So we had our circuit assembly this past weekend, and it was the first one in my life that I told my wife I would not be attending. We had a brief conversation on why, and she said well just go to this last one with me, and then when we can discuss what we learn and compare it to why you've been expressing your "new" feelings towards the WTS.
I love my wife, and as much as I thought I was gonna hate it I decided to go. Now that I no longer want to be a Jehovah's Witness it really didnt bother me that nobody hardly talked to me despite me living in this same area for 4 1/2 years, everybody views me as spiritually weak because I dont go out in service, rarely attend meetings, dont comment, lesson is never underlined, so the "friends" never interact with me anyway and I'm use to it, actually that's the way I prefer it. I knew if I day dreamed about music or other things I like to think about I could get through this one.
My wife goes to walk around and associate before the program as usual, I stayed at my seat to look through the program, and I laughed to myself thinking "yup same ole mess, safeguard your spirituality chopped up and edited into bout 20 talks, this should be fun......wow I'm sleepy already"
I got through the first 10:00am talk, but the sleepiness overtook me, so I went out to my car and slept for an hour and missed the entire theocratic school, so my wife wasnt even mad at me, she was glad I came back before lunch, so I thought wow this is pretty cool, I thought she'd be pissed. To sum up the first day, it was the same ole, Satan is a great distractor, tv, internet, and video games can distract from theocratic things. The usual experiences of people/families who cut back on alot of things to serve the WTS *cough* I'm sorry Jehovah with more devotion. One brother from our hall gave a talk about "spiritual erosion" how gradual it can overtake us, and next thing we know we're trying to find every excuse in the world to leave the organization. Now my wife is looking at me like "MMMHMMM that's YOU!"
Then they go into what characterizes a spiritual person, and the District Overseer says "Christendom thinks they're spiritual because they can speak in tongues, so what if I said I like cheese in italian, does that mean I'm spiritual just because I can speak another language?! No! It's non-sense" - This is the point where I really feel like I shouldnt have let my wife talk me into this.......then he goes on with a spiritual man eats the spiritual food prepared with love by Jehovah and passed down to his faithful & discreet slave. If we visit apostate websites, read thoughts outside of what the governing body says then we are eating at the table of demons. "Sure it's food" he says, "But it is rotten and will poison you"- Once again my wife is looking at me with the evil eye now, whispering: "the knowledge you have is from the table of the demons"
The rest of Saturday just focused on doing more in the ministry and blah blah blah
Sunday was the BIG DAY for everybody, they start off with a symposium on how single people, married couples, parents & children can do more in the ministry, being bold but not rude...
Next they focus on elders and pioneers (this was a unique approach) The C.O. went on to say many elders and pioneers do not LOVE the ministry, WOW!
Then the "Needs Of The Circuit Talk" (figured it'd just be more increase this/increase that type talk)
Instead the C.O. DRILLS the entire audience with:
People stop texting so much, too many witnesses are ADDICTED to texting, people may say "it doesnt say we cant text in the bible, Jehovah doesnt tell you to not jump off a cliff in the bible, but you know why you shouldnt, you see the dangers"
He says married people stop texting other married individuals that are not your mate, I wouldnt be texting your MOMMA! Stop texting others while you're out in field service, just wait until service is over to talk to them, if you have a profile on a social network YOU ARE BAD ASSOCIATION. (I have a myspace page for my music, I have a page on Facebook, as well as Twitter) - Once again my wife is looking at me crazy.
Then he says parents cant even tell their kids why it's not a good idea because they ARE ADDICTED TO TEXTING TOO! Elders stop texting. I was kind of laughing because everyone got a verbal spanking, and this was right before lunch, so on Saturday you saw lots of people on their phones at lunch, not the case for Sunday's lunch. I turned my phone on soon as we were dismissed for lunch. So my wife did not say a word to me all the way to the car, and the whole time during lunch, I told her my water was frozen and asked if I could have some of hers, she said "there's pop machines inside the facility" and got out and left.
Next my wife texts me saying "if you still wanna be the HEAD, then you should be on time when the music starts at 1:30"
D.O. and C.O. finish out all the talks of the afternoon session with eat healthy wholesome food from Jehovah God, stop eating junk food from the internet and apostates, it could lead to having "gang green spiritually"......they say "when you have gang green, you loose limbs, it get's cut off, not because it's mean, but because it is wise to protect the rest of the body from infection, the same is true when someone eats apostate food, they need to be cut off from the congregation before they infect the rest of us"
That did it, my wife did not hold my hand during the prayer (didnt really care anyway) and she saw I never bowed my head or closed my eyes during the prayer which was a first for me, so she didnt speak to me at all for the rest of the day, until we got home, she saw she had a flat tire and asked could she use my car for work the next day. Then she says "I'm changing and this Circuit Assembly was powerful and it came at the right time so it must be Jehovah letting her know that she will soon not have a husband because of the way I have been acting"
Now I'm hurt, I still want to leave the cult, but it does look like I'm going to loose my wife to the governing body and their doctrines, I must admit I'm very very very sad today, but at the same time, happy, that I am not budging from where I stand, and that is soon to be on the other side of all of that non-sense.
*all comments welcome*