I've been a lurker in this site for some time. I am not a Jehovah's witness, but was here because I wanted to know more about the organization, since I am in love with a JW woman. She recently rejected me, on the grounds that "she would not risk her relationship with Jehovah for someone who would die in (snap fingers)". I know this is hopeless, but I would like to know something, just for me to judge better: Is is really true that JW's don't marry outside of their faith? I happen to have a friend who did marry a JW woman, though she is not yet baptized. So, can you people shed light on this?
All right, do JW's REALLY do not marry outside of their faith?
by dgp 35 Replies latest jw friends
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IronHill
To answer your question, yes. It's against the rules to marry a "worldly" person. Now there have been cases of witnesses marrying outside of the faith, but this comes with consequences.
Although not a disfellowshipping offense, the person is viewed negatively by the congregation and considered spiritually weak and a bad association. None of which most witnesses want to experience...
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nelly136
hall to hall theyre probably in the vast minority (unless thats changed now), but yup it did happen ocassionally or one of a couple converts later.
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dgp
I appreciate the answers I have received. I assume, then, that a single JW woman would only marry a non-JW if she thought she would win more by marrying him than by staying single. I suppose the same would be true of a 45 year old divorced woman, born in the Watchtower.
If anyone wishes to say more in this regard, please do so.
I believe that, therefore, a JW of either sex falling for a non-JW, flirting, even having a relationship, and then feeling guilt and ending the thing because "not wanting to risk the relationship with Jehovah" can somehow be expected?
Thank you all.
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oompa
kinda funny actually.....btw, disfellowship means they are excommunicated from the jw faith and nobody including their family is to speak to them until they repent and come back into the faith......the funny part is that though few rarely marry out of the faith....TONS fool around and get kicked out....so you may want to just get her in the sack or back seat or whatever!.....
dgp...i do have a relative who married out and have had a great marriage for 25 years!....the husband is totally non-religious and does not mind all her meetings and such......if you could deal with it, and she loves you, you might could make that offer.....let her know you would never oppose her right to her own faith...........
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angel eyes
It's a loving provision, a jw will have meetings to attend, ministry, and certain beliefs that maybe someone who isnt a jw maynot conform with or be happy with, it could put strain on the relationship.Also if children were involved the husband is the head,even if he isnt a JW, so the mother may want the children to attend meetings and the husband may say no, or may want the children to celebrate xmas etc. It could be the man is the jw and the wife not, the wife maynot want the children to attend the meetings but the head has the final say.
This is just a few tiny problems that could accur, and thus some marriages could end. Jehovah nor any Jw would want that.
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sir82
What IronHill said, plus...
It is very likely that at some point in the future, your spouse will be forced to choose between pleasing the Watchtower Society and/or her local elders, and pleasing you. Odds are pretty high that she won't pick you.
It will only get worse if you have kids.
My advice? Run the other way and don't look back.
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nelly136
"she would not risk her relationship with Jehovah for someone who would die in (snap fingers)".
those words basically define how a jw views non jws. disposable!
oomp is right they will often play around with the non jw, as long as they dont get caught their jw face stays untarnished and they can get their thrills before dumping the disposable and marrying one of their own.
if they tried dating too many of their own or got carried away then the other partner may decide to get a conscience and confess to the elders, what would be intended as a bit of light relief could end up as a very fast trip down the aisle without trimmings to save getting dfd.
so they can play with the disposables, if they got caught i doubt elders would make them marry a non jw. they might get grief about it but they probably wouldnt have to marry 'em.
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rockmehardplace
odd question. she rejected you because she is a jw. very true that most jw's will not marry outside of the faith. however, they do not date outside the faith either. not that it is my business, but were you in a committed relationship? I would answer yes if you were wanting to pursue marriage, but i have heard of stranger things. to answer your question though, she most likely would not marry outside the 'faith' but then again, probably wouldnt date either. I would think that at this point, her guilt for having a relationship with a 'non-believer' would probably leave her with torn emotions. most jw's are concerned with appearances, so if she married a non-believer she would be viewed negatively by others for some time to follow.
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oompa
oh ya...btw.....my jw relative i spoke of never had kids..........kids would be really tough in a marriage like this...........oompa