What does it change really..... (page 2)

refiners fire

again.
Lets not talk about those happy witnesses.
Lets talk about YOU.The most important person in the world..
Did being a Jehovahs Witness make YOU feel happy?
If not, WHY not?
Lets talk about that.
Are you game??....

flower

wasnt happy but it had less to do with the org and more to do with me. just who i am. i've never been happy even as a kid. that should be a clue right there. i mean children are happy. its their very nature to be so. even JW kids.

at five i remember my first day in a new school and wishing the earth would open up and take me away from that situation. it is normal i suppose for a kid in a new school. but its supposed to get better with each passing day yet i could go through an entire school year feeling the same as that first day.

no i wasnt happy as a witness..the reasons are too numerous to mention. but i think mainly its just my personality and who i am. it doesnt much matter where i am i'm not going to fit in. maybe at first until people get to know me.

flower

expatbrit,

time and distance can heal anything though. it doesnt make it right or true just because doubts and feelings will go away eventually. that could just be due to the fact that you have been away so long that you have forgotten all that was learned.

flower

jay,

i'm sorry to hear that. dont really understand that. they say jehovah has his own timetable which we as humans cant understand.

i dont know that it wont ever come true jay. what convinces you of that?

nelly136

flowers if it all depended on emotional stability I'm
not sure how many of us would be fit to have kids,
I cant say hand on heart I'm emotionally stable I have ups and
downs too, please dont be so hard on yourself,
its time to start seeing the things youve done right, not dwell on
things you feel you got wrong in the past, its tomorrow that
counts not yesterday
luv deb x

expatbrit

Flower:

You make a good point. It's true that after a while you forget a lot of the WT stuff. The doubts don't go away though, unless you make an effort to research things to find out for yourself the real facts. Doing that over time will help you a lot, I'm sure.

I really hope you carry on learning about the Watchtower, and that soon you start to recognize how valuable you are. Please keep posting and asking questions here.

Expatbrit

terafera

Flower,

Reading your post makes me sad because I've felt the way you've felt. I believed that when I left the meetings that I left Jehovah. I was in such turmoil over raising my son as a Witness or in the World that I made myself literally sick. I suffered from panic attacks .. you name it, I felt it. I never felt for a second though that I wasn't capable of raising my son. You see, he is a Gift from God.. and by looking at him I realize how much God does love me. My whole life I was treated like crap by my family... but I knew one day God would ease my pain. And he has. When I see how my husband and son love me unconditionally, I see how much of that love is from God too. He wants us to be loved and happy and full of peace.
Whenever I feel filled with turmoil like you do, I pray for peace and calmness in my heart. He always answers my prayer.

Remember this:
Whether you believe it is the 'truth' or not, it is not Jehovah's will for anyone to feel pain like you do!

He is a God of love.. he wants you to be surrounded with happiness and kindness. Look at your son, your blessings, your friends. They are there because Jehovah wants you to see how much he loves you.

Your name says it all.... flower. How can anything precious like a flower be bad or a mistake? Human beings are miracles in every sense of the word and not ONE is a mistake. You are precious. Maybe you werent taught that growing up, which accounts for your unhappiness?

I'll be honest with you.... you will find happy and sad people in the Hall and happy and sad people in the world. Just understand that it is up to YOU and you only how you feel.

I was a 'real witness'. I went to meetings regularly, had studies with people, service, everything. I wasnt any more happy then than I am now. Except for some reason I like myself more now. Back then I didnt feel like I was liked for me, but more for the work I did.

I still pray, still love Jehovah, and even if I am not doing things that are 100% right in His eyes, I know He will work with me. I am his child and very precious to Him. You are too. Dont forget it!

Your son needs you more than anyone. You have so much to teach him and show him that others can't. Dont forsake that wonderful gift.

email me anytime flower.. I keep you in my heart and thoughts!

Tera

dungbeetle

you know, ((((flower))))there are some people in the world that dance and prance when they walk, and laugh and sing a lot. Then there are those that don't. God made a whole range of personalities, put them on this earth, and that's the way it is.

Some of us --perhaps you too--have a lower than average baseline mood. Personally, I don't prance and dance or laugh and sing a lot, never have and likely never will (well, maybe at the Siegfried and Roy show) so I'm at the lower end of the mood continuem. So are many people. We have our place in the world.

But I imagine if I was standing in front of you and choking, you would be the first one up to do the Heimlich (sp) maneuver. Just a feeling. The world is going to have to accept us as we are.

So there!!!

www.exmormon.org is a fabulous place. They are great people, and have been helpful to me.

In 1975 a crack team of publishers was sentenced to death by a judicial commiteee. They promptly escaped from the cult and now live life on the run. If you have a problem ... and if you can find them ... maybe you can contact the A--postate Team"

Prisca

Flower,

I was what you’d probably call a “real witness” – I was an elder’s daughter, I attended all the meetings, went witnessing every Saturday, never did anything wrong in the congregation. But I wasn’t happy. Why?

Because the more I did as a witness, the less adequate I felt. The Society was always urging us to “do more” all the time, but it did nothing to make me feel as if I was worthy of God’s undeserved kindness. I never felt I measured up to what was expected of me.

Does this sound familiar?

I started to read the Scriptures more thoroughly. As I read them, I realised how much Jehovah really loves us, even though we are all imperfect. The standards I was trying to live up to were those of men, not God’s. Jehovah wants us to serve him to the best of our abilities, not the abilities of others.

The key to feeling accepted by God is to start accepting yourself.

Realise that you have much to offer your son, as well as to others. You are a kind and sensitive person, and you can be assured that Jehovah loves you as much as anyone else.

A few Scriptures you might find encouraging:

Psalm 103 (the whole chapter)
Psalm 62:8
Prov 3:5,6

Carmel

Hey my little Flower,

Can't you see the Borg has so thoroughly indoctrinated you to believe you are worthless that even if you leave the poison is in your veins. You've gotten some good encouragement from others. Let me add that I too went through the "I'm just a pile of dung" period but gradually got my mind onto other things. Before long I was seeing how much more at ease I was than my family that was still "in" and claiming to have it all toghether.

It may seem trite, but consider seeing a mental health councelor. A good one will have you thinking good of yourself in only a few sessions. You deserve to have a chance to overcome the fecal factor fed to you by the scat machine, (FDS and the boys). We're all here to give a hand and a listening ear.

Warm regards,

carmelite

What does it change really.....

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