WILL I BE DISFELLOWSHIPPED?

jazz

my wife went into my email and found out i have been looking at porn and chatting with other women she went to the elders and told them i go before them on sunday. what do you think my fate will be

YoYoMama

They will give you counsel from the Bible.

ashitaka

You got caught looking at porn? Get a laptop, and a 4 port hub, and run the line into the basement or your car. That should cure that one.

You could tell the elders you were researching porn, for a talk.

Seriously, though, don't go to the meeting at all, that is, unless your wife is ready to leave you. Always take care of the wife first.

ashi

Bro: It depends on you!If you can convince them you need THEIR help and guidance you can get of with private reproof. If you act like, so what? What’s the big deal, you may face more. However, chatting with persons may not be an offence, depends on content. The porno, well I never was involved as an Elder for that offence. If they know about this site, your goose may be cooked (that may not be a bad thing, think about it).

Remember, they need two witnesses, if you dump everything and your wife did not make a copy, you could deny everything.......What do you want???

You can read the Flock Book on line for more info.........

flower

if you refuse to meet with them at all you will eventually be disfellowshiped..thats a guarantee.

i dont see any way you are going to get around at least getting reproved. and unless you go in there and say it was just some kind of weak moment and you've been riddled with guilt and will never do it again, they will probably disfellowship you. i think if you show any kind of 'what i do is my business' type attitude you are definately gone. you really cant lie because your wife will simply tell on you again if she catches you so i dont see anyway you can not get df'd.

Richie

Jazz...
When your wife discovered this, did she confront you first? She should first speak to you and if you can resolve this between her and you, that's all that is needed.
But now the situation has become worse; the elders will want to find out everything what you have done. Just tell them firstly that this matter should have been between you and your wife only and that she had no business running to them on the spur of the moment.
Afterwards you can tell the elders that you received porn by email or it sometimes happened that you receive pop-up windows while being on the internet, so it may not even be your fault - about the matter of speaking with other women on the net, you could say that you also speak to men in a chat room once in a while. I only hope that it was not cyber-sex you engaged in (in that case it would be a different ball game alltogether). In any case, the elders will counsel you and most likely will take away from you some responsibility in the congregation. Don't worry, you will not be disfellowshipped for this, but be given a warning with some scriptural advise.
But please speak to your wife and be honest about everything to her; she will understand you much more than the elders ever could!

Richie :*)

roybatty

If you're asking if this is a df'ing offense, the answer is yes. One of the last elder meetings that I attended with the CO specifically mentioned that "cyber sex" was a serious offense. Of course, the porno has always been. Then again, as other posters said, if you crying in front of the elders and tell them that it was a momentary weakness, you'll get off the hook. Want to be really bad? If you're "in" with the elders, they'll want to find someone else to blame. While still blaming yourself also tell them that you're wife hasn't been providing the "marital due." Sisters in the congregation always get the shaft.

oscartheduck

Strictly speaking, if your wife never confronted you first, it's none of the elder's business. But don't be so blunt. Tell them something calm like "I'll be more than happy to meet with you, but first I want to discuss this with my wife so that we can sort things out between us."

Your best bet is to be repentant, say sorry, hold your hands up, cry a little if you feel the need. If you're truly repentant then, theoretically, there's nothing to fear. And saying sorry is always the best course of action.

You could suggest that you're going to put up a filter for mature content on your browser, and tell yur wife whenever you're going online, so that all your access is documented and if she ever gets suspicious, she can check. That might help, because it shows a repentant "I don't want to do this again" attitude.

Of course, if you don't give a shit what happens to you...then flip them off and show 'em yer arse ;)

============================
The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126 "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible "

Amazing

Hi Jazz: Not sure how long you have been a JW, but if this is your first visit with the Elders in a JC setting, you can expect that they will be looking closely at your attitude. Are you sorry? Are you determined to never let it happen again? Have you already apologized to your wife, and promised her it will not happen again? Have you asked Jehovah for forgiveness already? Have you deleted any save porn files and web site addresses? Are you regualr at meetings and Secvice as demonstrations of your loyalty to Jehovah and his organization? These are the primary things that you can expect to talk about. It should be obvious to you how to answer those questions in order to remian a JW.

As YoYomama stated, you will be counseled. How you accept this counsel, your attitude, demeanor, and acceptance will also be important to the Elders. Any debate or argument will not be taken well. But, if your act appreciative (don't get gushy) and shed a moderate tear or two, without breaking down emotionally, this will help.

DO NOT BE SURPRISED: If the Elders ask you whether you are also visiting Apostate sites and chat forums on the Internet. This is a major concern to the Society, and any Elder is likely wanting to know about this. You must decide how to answer this ... but if you admit to visiting ex-JW forums, this will add weight to the Elders concerns about you, and make you effort to remain a JW an uphill battle. You will be probed about this extensively.

Some Advice as a Friend: I assume that being on this site that you are no longer truly a JW in your heart. So, you have to ask yourself how much you love your wife and yourself. If you want to stay married, you first concern is how she feels about you viewing porn, and how this affects her. Your marriage, and love and respect for your wife should be for more important to you than the silly religion we talk about. I assume that you are adult enough to understand how important and upsetting this can be for your wife. If you love her, then I encourage you to put her first, and the Jehovah's Witnesses second. - Amazing

ThiChi

roybatty: I forgot the “marital due” defense!! Very good!! Most Elders can relate to that! Turn it right around.........Lol

WILL I BE DISFELLOWSHIPPED?

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