15 kinds of wimmen - which are you?

Satanus

1. Miss Feminist

This woman postulates that all the ills of society are orchestrated by men and the best thing a man can do to improve himself is cut off his testicles and grow a pair of ovaries. She believes that women are angelic creatures who would make the world a utopia if only the male "patriarchy" would allow them to. Any woman who promotes these absurdities lives in a fantasy world and will have no problem at all treating a man in a way that she would never herself abide by. You can easily identify her by her incessant mantra, "All men think with their penises." Avoid her at all costs.

2. Miss Take

She's out for your money -- pure and simple. Miss Take is the ultimate in high maintenance. She expects a man to finance her entire life just because she is biologically female. To her, a man should pay for drinks, dinners, trips, flowers, and jewelry, while she feels absolutely no guilt or compulsion to reciprocate. She is nothing but a whitewashed prostitute. Miss Take thinks her vagina is plated with gold and is worth a million dollars. She is greed personified. Since she has no concept of someone else's feelings, her only interest is in getting what she wants. And don't be fooled -- some apparently very "nice" girls are the greediest of them all.

3. Miss Romance

This type of woman lives in a fantasy world of Lifetime Channel movies and romance novels. Every night she goes home alone to spend hours flipping through her bride magazines, imagining that, at any moment, Prince Charming will ride up on his white horse, sweep her off her feet, and offer her a problem-free existence for the rest of her life. The Miss Romances of the world have been coddled by parents and family, told they are "princesses," and have absolutely no idea that real life consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets. Miss Romance will expect to be taken care of, will be a dud in bed, and will, almost overnight, turn into a shrieking nag. Run.

4. Miss Elusive

This woman is closely allied to Miss Romance, but with a dark side. She is usually one of the "walking wounded" -- someone who has been hurt in past relationships and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter frustration, as first she shows great interest in you, but very quickly runs away -- then repeats this cycle over and over again. Miss Elusive is the queen of mixed messages. She will flirt with you and date you, but you'll never get past "friend" status. What you will get is a million excuses for her unavailability, all calculated to deceive herself that she just doesn't have time for a relationship. Save yourself some heartache -- don't get involved with her.

5. Miss Angry

Like Miss Feminists, Miss Angrys really don't like men. They scorn the male gender and can rattle off all the wrongs and misdeeds of every man they've ever encountered. To Miss Angry, there's no such thing as a nice guy -- they're all "jerks," "creeps" and "pigs." Many of them have lots of simmering anger at men, which can explode at any moment like an erupting volcano. Unless you're into lots of drama and screaming, stay away.

6. Miss Insecure

This woman seems great at the start because she's very nice, accommodating and treats men well. But her inner insecurities don't take long to surface. Pretty soon she's calling you 10 times a day, asking to see "where the relationship is going," or because she "just wants to hear your voice." She needs constant reassurance that she's attractive, and worries incessantly about her makeup, hair and the alignment of her clothes. She's clingy, needy and compulsively agonizes that you're going to leave her at any moment for "someone better." This kind of thing can get really creepy really fast.

Satanus

7. Miss Bitch

Miss Bitches are the sulkers, pouters and ball-busters of the female world. They are very unpleasant people who treat their fellow humans poorly, care only about themselves, and aren't concerned at all if they hurt you or anybody else. Most Miss Bitches qualify as Miss Takes, too. Miss Bitches are usually good-looking and well dressed, and you can easily identify them by the scowls on their faces as they imperiously strut through the world.

8. Miss Me

A close relative of Miss Bitch, Miss Me is entirely focused on herself. Miss Me needs to be the constant center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes. She is a selfish, self-indulgent, self-serving narcissist who was raised as "daddy's little girl," and expects the same from you. Unless you enjoy the company of spoiled brats, stay far, far away.

9. Miss Desperate

Whether it's her baby clock ticking or she's the last of her girlfriends to trap a man, Miss Desperate wants to get married -- now. She doesn't care who the guy is or what he does -- as long as he's got a penis she can drag him to the altar. Watch out for this one!

10. Miss Turncoat

She's a conniving little piece of work who's an expert at conning men. Miss Turncoat will tell you exactly what you want to hear until you're hooked deep into the relationship (or married)… and then the truth comes out. Overnight, your sweet little girl turns into a demanding, greedy, mercenary harpy who will browbeat you into submission if she doesn't get her way.

11. Miss Tease

Usually, you can spot Miss Teases a mile away because she flirts with anything in pants and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity. Sometimes she sponges off older men; sometimes she's a ball-buster who enjoys getting men sexually excited and then walking away; and sometimes she just basks in her sexual power by attracting men like bees to honey. No matter how she operates, you can't trust her because she craves male attention and if somebody better comes along, she'll dump you in a heartbeat.

12. Miss Controlling

She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what friends you can have, what you can eat -- everything. And if you try to stand up for yourself, she will cut off sex, cry, scream, pout, or use any other deceptive female tactic until you give in and succumb to her demands.

13. Miss Broke

While you worked your ass off for years to get ahead, she was whoring around in Barcelona. She still hasn't paid off her student loan, has credit card debt equal to half her meager income, and drives a car she can’t afford. Her total debt is close to what she makes in a year, and her total assets are worth about two grand. She thinks nothing of taking a trip she can't afford, eating out several times a week or living by herself (her privacy is IMPORTANT) when having a room mate would improve her financial situation dramatically. If you choose to get serious with Miss Broke, be prepared to work until the day you die, because you will NEVER get ahead. Do yourself a big favor and find out about your new love's finances ASAP.

14. Miss Mentally Ill

She seems to be OK at first, but the first time you get her naked you find out her body is covered with self-inflicted scars. Clinically depressed, suicidal, physically/mentally abused, obsessive/compulsive, passive/aggressive, and bipolar people need love too, but they also need professional help and often refuse to get it. Don't let this one catch you off guard, it's more common than you may imagine, especially eating disorders. Run away and don’t look back!

Caedes

Surely that is only six?!

I mean fourteen?!

Nevermind!

Satanus

15. Miss Pet

She has more than three cats and could be nuts. Look no further than the newspaper to read about some "cat lady" who was evicted because she had a filthy place crawling with dozens of cats. Another type to avoid is one who owns a lap dog that she dresses up and puts bows on. Her Precious will always be number one with her. You'll always be number two, and no guy wants that. Remember; if you're a good boy and treat her Precious well, she'll treat you right and keep you around for a long time. But, if it gets to be too much of a hassle, you can always develop a "serious allergy" and go your separate ways. And next time, look for a woman without a pet.

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;)) S

Why aren't there any good wimmens in your list?

Miss Ogyny killed them all :(

:-D

15 kinds of wimmen - which are you?

Satanus

Satanus

Caedes

Satanus

palmtree67

lovelylil2

sacolton

snowbird

Priest73

SixofNine

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