregate" here.

  • Chalam
    Chalam

    Hi Jeff,

    A always like your posts and our exchanges. I felt sad reading this post but I think you are doing a none to shabby job at opening up and showing you true feelings.

    The WT leaves casualties left, right and centre. There are plenty of other ways to get messed up in this world but the WT surely take their generous slice.

    Anyhow, I feel empathy with some of your pain, even though my path in life has been different. I pray real blessings are coming your way soon.

    True to form I want to leave you with a couple of verses to dwell on, I hope you don't mind. Muse on them when you get some spare moments :)

    Isaiah 43:18-19 (New International Version)

    18 "Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.

    19 See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
    I am making a way in the desert
    and streams in the wasteland.

    John 10:10 (New International Version)

    10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

    Your friend.

    Stephen

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    OTWO, thanks for your thoughts. (I really do appreciate everyone's thoughts, even if i don't get you by name... I am doing some light work this afternoon at home.... I am not feeling too well...)

    Stephen, I appreciate always your motives, and thank you for your good wishes and scriptural thoughts.

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Hi Cadelin, sorry I forgot to respond to this...

    "Did you know I regret how I left?" Why is that? How did you leave?

    My life story is in my Topics Started somewhere..... My regrets were that I didn't have any energy to show others what I had learned. I was too tired. They had sucked a lot out of me, and I left, as an act of personal freedom and self preservation. I don't think anyone leaves with their head totally on straight. Mine sure wasn't. But, what the hell? lol

  • The-Borg
    The-Borg

    Hi Jeff,

    I read and appreciate your posts too. Remember the good times you had and forget the bad, don't be mad at yourself.

    We've all been scarred by this cult to some degree.

    Can you point me to your posts of your story and what happened to you, would like to read more.

    Warmest regards

    David.

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    Jeff,

    I enjoy your posts and thank you for sharing..

    Chin up..

    Quirky

  • AllTimeJeff
  • The-Borg
    The-Borg

    Hi Jeff,

    Wow, that is a story. How did the reconciliation with your parents go?

    Regards

    David.

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff
    How did the reconciliation with your parents go?

    I will send you a PM. I don't want the response to this to be public. :)

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Hi Jeff

    You seem to be a fine fellow. I agree with most of what you write, and respect your open [if analytical] statements here.

    I could have written most of what you said in fact. I find myself far too socially short-sided also. I can honestly state - that after my baptism in 1973, I never made a single 'wordly' friend. Those half-friends I had carried along thru my early teen years of mom's inactivity were completely dismissed. I never would have believed that I would find myself at this age lacking social connections, and indeed social skills needed to find many friends.

    In truth, I suppose I like lonership ok - I have a few friends, but not many these days. I am very close to my non-jw family now.

    Don't kick yourself too hard for accepting the 'Truth' hook, line and sinker. Fishermen use clever means to conceal the hook, and religious fishermen are some of the best.

    You give an example that not many of us here can give - that some of those so dyed in the wool so as to become Gileadites or other advanced positions inside the cult - might actually come out eventually. Some here have relatives that are so bOrg-minded that they wonder if they might ever figure it out. So, hang in there. You are a class act in my opinion.

    Jeff

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