Deep thoughts: conditional love (page 2)

greenie

I get the difference between unconditional and fickle, and see your point, but why don't you think unconditional love exists, JD?

John Doe

I get the difference between unconditional and fickle, and see your point, but why don't you think unconditional love exists, JD?

Follow it to the logical conclusion. If unconditional love exists, it means that no matter who or what the object is or becomes, it gets love. That cheapens the whole concept of love because love becomes not a compliment, since it has nothing to do with the object of the love, but rather a mental condition of the person expressing the love, which can only be seen as blind and delusional at best.

If someone rapes, pillages, burns, abuses, beats, cheats, steals, hordes, lies, and generaly makes an all out effort to make everyone's life miserable, someone giving such person unconditional love is not right in the head. In fact, I contend that no person would express love in that situation. It's simply not reasonable.

Open mind

All love is conditional, not all love is fickle.

Very well said John.

om

diamondiiz

I don't remember if you said your partner is a jw or was raised a jw and is trying to get back in which puts him in a bit of a different category than jw since he would not be your partner at present - unless you're married and that's what you mean by partner. If you're not married and are living together for him to get re-instated he needs to either marry you or break up with you. If you were never a jw and lets say you get married, most jws won't view you as they view ex members and many may show extra affection towards you for you to take interest in wts religion. Your then husband may not change nor is it necessary that he will be something that he is not at present but people change in wts religion and out so if you stay with him you have same chances for a happy marriage as anyone else all depending on your partner. Now, if you make yourself known to other jws as knowing wts BS history and their false teachings you will be viewed as an opposer and they won't invite you guys for get-togethers and social activities which will put your partner in an akward place. It may be better to tell your partner now what you know about wts than get married and deal with it some time later. Conditional love is usually shown within their ranks to one another as a general rule, you're not being a jw will be detroyed according to wts teachings thus they won't shun you obviously but may even argue with you about what you say about wts which they wouldn't ever do with most of us exjw. So it is complicated as you have to real think about what your life may be if he becomes a jw and wants to continue as one acceptable to wts.

Most relationships are conditional to some point but when we talk about jws having conditional love or being conditional friends it is different in that jws have to give their alledgence to their leaders and anyone questioning the leaders will become an outcast.

mindmelda

Hm...I once told my JW mom that I loved my children unconditionally, that's why I didn't force them to be Witnesses, as had been done to me.

She said, "The Bible says love is conditional...it's conditional on our obedience to Jehovah."

I find that most Witnesses I've talked to don't believe God loves anyone unconditionally, so they don't have to display that either.

paul from cleveland

If you love your wife, why wouldn't you stay with her regardless of her religious beliefs?

rebel8

Unconditional love does not exist.

Nor should it, in a species with a set of morals.

People often confuse other things for unconditional love: codependence, fear of change, lack of initiative to do what's in one's best interests, unwillingness to cut one's losses [out of ego, embarrassment for having made a wrong choice, or a desire to maintain a relationship for reasons other than love].

aSphereisnotaCircle

Word it a different way, would you love him unconditionally if he were physicaly abusive?

Wouldn't your love be conditional if you refused to continue a relationship with such a person?

I agree with John Doe

Narkissos

Maybe I would define words a bit differently: to me, love is neither conditional nor unconditional: it just happens, where, when, and as long as it does -- or not. As an emotion it's the least "principled" or "moral" thing you can think of. Eva Braun probably loved Adolf Hitler truly at some point. And without emotion it is simply not there. Nice as they may sound, "love your neighbour," "love your enemies" or "love each other" are at best subversions, at worst hijackings of love.

"If you pressed me to say why I loved him, I feel that it cannot be expressed, except by replying, because it was him and because it was me." (Montaigne)

Now the conditional/unconditional dilemma applies better to relationships, which is actually what you're talking about. For a thousand reasons you may not get into, or step out of a relationship with someone you do love. Or live with someone you don't really love. From this standpoint, an unconditional relationship may be more likely to become a loveless one. Bets are it is already going this way if the word "unconditional" comes to your mind. [N.B.: I'm not referring to greenie's situation here since the "(un)conditional" issue was suggested by other people's comments.]

Another French quote by Prévert (fro M. Carné's movie Les enfants du Paradis): "Would all the people who live together love each other, the earth would be as bright as the sun."

Mickey mouse

My love for my husband is conditional. If he was physically violent towards me or my children, I would leave him.

Some conditions are worthy.

Deep thoughts: conditional love

Share this