I make believe that "troof" and still go to meetings, it's not bad, as long as you giggle inside to that stupidity.
it keeps my family together
paranoid and ready to officially leave!
by leftchica 33 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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LongHairGal
Leftchica,
I am sorry you feel like a prisoner in your own home. I hope your marriage survives the strain. I wish you all the best.
LHG
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Praying4Justice
Hi leftchica. Stay strong and use the knowledge you now have about the real truth regarding that religion.
If anyone is rude, mean or disrespectful towards you, call them on it. That goes double if it's being done on your own property. Make them realize that regardless of the situation, there is no excuse for anyone to act that way towards you. You are a mature adult and they should act as such. . .especially if they are "representing God's organization".
I have to agree wholeheartedly with Black Sheep's #1 rule. Kill them with kindness and just keep asking them to "clarify" and "verify" your question. Use their own literature so they can't use that against you and make excuses.
I wish you well and hope you can resolve this and help your husband see the truth about the truth.
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chicken little
Welcome leftchica,
Hope you have enjoyed your responses to your thread. It is so important to no that you are by no means alone with your fears. We have all been there to a
lesser or greater degree. I was given this advice...when they knock or ring, say "Thank you for your concern, but I have no need at this time to discuss
anything with you. My husband and I are regularly taking our problems to Jehovah in prayer and we will find our way through whatever difficulties we have.
We do not need any further calls from you, but if we do need you we know where to find you. Please respect our decision".
They cannot argue with this....they have to leave it alone.
Do not live in fear, take the power away from them. Consistantly refuse to discuss your reasons with anyone, we stonewalled all conversations trying to get us to explain ourselves. Be kind, friendly when you meet anyone from the kh, just don't get into it.
All the best, enjoy your freedom of mind and heart.
Chicken little
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the real life
Good post, Jeff. I agree that honesty and sincerity are what bring peace. That was one of the biggest reasons I left. I knew I could never be sincere in JW activities again and I wanted to wake up every morning knowing that every action I took was what I really wanted to do. And leftchica, hang in there. I remember when I was first fading, I hung out in my basement a lot with the main lights of the house off and I always freaked out when the doorbell rang, or if I heard a car. I made friends park in the garage, and I was constantly on the lookout for witnesses or witness cars when I went out (small town). All of this seems unecessary looking back, but part of me is glad I faded rather than DA, for family reasons (I stil have parents who are half-in). About a year after leaving, I moved out of the country, so I am completely free of any related anxiety. Just take your time, and focus on learning about yourself. Things tend to eventually work out. I wish you the best.
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leftchica
wow.. all of your advice and stories have helped. thank you! i did call the elder back after 2 more calls. He even asked on one message he left for my "hours"...um...havent been out in service for almost a yr! so i knew they just wanted to get me on the phone or see me in person. The message was about "meeting with me" so i assumed my husband had ratted me out and i freaked.
i called my husband and asked him what he told them very nicely..i stated i needed to know so i can be prepared when i called them back. He got VERY upset and started yelling " I havent said anything" ...very defensive! We started to argue a little and i started to cry. The more he defended THEM and their "loving motives" for calling and checking up on me the more i felt helpless and alone. He really is not on my side. I don't know what I have been thinking. Yes, he is not saying a word to me about "leaving the truth" because i frankly stated "i know in my heart 100% its not the truth!" several times and part of me thinks he is afraid to hear me out and turn his mind "ON"....?
He yelled " I like being a Jehovah Witness!!!" .."Just let me be and figure this out on my own! No more books and articles...if i want to research it i will when i want!"....I get it. HE has doubts maybe or just afraid to find out the truth. I apologised and we made up. I will not push the issue any more. He suggested we study the bible together as a couple. I agreed but told him i want to use another bible other than the nwt and that way we can COMPARE scriptures. He did agree to that. So now i really need to do my research and find all the scriptures that the nwt has altered. maybe this will open his mind?
Back to the elder call.....I returned his call and got the voicemail. I stated i was just really busy with my new job and going through some personal things i needed to straighten out. I would be in touch but do not feel the need for a visit.
my mom tends to think he did say something to the elders...do they really pursue those that fade? or did my husband give them a clue to my absence? not sure what to think anymore.
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HappyDad
leftchica,
You have been given a lot of good advice here.
Using another Bible to compare the NWT is a great idea. Here is a web site with over 100 different bible translations.
I wish you well.
HappyDad
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JustHuman14
Better leave than become paranoid...
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moshe
-If I write the letter do I send it to the local hall and brooklyn? Does it guarentee you are no longer considered a witness? Will I ever be able to live my life in peace?
You could write a short letter saying you have been a Bible student and member of JW's for x- number of years. Mention that you have decided you want to study the Bible and worship as the spirit directs you. Due to the fact that the KH does not allow anyone to question the official dogmas of the Watchtower Society there is no way they KH will allow you to be an member and still have questions about their teachings. Also, and that you hope your JW friends don't shun like the WT tells them too you and that your JW husband doesn't divorce you as so many other have over spouses who have stopped going to the KH meetings. I might say this, "The Watchtower teaches that I am an evil person just because I no longer believe 100% of what the Watchtower teaches and I fear they will make my life a living hell, I hope not, but I know they have done that to others ." Then send it to your local newspaper . If they print it, you won't have to write any other letters. They might just tell your husband to be nice to you to avoid bringing reproach on the Org. JW's like torturing ex- members and they know most of them will take it without a protest.
Now, if the JW's should make your life a living hell, then write a followup letter to the newspaper explaining what happened. JW's hate the light of day over their evil ways.
In my case when I quit the KH, my wife ran off with my kids later and the elders provided safe have for her and my son and daughter. It wasn't hard to find them I just started going to all the JW's homes and eventually located my kids. They were playing in the yard with the elder's kids- My son took off running as he was convinvced I was posessed of the devil. I just wrote a letter to the newspaper explaining how the KH was hiding my kids from me and my wife was welcome to come home. I also made up handbills and placed them at the homes all around the KH- left a few in the KH parking lot, too with a note. The elders must have told her something as she decided to not break up the family- she finally got a divorce 4 months later, but I was living in the home and I said goodbye to my kids on my terms, not as a WT villian.
It comes down to loyalty, to your spouse or the KH- in my ex-wife's case she sided with the KH against me and it ruined her financially and hurt the kids in the end. After the divorce and she had done the bidding of the elders the KH unofficially marked her and the kids. No JW families wanted anything to do with them socially- they were coridal at the meetings to them, but that was as far as it went. When I remarried she decided she could start dating, but no brother was interested in her since she had an apostate ex-husband who still had visitation rights with his kids. So she ended up dating worldly men, and that got her in trouble with the elders! That is when she broke with the KH over her dating worldly men. She finally figured out I was right about the WT all along, but the knowledge came almost 10 years later.
I advise you to seek joint marriage counseling with your husband before you say anything more or write any letters. Maybe a counselor will be able to help him to say no to the KH, which is what I think he could do, he just doesn't see that as a choice right now.
Good luck L-C.
added: after reading your last post I would call the marriage counselor now, today. Go the first few times alone, then the counselor will want to talk to hubby. He might sing a new tune after the counselor helps him see how irrational he has become and disloyal to to you.