WHY am I the last to know? (page 2)

Atomahawk

It’s sad to read, that you have to endure such anguish, this organization will never understand that their “tough love” position has rarely accomplished anything positive, on the contrary is destructive and negative, replacing love and compassion with hatred and division. I’m certain their god is very proud of them!

DJK

JO has made a motion. I second it. I've been living that way for 35 years and yes, it still hurts.

babygirl30

this organization will never understand that their “tough love” position has rarely accomplished anything positive, on the contrary is destructive and negative, replacing love and compassion with hatred and division. I’m certain their god is very proud of them!

You nailed it right there!!! I was just talking to my bf and telling him about the 'news' I learned today and he is MAD...he cannot believe that JWs are this 'crazy' (his words) and that my own parents choose THAT over their child. He used to have an interest in studying, but since my being DF'd and hearing the INSIDE version of what happened to me - he has long since changed his mind and now wants nothign to do with the JWs. He is actually dead set on confronting my dad and telling him about 'himself'....which he has up to this point, refrained from doing. He even said "how in the HELL does your family treating you so cruelly supposed to make you WANT to go back and be a JW?" And he's right!!! That type of treatment has me on the opposite side of the spectrum - not wanting to be bothered with anything 'JW' at all!!!!!

AwSnap

Babygirl, the truth (according to me) is that it will take a Loooong time for them to change, if ever. I am very sorry to hear about this. Many will tell you that any family that shuns you doesn't deserve you. To an extent, that is true. There are a lot of nasty facts you will face. There's just One thing....they are your family! That makes it so much more personal and hurtful. Have you thought of counseling? Your family may change for the worse, but hopefully you will be able to rise above that & cope in a healthy way.

blondie

I would keep in touch as recommended above and also let non-jw family keep you in the know. Better to know while they are still alive and could do something even if it is not directly. I have known of ex-jws on here who only found out a family member had died by accessing the Social Security Death Index.

Newborn

That's very sad sweetie. I'm sorry you have to go thru this...their loss...we can only hope they'll come to their senses one day.

Love

Newborn

Open mind

Serious medical conditions are definitely OK for rule-following JWs to discuss with their DFed adult children. My oldest sibling has been DFed for over 20 years and me and my other sibling TOTALLY shunned him for most of that time. Our Mother, on the other hand, would go through periods of using the slightest hangnail as an excuse to call him. But, sadly, most of the time it's been a brick Wall of Love.

journey-on

He is actually dead set on confronting my dad and telling him about 'himself'
Although tempting, PLEASE avoid this kind of drama. Being a former witness, you have to know this kind of confrontation will do no good. It will make you feel vindicated for the moment, but a deep pall will settle after the uproar, and I have a feeling you will regret it. Patience.

chickpea

such a wicked preversion of family...

so sorry your parents are so controlled
that they are willing to squander their
parent-child bond at the whim of a cult

sorry indeed

babygirl30

Journey-On

You're right...I have had to calm him down NUMEROUS times this past year over running up on my father and telling him off!!! This last episode was the icing on the cake. But once he calms down and we talk through things, he ends up changing his mind and just letting it GO...for my sake. I love my parents (don't like them though) and my father and I were CLOSE before my being DF'd happened. Even afterwards he still talked to me and was helping me out. All until I stopped coming to mtgs, and the elders would question THEM about my whereabouts and how they hoped to see me soon. At one point a visiting C.O. stayed with my folks - and that was what I think turned things around for the worst...cause right after that is when they made the choice to shun me.

Guess I'm upset because I should have EXPECTED this from my mom ... but not my dad. HE is the independent thinker in our house, HE is the one that likes control and doesn't do well being told what to do or how to act, HE is the one the has non-JW friends he spends weekends golfing with and spending a lot of time with his non-JW family. So it kinda throws me OFF that he is acting this way now.

WHY am I the last to know?

Share this