According to bookstudy, it's ok to beat wife.....occassionally (page 7)

Son of Man

How many of you have gone though lief without getting angry? Not a single person that will read or post a comment on this thread can say they never have. To have self control over all of your emotions in perfection is everyones goal is it not? It is wrong to expand on someones words and make it into something that was never said. Each circumstance has to be looked at in order to make a determination. It is wrong to abuse your wife it is true, however the type of conduct that constitutes has to be weighed out. If it is labeled as abuse after the circumstances have been reviewed then a problem exists and remedy has to be sought out. This seems to be the meaning of what I read so how can anyone form a different opinion on the matter?

t.f.d.s.

AdaMakawee

My experience was a bit mixed. My husband was an unbeliever, and I went to the elders more than once to talk to them about the abuse. They did not discourage me from leaving him but only reminded me that I would have to always stay single unless I could prove he committed adultry. In my case, the pressure came from my own family. My father used to ask me, when he was being abusive, "what did you do to make him angry?" Always implying that it was somehow my fault that I was being treated that way. This isn't too surprising, though my dad was an elder at the time, because he used to beat my brothers with closed fists when he was angry at them. He only beat me that way one time, but he felt too bad for hitting a female, and I made sure I (at that time) didn't let him forget that guilt.

My parents told me all my life that I need to marry a "strong man" in order to control me, because all my life I labored under that dreaded label for female witnesses: independent and willful

The thought was I needed someone to knock it out of me.

Pitiful, really. At any rate I shed the husband and the religion all at the same time.

Ada

palmtree67

Ada: "He only beat me that way one time"

Gives me chills to read that. I used to say the same thing. Why do we think it's okay if it's "only one time"?

Even that one time teaches you your place and your worth.

Son of Man

My experience was a bit mixed. My husband was an unbeliever, and I went to the elders more than once to talk to them about the abuse. They did not discourage me from leaving him but only reminded me that I would have to always stay single unless I could prove he committed adultry. In my case, the pressure came from my own family. My father used to ask me, when he was being abusive, "what did you do to make him angry?" Always implying that it was somehow my fault that I was being treated that way. This isn't too surprising, though my dad was an elder at the time, because he used to beat my brothers with closed fists when he was angry at them. He only beat me that way one time, but he felt too bad for hitting a female, and I made sure I (at that time) didn't let him forget that guilt.

My parents told me all my life that I need to marry a "strong man" in order to control me, because all my life I labored under that dreaded label for female witnesses: independent and willful

The thought was I needed someone to knock it out of me.

Pitiful, really. At any rate I shed the husband and the religion all at the same time.

Ada

Divorce is allowable on grounds of fornication. What is fornication? Anything that is contrary to the Laws of GOD is fornication. You are mixing with the "Unclean" things of this world when you commit fornication. Abusing your spouse is "Fornication" because it is unlawful to not treat your wife with love and compassion.........fornication is not just about sexual immorality. Read the scriptures for yourself with this in mind and it will make more sense.......

t.f.d.s.

oompa

did not read all of this....but i guess i applied the same thing....my wife slapped the total shit off my face last year twice in a row...i mean it may have been a closed hand even...and it was during a fairly calm argument/discussion over da troof.........guess i pushed a button too hard and wham wham....so i just quietly walked away....won her without another word right?....hell no.........oompa

Son of Man

did not read all of this....but i guess i applied the same thing....my wife slapped the total shit off my face last year twice in a row...i mean it may have been a closed hand even...and it was during a fairly calm argument/discussion over da troof.........guess i pushed a button too hard and wham wham....so i just quietly walked away....won her without another word right?....hell no.........oompa

Well perhaps you should have thanked her for removing your discarded dinner from your face

The same applies to both husband and wife even if a wife might be weaker. A strong man will do as you did and walk away, this is praiseworthy.

t.f.d.s.

AdaMakawee

Palmtree,
Sorry, I don't mean it was ok the one time by any means. I remember at the time he apologized (all abusers do) and said, lets go to Dairy Queen and get an ice cream cone. I was still pretty pissed and said, "what, so you can appease your conscience?" I think it had more to do with that than anything. He left the beatings to my mom after that so he couldn't be accused of hitting a woman. Didn't help my brothers, though.

Son, I have read that book lots of times, 7 times, to be exact. I want nothing to do with that book. Of the sum total of its parts, about 5% teaches love, if that much. The vast bulk of it teaches rape, genocide, aggression, and jealousy and violence. I want nothing to do with any religion that claims to worship the 5% and in reality acts out the other 95% most of the time.

Ada

Son of Man

Son, I have read that book lots of times, 7 times, to be exact. I want nothing to do with that book. Of the sum total of its parts, about 5% teaches love, if that much. The vast bulk of it teaches rape, genocide, aggression, and jealousy and violence. I want nothing to do with any religion that claims to worship the 5% and in reality acts out the other 95% most of the time.

I am sorry I have no idea what you mean. Are you referring to the bible?

t.f.d.s.

daniel-p

However, even if you were to consider it abuse, perhaps we should think about other things that fall into that category. Emotional blackmail is common in many relationships. Emotional abuse through being negative and insulting is also rampant. Not showing the partner respect is common. And, in fact, I would wager that nearly every relationship at one point or another has elements that may be considered abusive. As I said, I'm not condoning it, I'm just saying how it is. People shouldn't run out and get a divorce every time there's an abusive element, especially a passing one that is not the norm. If they did, no one would stay married.

There's no legitimate objective threshold for abuse. No one can say "your husband did what? that's not abuse... you shouldn't leave him," because every person has their own limits and desires for staying or not.

The most important point is that this is an area where the Society (and society for that matter), should not intercede. People decide for themselves to get married--they should decide for themselves if and when to split up.

In my mind, any amount of physical abuse and habitual emotional abuse is crossing a line... but that's just me. SOmeone else might have different thresholds for what they'd be willing to suffer.

mama1119

Crazy, those Jw are!

According to bookstudy, it's ok to beat wife.....occassionally

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