Why Some People are Better Off in Cults

by Dogpatch 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    Dogpatch,

    Thanks. I needed this article to remind myself that I can't save my immediate family from their extended family. Until their extended family becomes more abusive than the fear of the "world", they are likely to remain inside.

    Skeeter

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    What cantleave said resonated with me, too, and opened my eyes a bit to my own experience. Both my wife and I joined the JWs when we were in our early 30's. Both of us came from highly dysfunctional families - a result of alcoholism, divorce, and heavy physical and emotional abuse.

    By contrast, the dub life was paradise, even with all its faults. When we married at 22, we were determined to do a better job with our lives than our parents had with theirs. When children came, were adamant that we would raise them in a better manner. Of course, we had no blueprint based on experience, so were searching for some answers. The dubs provided one that seemed to make sense at the time so, like many converts to the religion, we were seduced by the "love" we were shown. We came aboard despite intellectual misgivings just because we met some really nice people who appeared to have found the solution to all (or many) of life's problems.

    A counselor told me a few years ago that we suffered a common malady among adults who were abused as children: We had "a hole in our soul" that needed filling and the dubs came along and filled it. It could just as easily have been the Mormons or the Baptists or Little League or the Soccer community. We needed a family of our own, a place to call home, a position in society, and a strong sense of direction.

    Ironically, it was those very yearnings that brought us out of the cult. We matured and grew out of it. Of course, by then we'd invested nearly 30 years and sacrificed four children (they are all out now and doing well but there is collateral damage and associated guilt).

    So I totally understand how difficult it is to leave. And how difficult it is to convince current dubs to bail out unless and until they are emotionally ready.

  • ESTEE
    ESTEE

    Wow, This is a great thread! I clicked on it from freeminds.org. Never knew it would take me here! But glad it did.

    ESTEE

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    The article is a great reminder of the responsibility we are taking if we decide someone "needs to know the truth about the truth". The consequences of their life change can be terrible to them in ways we may not realize at the start. Personally I made a decision to never try to get someone out anymore, but rather answer questions asked of me or volunteer information only to people on their way out already. Even then, I almost don't want to know too much. It took an organization that has millions of people and millions of years of combined experience in mind control, to try to reverse it in someone else without any training is asking for a bad situation.

    I have so much respect for people that do the job though, it has to take a spectacular skillset in working with the human mind.

    WLG

  • Frank75
    Frank75

    I have so much respect for people that do the job though, it has to take a spectacular skillset in working with the human mind.

    There is some skill required, but the main ingredient, as Randy pointed out, they have to be standing at the door facing out or on their way already. The other thing is a great deal of time and patience to help unravel things one at a time in the necessary order, which may be different for each person. I find I have to keep this in mind as I have jumped the gun and forced some, who might have eventually left the JW's, to dig in deeper.

    I thought that One friend who was a very bad excuse for a witness since the time that we met as teens, would welcome what I had to show him. Things I highlighted even confirmed some of his own youthful observations. But scared by the prospect of a swung open cage door and wide open savannah in front of him, he went back into the cage and became more involved in the JW's.

    By the way, bravo Randy, this is an excellent article, awesome thread and excellent responses to some of the more direct questions.

    It is so hard to strike a balance of helping someone within the confines of their needs/personal experience (ie faith in the bible) and avoiding the trap of filling the void with your OWN conclusions, beliefs or concepts. In this regard I have nothing but respect for you and your efforts.

    Frank75

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    With all due respect, i cannot agree with this.

    Cults are parasitic.

    This is like saying that SOME people are better off with tapeworms. Are they?

    Are SOME people better off with learning deficits?

    Are SOME people better off in a coma?

    If a person has been damaged in a car accident, they are often BETTER OFF in a hospital, because it is a healing and protective environment.

    Are SOME people better off in bears' dens or opium dens?

    I can't imagine that anyone other than a cult leader would agree with this premise.

    What kind of people would these be who would BENEFIT from a CULT?

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I'm with Nathan on this one. After reading about cults, I have come to the conclusion that cults can be of benefit to someone only if that someone is completely unable and will never think for him/herself again.

    Logic and reasoning on one's own must be permanently absent before a cult is good for that person. Even then, there is the disrespect and patronizing of the leaders towards the sheeple that make cults just no good for anyone, no matter how you spin it.

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