I know this subject was posted over a year ago but this is the reason I found this forum. I had been looking at personality disorders caused from cult/religion and it brought me here. The book being discussed seems really fascinating to read and I will have to try and get my hands on it. I came to the realization 2 nights ago that I am suffering from borderline/dissassoiative disorder due to growing up as a JW. I never wanted to admit to have having some sort of personality disorder but all the proof is there.
I study Psychology as my major and I just recently received an Associates degree in Psychology. While studying the subject a person can not help but sit there and evaluate themselves. I have been taking math for the last 6 months so I have not been able to concentrate on further figuring out my condition. But in those 6 months I have seen myself flip off the handle and just go postal at times. I've seen my mood change rapidly, becoming disconnected, extreme depression, and other various symptoms.
They say that this condition comes out more after losing a parent and that I did. My father passed away 4 years ago when I was 22. He suffered a massive stroke and was on life support for a day when my brother and I had to make the decision of having him taken off. I remember the coldness from the brothers and my own brother and his wife.
I have been out of the "truth" since I was 17 years old. I never was baptized because I knew I wanted out since I was 5 years old. They had no reason to treat me so coldly. But they didn't even acknowledge me at the hospital and the only reason my brother hugged me is because I hugged him. Just imagine standing there in the hospital with your dying father in front of you, having to make that choice to end his life, and not a single person there to comfort you, not even your own family. All I got was coldness and grief from everyone.
Ever since my father's death I have noticed a long nagging depression that has lasted for long periods of time. Also I have recalled forgotten memories, extreme nightmares, and really extreme mood shifts. But the one thing I have realized out of all of this is that I don't ever recall being happy or feeling loved and accepted. I don't know if I feel it more than others because of my loner personality which was my way of escaping the JW reality I grew up in or if it is common among many that grew up that way. All I know is something is wrong because my interpersonal relationships are stormy and making friends is a very difficult process for me.
So I want to know how some of you members have dealt with some of these issues or if they feel they have the disorder as well, and if so how they have dealt with it? I really look forward to getting to know everyone!