Young JW sisters in a hurry (page 2)

bluecanary

Let's not forget that the only way for women to acheive any kind of status in the congro is to hitch her star to a brother in good standing. Want to go to bethel? Only if you marry a bethelite. Want to be a missionary? Only if you have a husband who can swing it. Want to be in the travelling work? Only if you marry a CO. Want people to respect you? Only if you marry an elder. There is nothing for a single woman in that organization.

dissed

bluecanary

And whats wrong with that? lol

wantstoleave

I've seen a rush to marry young, purely for sex OR because they don't want to be viewed as 'weird', like ATJ says.

God_Delusion

I know this brother (who's not been to the meetings in ages) who was married only for sex. He got divorced after his wife was caught sleeping around. He got married within a year of being divorced, again for sex.

His life is a misery.

I do blame the WBT$ partly, but I also blame him for not leaving this cult when he realised it was one (he told me so). The pressure was just too much for him in the end and he got married again.

**************************

I have known friends that got married when they were in their late twenties and thirties, but got divorced within months due to not enjoying their sex life with their partner.

Sex is part of life, so the joker that only allowed it whilst married should be shot. When going out with the opposite sex (or same sex if that's your preference), sex is a major part of the relationship that you hope to build.

Only being able to experience sex, a major part of your relationship, after you've said your vows is just wrong.

Put it this way, if we were created by a being (still can't believe people actually believe that btw), why did he/she/it give us sexual urges during our pubescent years, only to command us to try and control these urges until we get married? Oh sorry, I forgot, he/she/it likes testing us. Sounds as though god is some kind of dominatrix.

That's my two cents.

RAB

the real life

I was married at 19 and divorced at 22. The more I read the boards and the more news I hear from my old congregation, this story is very, very common. Many of my former friends married young and are now divorced. I can think of six couples just in one congregation. And of course, most of them ended by adultery as well. Kind of a miserable pattern...

wantstoleave

My catholic relative was telling me yesterday how they were receiving info (pamphlet or something) from high up in the church how marriages are falling apart left, right and centre. I guess maybe its a regular thing in most religions now?

finding my way

Growing up I just KNEW I would be married by 18 and was really surprised when I wasn't. Like a few people already mentioned, there seemed to be pressure because you knew that all the good brothers were going to be taken if you didn't get married early on. That being said... I did hear a few elders warning younger ones, including me, to be cautious of marrying young.

I was engaged at 19 after a phone relationship with a 24 year old MS that had only been going on for 3 months! I hardly knew the guy but I had elders call his congregation and check him out and hey, he was an MS so I felt safe. I moved all the way to New York from Kansas to be with him and he turned out to be a controlling sex freak and I was in a strange place with no relatives/good friends to run to. It was a disaster that ended in Dfing, but thankfully I never married the guy and thankfully I figured out that the Watchtower wasn't the truth before requesting reinstatement.

I also had a couple friends that had reached 25 or so and seemed SO old at the time to not be married. I'm 25 now and the thought of that makes me laugh.

oh, another interesting story you may not believe... I knew a girl that got married at 18 I think.. she was home schooled and VERY sheltered even for a Witless. I think she married this guy mostly to get out of the house but he was a MS so I'm sure she felt safe. Shortly after she married this guy she became VERY VERY quiet and they started moving around alot. She had always been a slim girl, but she got really heavy and stopped talking with all her friends. Years later she tried to leave him and he SHOT her!!

I'm from the midwest, so that might have something to do with it to..

wantstoleave

FMW, I too thought I'd be married by 18! It was like it was an inbuilt deadline...lol.

babygirl30

Literally - ALL my old gf's got married at 19-21! I went from wedding to wedding all within 2yrs, the ODD man out, because I could not find a 'suitable husband' to marry. All the comments of "I can't believe ur not married...what is WRONG with these brothers?" or else the inevitable "just keep praying in specific for Jehovah to send u a nice brother" UGH!!!!!!!! We are all now 30+ and MOSt of these couples are divorced, looking for their 2nd mates, and or stuck it out and are sooo unhappy. It's sad, but it makes me VERY happy that I didn't marry some idiot brother who didn't deserve ME or know how to be a 'good man'.

I also agree that being so sheltered as JW's are when it comes to dating, leads to this 'rush' to get down the aisle AND to have sex. U figure, in high school everyone is pairing off - finding boyfriends/girlfriends. What does that leave for a JW teen? So then u find a brother in the org (ONLY requirement is baptism) and date. Of coures if u r NOT sure about marriage within 6 mos of dating someone in the org, then u stand to be labeled as 'misleading' the others feelings??!!! So u either make a decision to marry and/or break up - it's a rushed decision that RARELY do I feel a lot of young people make.

Cadellin

I never wanted to get married young but I knew that if I waited till my mid to late 20's, there would be very very few brothers that were my age and still single--and those that would be, would want someone 18-19. This fact of JW life puts a colossal pressure on young women for a few reasons, the biggest being that your whole social status is tied to your husband being an MS or elder.

I've watched sisters who were married to elders, then widowed, go from being in the hub of social happenings to being on the sidelines. Older, unmarried sisters, for all the vaunting the WT does, occupy the lowest rung socially. Tragic, but true in the WT world.

Oh, I got married in my late 20's and am still married to the most wonderful guy in the world, who is patiently understanding of my fade, though active himself. I got lucky.

Young JW sisters in a hurry

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