The Story of SD-7 - Chapter 2

by sd-7 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    ...I just remembered that as a child, all I did was stand in the hallway of my apartment, dressed for the meeting, and that led to someone becoming a JW--a very, very devout JW at that... Hmm. I can see how this could become a problem. But if at all possible, should it come to that, I may have to reveal myself to an innocent person in order to save them. Whatever the case, it's no different than any other double agent's mission. In order to maintain your cover, you have to do things that will keep you awake at night. I can only be comforted knowing that at least some of the message JWs share has helped folks to stop smoking and using drugs or reduce the risk of getting involved in crime or getting a disease or cursing at people or etc. There are good qualities that, if one adheres truly to the spirit of Christ's words, can be developed. I can only hope that I will err on the side of Christ and not on the side of the Society. It will be my only solace, and I will bear the responsibility for whatever else may come.

    SD-7

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    sd-7, I have to admit that, at first, I thought you had lost your mind and signed up for an impossibly frustrating life. After I thought about it, I realize that she is your life. It is not much different than those of us who stay in and play the game to keep contact with our families.

    If loving her is what makes you happy, what gives you meaning in a sometimes cold and dark world, then grab hold of that meaning and hang on tight. I wish you and your new family the very best.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    sd-7, I have to admit that, at first, I thought you had lost your mind and signed up for an impossibly frustrating life. After I thought about it, I realize that she is your life. It is not much different than those of us who stay in and play the game to keep contact with our families.

    --I have lost my mind. I have signed up for an impossibly frustrating life. She is my life. You are thus far very adept at figuring me out!

    But she does indeed give me meaning in life. If anything, I owe her more than she will ever know. It is because of her that I found out the real truth. If she hadn't loved me, I never would've started down this road. And once it was all done, I knew. I knew that nothing in the universe should logically prevent me from getting her back. So I got her back.

    Thank you. I'll definitely do my best to make it work.

    SD-7

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep
    as a child, all I did was stand in the hallway of my apartment, dressed for the meeting, and that led to someone becoming a JW

    I'll bet there was a lot more to it than that. They would not have been recruited without an adult JW doing their bit. I think that you were told that story by people trying to make you feel good about being a JW. I've heard similar stories about me. I was a picture book Dubbie child on the outside.

    I can only be comforted knowing that at least some of the message JWs share has helped folks to stop smoking and using drugs or reduce the risk of getting involved in crime or getting a disease or cursing at people or etc.

    Being brought up a child of JWs didn't stop me from doing any of that, plus I was infested with the psychological damage of being brought up a world of killer gods and demons.

    All cults have victims, willing victims and innocent victims, and I do think it matters, and I don't believe that because other cults/political parties/media use the same mind control techniques and do similar damage that that makes it ok.

    Learning the truth about Jehovah's Witnesses convinced me that most of what we do is irrelevant. I always believed that. In this immense universe, we aren't even a stain on the fabric. As Dr. Manhattan wisely put it, "The existence of human life is a highly overrated phenomenon." At least knowing that there is no real true religion confirms that for me.

    Dr. Manhattan made a foolish statement. I would not be a part of any cult that belittles the value of life. It is a common theme among cults. You won't find it amoung humanitarians. Do you consider yourself to be a humanitarian?

    Cheers

    Chris

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Black Sheep, I was old enough to remember the incident in my childhood. You are correct that there was a lot more to it than that, of course. The person was quite familiar with JWs in the first place, and odds are she would've been recruited anyway. It just happened that she encountered me and started studying with my mom. It wasn't just something people told me. "It has happened! I saw it happen! I watched it happen! Don't tell me it didn't happen!"--Nero, "Star Trek", 2009.

    Perhaps you are right, that it's not justifiable, what mind control groups do. But can we stop them? Can anyone? At a certain point, one has to realize that one is indeed fighting against killer gods and demons in a very real way. Nobody comes back if they climb Mount Olympus to fight the gods. Even so, I think it is only right that good people fight those gods regardless.

    And it's true--many people do indeed turn to drugs, sex, etc. in spite of the 'positive influence' of cults. So I suppose my statements were motivated largely by depression and a sense of hopelessness, a grasping for straws when there are none to grasp for.

    Even despite Dr. Manhattan's statement, even he realized there was value in human life, eventually. It's still overrated in terms of the larger universe, one planet in one solar system in one galaxy out of billions of galaxies. But for us here, who live here, yeah, human life is valuable. And cults do have that whole "dispensation of existence" problem. I don't agree that any group should have the right to decide who lives and who dies. That seems to be beyond the scope of man, with some extremely rare exceptions. Life should be given, not taken, and its value should not be legislated by men. I don't think humans are worthless. I think we are capable of extraordinary things and we should be allowed to pursue those things.

    I don't consider myself a humanitarian. I give to Save the Children and Greenpeace because I think innocent people who are suffering should be helped, and I think protecting the environment is a vital part of making a difference. But I don't ordinarily help people otherwise, to be quite honest, simply because I--in harmony with the doublethink I was raised with--also believe humans are inherently evil and retreat to their primal roots (destroy, kill, hoard everything to myself and even take from the innocent) at the first opportunity. As a result, too many of us are not even worth saving, myself included. But since that's not any man's decision, I just keep that as a personal observation.

    I don't claim to have any good values or ideas about the world. I'm just trying to run the clock out and get this life over with. I can't ask for anything beyond that.

    SD-7

  • goldensky
    goldensky

    Dear sd-7,

    You sound like such a wonderful person! You remind me of somebody else on this forum whose love for a sister is incredibly strong and pure. And you express yourself so intelligently! That's why words such as: "I'm just trying to run the clock out and get this life over with. I can't ask for anything beyond that", make me so sad. You have your lady living by your side, you go to bed and wake up every day next to her, the woman of your dreams, sd-7, so enjoy your life to the full with her! Not many people have that opportunity, you know?, so what do you mind the world? Just be happy. I respect what other posters have told you so far, but in my opinion you are not hurting anybody, so don't get lost in speculation. Just live happily, you have achieved what many have not.

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