Assembly Survival Techniques

by KingAgag 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  winstonchurchill

  Do you have an iPod or similar?

  Obviously white earphones are a bit obvious but some more discrete ones could help you through the hours.

  Not so obvious. Considering they announce the program is broadcast in FM for those hard of hearing, it's become more and more common to see people with earphones during the assembly.

  Don't let them see it's an Ipod, as those don't have FM Radio. You must use a Sansa or any MP3 with FM. Ah, and don't drum your fingers to the beat, or worse (Like screaming "Tochdown!!!!")
• 

  yknot

  You could take the baby for a stroll.......out to the car and somehow end up going to a local park.

  Making sure to return 10 minutes before lunch is recessed, meeting your wife with baby in tow and your packed lunches.

  Eat, return to your seat and wait for another opportunity to 'stroll' again.

  In between I like the FM radio/MP3 idea and can vouch for Winston's assements. I usually bring an audio book and scribble notes to look busy.

  Librivox and torrent sites like piratebay have a wide variety of listening material.

  If you have a Kindle, upload your theocratic books and an ebook or ebook and accompanying audio of the ebook.....
• 

  Chalam

  
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I agree with the ipod. I disagree about being very discreet about it. Be as discreet as the Faithful and Discreet Slave is about waiting on Jehovah to make them "know" something is right before it becomes doctrine, so they don't have to change it later.

  In other words, be proud of yourself for finding entertainment that doesn't disturb your neighbors who are listening to the ever-changing doctrine. Wear those "white" headphones.
• 

  slipnslidemaster

  We used to play dots and tic tack toe like it was going out of style. Hangman...

  Draw, doodle.

  when I was older, we'd bring a thermos full of booze and get shitfaced in the stands.
• 

  RubaDub

  we'd bring a thermos full of booze and get shitfaced in the stands

  Yes Slip ....

  We used to take those gallon thermos bottles full of orange juice and vodka (always had to use vodka so that it didn't smell like other alcohol). Some used cranberry juice instead.

  About 4 parts juice to one part vodka if I remember correctly ... and plenty of ice.

  It made that time sitting in the Nassau Coliseum (NY) and that hell-hole Veterans Stadium (Phily) much more palatable.

  Rub a Dub
• 

  The Almighty Homer

  The idea of using a small FM receiver with ear buds installed sounds like your best bet, you can tell everyone that

  you want to hear the talks better, they might even be impressed by that.

  Sorry you have to go through this trifle bullshit session.

  Don't feel your alone on this there are quite a few guys going through exactly the same thing .

  A matter of fact you might be sitting next to one .
• 

  Open mind

  Download a boatload of interesting reading material (old threads from JWD, articles, newsfeeds, etc) and save as a bunch of text files on your PDA. Position said PDA on the seat between your legs. Balance Bible on left leg and WT or KM on right leg. Use a pen (with the point retracted, DOH!) to discreetly tap the screen. Look up every scripture and keep the "source material" on the correct page so that you have an excuse for having your eyes glued to the material instead of the speaker. After reading a section of material on the PDA, look up and try to give the speaker a few seconds of eye contact.

  If done properly, even a microphone handler lurking over your shoulder won't be able to see it.

  Not that I've ever done anything like that. Just an idea.

  One more idea. This one actually a bit more serious. Keep half an ear open for any WTF? statements made in the program that you might be able to bring up later with your spouse. To be honest, I've actually paid more attention at the meetings since awakening, than I ever did as a true-believing (sort of) JW.

  I feel your pain KingA.

  Good luck!

  om
• 

  slipnslidemaster

  "hell-hole Veterans Stadium (Phily)"

  Do I know you Rub-a-dub??? Did we share a thermos?
• 

  sd-7

  My technique was simple: listen to the new sound of the Borg and write down verbatim those obviously extremist statements. I found some whoppers myself in the past three programs:

  "Evil is like cockroaches."

  Next talk: "Those in false religion practice evil daily." Comparing those we preach to to cockroaches? Wow, very loving...

  C.O.: "You don't deserve a vacation--that's Satan's thinking!" (This from a man who doesn't work and lives off of all of us. Wow. He's in a great position to decide if we need a vacation. And since when did vacations come from the Devil?)

  Another program had some great tidbits.

  "Liars become ministers of Satan." Then, 2 Cor. 6:8, "as deceivers and yet truthful"--they explained that the media is deceiving people about us.

  "Are we going to continue helping the faithful slave in the preaching work?"--This would seem to imply that the 'faithful slave' was actually DOING any of the work.

  "The Watchtower magazine is the principal way Jehovah provides his people with spiritual food."--Not the Bible, not Holy Spirit. The Watchtower. Interesting. And arrogant.

  "Wisdom of the world is based on lies, deception, prejudice."--Certainly seeing none of that here, are we?

  "God through the faithful slave gave us family worship night."--As if otherwise, we would never worship as a family.

  "Part of the power we're given is from the spirit-led faithful and discreet slave."--So...do they pass on Holy Spirit or something? I thought Jesus did that for us...

  At the door, Question-->scripture-->literature. "Bring the attention to our literature." "This isn't a gimmick or a mind trick so we can place literature."--Really? Acts 17:2, 3 (Note that Paul used only the scriptures, not the Watchtower...)

  "The faithful slave isn't trying to shame us to do more."--Certainly not. That would be mind control, wouldn't it?

  "Watchtower...develops qualities like loyalty, trust..."

  "Look at how loving the faithful slave was in consolidating meetings to give us time for family worship."

  "Ministry is a career with a real future...Ministry has no layoffs."--Tell that to the people who got laid off from Bethel...

  "World says we should have university training, but Paul said it was garbage."--Paul was also a lawyer who had the skill of tentmaking. And wrote much of the NT. A doctor wrote two other books of the NT. Well, I guess all that garbage training must have helped Paul somehow, right? If he was a lamebrain he couldn't have reasoned with anyone about the scriptures.

  See? It's fun. Try it. Just don't let the hypnosis take over. After that, you'll start feelin' guilt.

  SD-7