Did You WANT To Talk To Disfellowshipped People?

by minimus 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Tristram

  When I was younger I thought DF'd people were the most evil people in the world. I was scared of them.

  Then when I was a teenager I went to a friend's graduation, and her DF'd brother was there. We were all carrying on afterwards and he was just standing quietly to the side. I felt so guilty...he was a human being after all, and didn't seem to have fangs or anything. So I said "Hi" to him and introduced myself, and he was the nicest guy. But I was around his JW parents and others so I shied away a little.

  Then my best friend got DF'd and we hung out together every day until the announcement was made, but afterwards had no contact, me being a good JW and all.

  So I was just off and on so much over the years...I wanted to talk to them but was afraid of men, of breaking the rules, of being found out.

  Now I have a couple that I keep in touch with because they have been such good friends over the years. And of course plenty of friends who (according to the rules of the game) "should" be DF'd but are off on a "technicality" because they have faded successfully.
• 

  minimus

  The elders would have FITS when some "weak" Witnesses would talk or communicate with df'd ones. I knew a few that were themselves threatened with being df'd!
• 

  EmptyInside

  Yes, I got into a little trouble after talking to my close friend right after they were disfellowshipped. It was hard, but I didn't talk to her after I was counseled about it.
• 

  truthseekeriam

  I alway did

  I was one of those that always smiled and said hello, or gave them that smiley face that they appreciated, when everyone else was acting like fools trying to avoid eye contact.
• 

  crapola

  Yes I did. I always hated shunning someone. It seemed so cruel. I've apologised to one person just yesterday for the way I ignored her for years.
• 

  BabaYaga

  I wanted to and I DID.

  I was privately counseled by the elders for doing so.

  This is the main reason I knew the elders were wrong and that the (T)ruth was NOT. My realization about the way disfellowshipped ones were treated when they needed love and support the most was the first real step towards my exit.
• 

  Luo bou to

  I met one in the field service encouraged her to come to meetings which she did ... the elders were pissed off when I did this...that she didn't come of her own initiative ...apparently she was supposed to crawl back ...needless to say she only attended 3 meetings after the loving Shepard's (puke) got involved ...so much for the parable of leaving the 99 to find the lost sheep. No I didn't shun even had one around for dinner with my family to encourage him. Horrors I ate with a condemned sinner. Now where did I get such a notion?
• 

  Leprechaun

  Yes I remember as a kid, some wanker, would get disfellowshipped and all these sisters would start crying, I thought to myself at 15 what the hell’s going on how stupid this is.
• 

  finallysomepride

  When I was in my late teens I worked with a DFd person, we had all types of conversations including the jws as a topic, never worried me, at that point in my life i had not been baptised. The elders knew of the situation, none of the them ever approached me about it.

  A couple of times I have seen DFd persons on the street & I have made a point of approaching them, to their great surprise.
• 

  MissingLink

  Wanted too, yes. But never did break this rule until I woke up. So stupid! I broke lots of other "rules". I don't know why I was such a dick about this one.

  Last year I ran into a guy in town who is DF. I invited him to sit down for a cup of coffee. He was shocked, and said it wouldn't be appropriate, that I shouldn't be talking to him. I told him I don't believe those things any more, and we had a nice chat. But he was looking to get reinstated, and I doubt he'd extend me the same courtesy at this point, knowing how 'evil' I am.