According to bookstudy, it's ok to beat wife.....occassionally

by JWinprotest 110 Replies latest jw friends

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    I grew up in a very toxic family, so just the thought of domestic violence is enough to make me feel ill. In 16 1/2 years of marriage we had our share of disagreements, but the thought of laying a finger on my spouse never entered my mind.

    The elders were often on my ass because, according to them, I "didn't have my wife in subjection". Maybe I should have asked her to use her makeup to simulate a few bruises. Who knows? Maybe it would have gotten me an appointment as a MS or even an elder.

    Nothing would surprise me any more.

    W

  • meangirl
    meangirl

    It used to make me ill when at assemblies they always gave an experience of a sister who was getting the crap beat of her by her worldy husband but she chose to say with him and she "won him over without a word" and wow, he is here today getting baptized!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    I think a lot of JW women will stick with an abusive spouse because it makes them some kind of martyr.

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    Reminds me of a pointed joke that gets told at AA meetings. Guy gets pulled over by a cop for running a stop sign. He protests that he slowed down for it, and that should be good enough. The cop pulls out his nightstick and says, "OK I'll start beating you and you can tell me if you want me to slow down or stop."

    I wonder if you could use this in other JC matters. "Well brothers I only commit fornication once in a while, it's not a habit." "I only talk to apostates some of the time, not all the time." I'm sure that would go over well.

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    I believe the elders urged women to stay with their abusive husbands because they feared she and the children would become dependent upon the congregation for support.

    Sylvia

  • AGuest
    AGuest

    'Cause that's EXACTLY the words.... word for word... my daughter (age 32) uses for me! And she KNOWS me - LOLOL! (Sometimes she calls me "Mommy" but because we are SUCH "girlfriends," she often calls me "Shelby"). So... it must be so!! SO funny!!

    Peace, GF!!

    Shel

  • undercover
    undercover
    I believe the elders urged women to stay with their abusive husbands because they feared she and the children would become dependent upon the congregation for support.

    I have to agree with you on that.

    The congregation isn't set up for charity and good works. It's set up to make profit for the publishing company. All the employees are on their own when it comes to shelter, food and clothing. A homeless, husbandless woman with children is uesless to the corporation.

  • snowbird
    snowbird
    I have to agree with you on that.

    Well, slap the dog and spit in the fire!

    Land! UC agreed with me, and so stated!

    Sylvia

  • Casper
    Casper
    He encouraged women to stay with their husbands in such circumstances so that they could be "won without a word".

    Oh, I have a "Word" for them...

    But, I don't think Simon would appreciate it here on the board !!!

    I can't believe I actually sat there, in that seat, week after week, and listened to such bull.

    My heart goes out to all the woman that suffered, I am so glad you got out.

    (((Hugs)))

    Cas

  • babygirl30
    babygirl30

    Domestic Violence is my 'cause'!!! It happened to me at the hands of a so-called JW, and since then, I refuse to sit back and EVER watch another woman go through abuse of any kind. If I hear about it or know about it - I'm stepping IN and speaking UP!!!!!!!

    My ex fiance was emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive and he like 'choking' the hell out of me. Used to make me so sick to my stomach cause on a Sat night he would yoke me up and choke me (till I blacked out) and then go to the mtg with me the next day all SMILES and professing his undying love for me...and I would stand there numb, hoping that NOBODY saw the bruises through my turtleneck or long sleeves. At the Khall he gave the appearance of really being spiritual and working towards getting himself together - all the while, that stinkin negro was kickin my tail. YES - I called him a stinkin negro (I'm a sista too...so I can).

    His dad was an elder and his mom a reg pioneer and they BOTH knew what was going on. Did they get me help? Did they turn HIM in? No and NO! Instead, they sent me emails of Awake 'articles' on being submissive, not provoking him, and what the Bible EXPECTS of a 'capable wife'. What part of capable meant ALLOWING this man to put his hands on me and call me names? Steal from me? Tell me I was 'nothing'? Uh-uh. When I did go forward and did confess MY part, a major influence on my actions WAS his abuse. But it didn't matter. To the elders, when I was describing the abuse their exact words were "this is not ABOUT your accusations - this is about fornication". Broke my heart. I'm about to marry this crazy man, and all they could say was that? THAT day I lost a lot of respect for those 'men' becuase it dawned on me that they really didn't CARE about me as a person...it was moreso about how their cong looked.

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