Off the top of yer head, whats the funniest???.... (page 2)

roybatty

"Smells like someone burned a mule in there."

I don't know why but the thought of a mule on fire cracks me up.

>19 Single sisters, not having a human head to consult with and confide in, may be more apt to ‘throw their burdens upon Jehovah.’<

I nearly died when I read what my language-translating-program printed out in German....

Cygnus

Ok, Erich, give us the literal English translation back from the German.

Shimmer

Kiss Crack!

"Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug" Mary-Chapin Carpenter

ChuckD

Bart Simpson once said about someone who gave up too easily during negotiations;

"He folded faster than Superman on laundry day."

Another expression (not from Bart) regarding dealing with an unpleasent task;

"I would rather eat an entire can of Green Giant Niblets corn, wait a day, and eat it again."

Erich

Cygnus:
>Ok, Erich, give us the literal English translation back from the German.<

Okay. This is the translation in German language, printed as:

19 einzelne Schwestern, die keinen menschlichen Kopf haben, zu konsultieren und anzuvertrauen, sind vielleicht ‘geeigneter, zu werfen ihre Lasten auf Jehovah.

And this means, re-translated to English, approximately:

19 individual sisters, who have no human head with, to consult and to entrust, are more suitable to throw their loads on Jehovah.

teenyuck

"Is he porking her now?! He must have his dick dipped in steriods!"

From The Commitments

Billygoat

Living in Texas I get to hear the funniest little sayings...

When I don't feel well or am depressed:

"I feel lower than a lizard's tail."

When someone reacts quickly to something:

"She jumped on me quicker than a chicken on a June bug."

When it's cold outside:

"It's colder than a witches tit."

When it's hot outside:

"It's hotter than a well-digger's ass."

When someone's not really intelligent:

"He's about as smart as a fence-post."

When someone's not straight up:

"He's as genuine as 3 dollar bill."

I know I can think of more. I'll post those later.

Andi

Mister Biggs

"We can settle this like mature men. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy-Pants?"
-Frank Drebbin a/k/a Leslie Nielsen, Naked Gun 2 1/2

Aight!

radar

My mother would often use the expression::
"he couldn't care a kipper's eyebrow"

To this day I don't understand the association, but it always makes me smile when i think about it.

Radar

Off the top of yer head, whats the funniest???....

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