Did You WANT To Talk To Disfellowshipped People? (page 2)

WTWizard

I used to avoid them. And especially those who were obnoxious while they were active witlesses.

BluesBrother

I did say "Hello" and nod, if I knew them...that much seemed right and proper. To not do so felt a churlish thing to do.

If I had business, like being a customer of my employer , then I dealt with them the same as any other customer (which is what the WT advises) .

I did not have any desire to associate with them though..The dub training made me think that "They have made their choice, it is up to them" . There one or two men that I felt antipathy to anyway, if I knew that they had left a wife and kids to take up with a new woman...Funnily enough, I knew of three cases where that happened and the new woman started studying and became the "spiritual person" of the relationship, eventually - with a re instated husband tagging along.

Longhairedgal said

if I suspected them being DF'd had nothing to do with 'immorality'

In my experience, it always was for sex or smoking..Nobody seemed to argue with the doctrine..One or two may have d/a'd themselves but I knew not why...

babygirl30

Sadly, I used to IGNORE people that were DF'd and I was very haughty about it too! Like someone else said - I would figure to myself "Well THEY obviously had a bad attitude and were unrepentant - so they brought it on themselves!" Huh.........................such a ridiculous frame of mind I was in!! Cause after my own DFing i now understand that it's not always 'by choice' that the decision is made.

minimus

When I wasn't an elder, I'd hold the company line. While I was an elder, I always tried to be pleasant and not disregard them.

dig692

I only remember 1 or 2 people in my congregation that were df'd, but I didn't know them nor had I ever met them before, but if they happened to walk by me I would smile, or hold the door open to the kingdom hall when they came in or out if I was in front of them. Just something any decent person would do. I would get looks sometimes like I was doing something grotesque but I could never see a reason why I couldn't show a little bit of decency and courtesy.

Of course I never took the initiative to talk to them and be more encouraging. I was too afraid of what would happen to me. I feel terrible about it now, especially being df'd myself, it would be nice if SOMEONE would at least smile and not look at me like I was a leper.

I just think the org has people too scared to even think about talking to a df'd person. Especially with all the talks they give lately about how you shouldn't even say Hi because then its like you're going agaist the WT and there could be dire consequences. Just another way to control people I guess.

thepackage

I always talked with DF people. I used the excuse that I had “business” with them. I never have approved of “shunning” and still don’t. It’s a very cruel practice.

asilentone

I do not mind to talk to ANY disfellowshipped people, BUT there is one that I might have hard time to talk to, he seduced my back then JW girlfriend before he got disfellowshipped, he was my best friend, Well, it happened 20 years ago, I know that he is still disfellowshipped. We have not talked ever since, but I might take baby steps for us to communicate again. I do not know.

minimus

Screw him, he doesn't deserve you to talk to him.

Awen

I would smile and say hello, but that was all. I didn't agree with the policy though, I felt it was very un-Christ-like and since it was written by an Apostle and not Jesus, I questioned it's validity.

I recall a local Elder who had a son who was disfellowshipped (again a few years later) and he spoke to him. When I asked the Elder about it, he said that he wasn't about to cut his son off, no matter what the WTS said. If they wanted to take his position away, that was fine by him, he couldn't get another son.

It was something that stuck with my for a long time and caused me to change my mind. Love should be the overruling factor in how we deal with others. Jesus showed in his parables about doing works on the sabbath that if a life was involved, the laws could be bent or even broken as life is more important than a rule.

Years later after I was DFed and treated the same way I went to the memorial and met another DFed person. I stopped and spoke with them at length and gave them encouragement and reassured them that although the WTS might have them in an unapproved state, YHWH didn't see things the same way as men. I was later counseled by an Elder for doing so, to which I replied "Whatcha gonna do? Disfellowship a person who is already disfellowshipped?" I told him I disagreed with the Society's view on the matter and if he didn't like it, then it was too bad.

Jesus was ridiculed for speaking with sinners and tax collectors, to which he replied "those who are not ill do not need a doctor, but those are, do."

HappyGuy

It depended on who it was. I had several friends who I knew to be good hearted people who were disfellowshipped because they were dating a worldy person (over the sex outside of marriage issue), but I knew these people well and knew that they were not a danger to the congregation and were not "immoral".

I also had family members who were DF'd who I still talked to.

There were others who I knew were two faced scumbags who I would not speak to, but those people I didn't talk to before they were DF'd.

Did You WANT To Talk To Disfellowshipped People?

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