Visiting brother gets fed today...

by garyneal 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    I suffered through 3 hours of JW-dom by going to the meeting with my wife because my daughter wanted to go and my niece was being carried too. A part of me feels a bit obligated to go when my daughter goes out of protection for her and a part of me feels like I should go since my wife had two small girls going with her and my daughter alone is a handful.

    A visiting brother in the neighboring city of Suffolk, VA gave a talk today and some of the people wanted to take him out to dinner. My wife was invited to go along and she was real excited about that. Normally, I would not be bothered to go but since I felt like this was the only way I'd get a real meal tonight, I went. We went to the chinese buffet restaurant and since I did not have chinese in a while, I rather enjoyed it.

    Some of the highlights of the 3 LONG hours at the talk, the WT study, and the dinner:

    • I was impressed about how the brother started his talk. It centered mostly on Jesus and how we were suppose to serve Him.
      • Frankly, I'm use to most talks centering on Jehovah and the Faithful and Discreet Slave that for a moment. I was beginning to think he was one of those 'maverick' Jehovah's Witnesses. The type that comes here on this board but are still very active in the congregation.
    • However, it did not take long before the faithful slave came into the talk.
      • How do we serve Christ Jesus? We do it through His visible organization and His Faithful and Discreet Slave.
      • How do we serve His organization? Locally, we do it by following the elders for if we follow the elders who follow the Faithful and Discreet Slave, we follow the head who is Jesus Christ.

    During the watchtower study, I labored as I tried to keep my niece preoccupied in the meeting room and my daughter calm when I was out in the outer area that I frankly missed most of the study. Thank goodness for small favors (literally).

    Finally, before we left the hall, I became bored and I wanted to go home. However, my wife still wanted to go to the dinner 'feeding of the visiting brother' and I knew how much it meant to her so I suffered a little longer. Finally, it was all over, and my wife went and talked to people after the meeting.

    I noticed a woman who was at the meeting who I did not see since the KH wedding that I attended. I asked her how she was doing and asked if she was doing okay. Her mom is ill so she had been missing a lot of meetings to tend to her. When I last saw her at the KH wedding, she kept saying over and over (as if she had something to prove) that her mom was ill and that was why she missed so many meetings. I wished I had thought about it at the time because I should've told her that Jesus understands and is there with you every step of the way. Sometimes, I think I go only because I feel that these are people who truly love the Lord and are sadly being misled. I know I cannot say too much or else I would be marked and told not to return, but sometimes I cannot help but think that some of these people would truly benefit from a small uplifting feedback. I wonder if they get enough of it in the congregation?

    At the dinner, the visiting brother was told that I was a 'visitor' and when he asked me about it I said, "Yes sir." He replied, "No need to call me sir." I say yes sir and yes ma'am as a custom of respect to anybody. The conversation we had was 'deflected' as the elder's wife interrupted and began telling him about how my wife is a study and boasted about how she progressed into becoming an unbaptized publisher. Perhaps she was just boasting o

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    Crap, this thing cut off my post. I wish there was a way for this system to let you know how much you are allowed to type.

    I typed so much stuff that I cannot recall everything I typed and am not in the mood to try to retype what I remember was lost. Oh well....

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers
    ...sometimes I cannot help but think that some of these people would truly benefit from a small uplifting feedback. I wonder if they get enough of it in the congregation?

    No, they don't unless they are doing their all for the WB&TS ie pioneering, being a ms/elder, etc. And even then they're pushed to do more. People like that lady with the sick mother or who have any other problems that get in the way of serving their lord and master, the gb of the fds are pushed aside like yesterday's trash.

  • Bourne
    Bourne

    garyneal,

    I was just getting into it. Pick it up tomorrow....please?

    Bourne

  • HappyGuy
    HappyGuy
    ...sometimes I cannot help but think that some of these people would truly benefit from a small uplifting feedback. I wonder if they get enough of it in the congregation?

    When I was a JW I sought out people who were the "down and outers" in the eyes of the "strong" Witnesses. My message was always Jesus' love as expressed in the NT.

    I like your idea of telling anyone who is downtrodden that Jesus understands and loves them anyway.

    Trust me words like that will be a life saver to a sister like this. Because she is missing meetings she is being looked at in a very judgemental way by the congregation. In their terminology she isn't "strong".

    I wished I had thought about it at the time because I should've told her that Jesus understands and is there with you every step of the way.

    Please give encouragement like this to all the people who really need it that you encounter. The machine won't do it.

    Please do not worry about them "marking" you for doing so. They won't. They won't understand it, but how can they disrespect love?

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    *yawn*

    A bit sleepy but since I am still up and on this message board I will complete what I originally posted. Operating from memory, where was I?

