Did You WANT To Talk To Disfellowshipped People?

minimus

Did you at least want to say "hi"? Or did you avoid them like the plague?

I wanted to. I always felt bad and uncomfortable having to shun them, especially friends of mine. Especially those friends who were disfellowshipped partially due to my testifying against them because I thought that it was the right thing to do. I have some apologies to make.

zoiks

Finally-Free

I spoke to some DF'd people. I sat in a bar and had a few beers with one too. I wasn't raised as a JW, so the whole concept of shunning someone just because someone else told me to was foreign to me, especially if I didn't even know what they supposedly did wrong.

I also didn't subscribe to the belief that kicking people when they're down was showing "love" or helping them.

W

undercover

Actually I did want to talk to them. It seemed cold and harsh to shun someone who had been publicly branded a sinner. I felt they needed encouragement, not further ostracizing. But, for the most part, I followed the company directive in not having contact with DFd people...until...

I was at a funeral and a DFd person was there that I had known for years but not seen in some time. I saw an elder chatting with them, making small talk, obvioiusly a friendly chat, not an elder talking down to someone. I asked the elder about his having a friendly chat with a DFd person so out in the open and something he said changed my attitude toward how I treated DFd people from that day forward. He said that he considered what Jesus would do in that situation. He surmised that Jesus would not be cold hearted but speak consolingly and try to be encouraging and that he wanted to present a Christ like attitude.

That flew in the face of everything I had every been told about how to deal with DFd people and in an instant I realized that this was how we should treat people instead of shunning them.

That experience and another one that was even more influential (I've told it before) led me to never shun DFd people again. My last couple of years still active, I never again shunned DFd ones. Too bad it wasn't enough to make up for all the years that I did though.

wobble

I always smiled and said Hello but didn't stop to talk etc. I was never happy with it ,I always felt that common civility was due any human ,no matter what they had done to upset the WT.

I too enjoyed a drink in a pub with some DF'd people,along with my wife and another bro and sis,we didn't see that as problem at the time.

Love

Wobble

dissed

I always greeted them in public with a 'howzitgoing' for two reasons.

1. It looks bad to others that might be looking on. My culture that I was raised in always greeted people, so it was my custom to do so. Would be EXTREMELY rude not to do so.

2. Wanting to reach them in a small way, 'see what you are missing? Come back, please!'

Occassionally, would carry on a brief conversation, like 'how the folks doing?' But was always very brief.

alanv

I must admit I avoided them like the plague. As a JW it is totally inculcated in you that dissfellowshipped people had abandoned Jehovah and his org.

If I only new then what I know now (sigh)

blondie

Actually, I did talk to them. I had to train 2 df'd jws in my department. It went fine and friendly. They actually were more cautious that I ever was. I talked to those I met out and about. I knew that elders talked to their df'd children all the time. And not just for "necessary business."

creativhoney

no I wanted to and sometimes I did.

I never looked down my nose. just never agreed with it.

LongHairGal

Absolutely. I made eye contact and smiled at them in public. I noticed they were more hesitant than I was. I was especially curious if I suspected them being DF'd had nothing to do with 'immorality'. I would never be nosy over somebody's relationship with another person because this doesn't interest me.

I wanted to know about the ISSUES people had with the religion. This is what they don't want you to find out.

Did You WANT To Talk To Disfellowshipped People?

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