    The elder's wife (who we have been studying with) interrupted our conversation, butting in and kind of bragging on my wife's progress. Perhaps she was not really bragging for her own benefit but boasting for the sake of my wife, admonishing how proud she was of my wife at her progress in the truth. My wife progressed to 'unbaptized publisher' and the visitor pushed the theocratic ministry school. My wife, is 'moving on up' in the congregation now and seemed pleased that the opportunity presented itself to her. Frankly, it reminded me of what one poster on here says when he speaks of the 'witlesses' and their 'boasting sessions.'

    During dinner my wife asked the lady sitting beside her, "So, how long have you been in the, um, truth." I laughed to myself over this statement. I don't get why they ask each other this, perhaps it is innocuous or perhaps they are testing each others 'spirituality' as I've seen some people on here state. Frankly, I cannot say that I've ever recalled any christian asking another christian how long that person has been a christian, though I am sure this topic is discussed occasionally. In fact, come to think of it, I have a long time friend of mine who I met in a Christian group in college and I don't recall him ever telling me when he became a Christian. For all I know, he may not be one even though he currently attends a Southern Baptist church with his wife and has prayed with me back when we use to go to retreats together.

  • HappyGuy
    HappyGuy
    During dinner my wife asked the lady sitting beside her, "So, how long have you been in the, um, truth." I laughed to myself over this statement. I don't get why they ask each other this, perhaps it is innocuous or perhaps they are testing each others 'spirituality'

    It is innocuous. Just an ice breaker.

    I know this may sound a bit wierd but it is a sort of way of showing love. You see, to them a person is dead if they are not a JW, so when a person comes into the "truth" the person is being given life. That is why the question has such import and why other Christians don't ask each other a similar question. Other Christians don't view people as dead before they accept Jesus as their savior.

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    I decided to write it in bits for I am not going to have my post partially posted this time. Continuing on...

    Overall, everything went okay and I did not have any major 'please pass the jelly moments' though I know the kids were being disruptive and my wife was questioning my parenting skills again. They seem to come into question more at the Kingdom Halls than anywhere else but she has questioned me about them elsewhere as well. Our child is not as well behaved as the other kids in the hall and I think it bothers my wife. My wife did take my daughter to The Spanking Room TM but I felt she was justified in doing this because my daughter hit my wife and I told her that she is never to hit her parents like that. Ironically, though, my wife did not spank my daughter in the room and her reason for taking her there was not because of her hitting my wife. It was because my child was being restless and a bit disruptive.

    Never-the-less, I see a big difference between how things are viewed at the church I attend and how they are at the hall. Today in church, my child was a bit restless too. After the singing, my daughter wanted to go outside to the church playground and I told her not until after the sermon. She had a choice of sitting with me in the sanctuary or going to Sunday school, she chose to sit with me. As I was struggling with her and trying to keep her somewhat quiet, I notice a man who was sitting near us was watching us. I asked him if we were disturbing him, he said no and he came over and talked to my daughter. "Did you want to go to Sunday school?" he asked. She said, "No." I said, "Yeah, I already asked her and she wanted to stay. I don't mind her staying and even enjoy spending the time with her, but I am trying not to disturb others." He said, "Well, she may want to go eventually as she gets to know some of the other children. Things work on God's timetable, not ours. You two are not disturbing us and if you were, we can move. You are doing just fine." Big difference in attitude than what I see in the hall, or more to the point, what I see from my wife.

  • garyneal
    garyneal
    You see, to them a person is dead if they are not a JW, so when a person comes into the "truth" the person is being given life.

    I guess I am dead then.

    On a sillier note, my sister-n-law fixed dinner tonight for us as we were out feeding this brother. When I got home, I felt bad and thought that we should've came home instead of go out to that restaurant. Looks like I would've gotten a decent meal without having to cook it myself in any event.

    Anyway, I told my sis-in-law that my wife was going into the theocratic ministry school and this upsetted my wife because she thought I was making a joke of it. I was making a joke, but not of my wife going into the school. The joke was about what my sister-in-law did with my niece one day as we were going to a meeting a few weeks back. She was walking home and saw us, waved us down and asked where we were going. When my wife said we were going to the meeting and asked should the niece go or stay with her, she decided to get the her daughter out saying "Mommy is not going to help you get to paradise anytime soon." As we were leaving them, I made a comparison with Madea in the play Madea Goes to Jail. Madea taught a young woman how to pray and "sent her halfway to hell" according to Madea.

    So the joke was basically to my sister-in-law, "You and I are sending our daughters half way to hell like Madea but my wife will bring them to paradise." She laughed a little.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBZdFmh9bw4

  • dgp
    dgp

    Gary, I am your fellow worldly, and you know it. I see a trend here: you will sink into boredom, more and more, with every meeting. That's not news for the people here, but I wonder how you will handle that.

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