What's wrong with being a Jehovah's witness

by dgp 50 Replies latest members adult

• 

  dgp

  Georgiegirl, you wrote:

  dgp...who the hell died and made you God? What right do you and your friend have to unilaterally decide that she would "personally be better off"? How do you know that?

  Think long and hard about whether or not you are really ready and qualified to be responsible for possibly mentally and emotionally destroying someone's world

  Of course I am not God, and of course I realize that the world as many other people know it could be destroyed. That is the whole point of my asking this question. The WTBTS is a lie, that's for sure. But, would it be good, in her personal situation, to plant seeds of doubt? Is it OK to know that people are willing to bleed to death over a lie, and not do anything about it?

  The problem is not so much me or my motivation. There are so many JW's in this thread who can relate to this situation, I'm sure. I tried to ask a general question because I want to do no harm. To her, or the many others who are related to her.

  I suppose me and my friend I can speculate that she's not that happy in the WTBTS. We have reasons to believe that she was raped; she hinted it. Did she not do anything about it because there were not two witnesses to the fact? We don't know. We know that she left and went back, in a guilt trip. We know that she was married at 22, and stayed unhappily married for more than two decades to a man who was intellectually much below her, a really abusive guy with whom she had little in common, except for the religion. We know that she's extremely intelligent, but had little schooling because "education is evil". Of course, no college. Her children had no college, either. And all of this happened because of a bunch of lies. We're also aware that she sees everyone as birdfeed, except on those rare occasions when she allows her non-cultic personality to surface, and becomes the sweetest person ever. But, we DON'T KNOW. And, in this point, I want to be personally responsible: I, MYSELF, don't want to cause any harm. She's already been through a lot. But, what is best?

  Maybe the best option is to let her go her own way, and be there, if possible, if she asks for help. But then, I asked another question in this regard. How many practicing JW's will ask a worldly person for help even if they really need it? How many will work hard for reinstatement? What kind of a future can she expect being a divorced woman in her forties, if she stays in the WTBTS? I have asked these questions before, and the answers have all been negative. It can always be argued that whoever needs help finds help, but we know that is not so easy in the JW world.

  It's frustrating to see a human being waste her life over a bunch of lies. But, apparently, there is nothing I can do. And that is frustrating, too, and doing nothing doesn't feel right.
• 

  garyneal

  I'm late in the game on this one. For a number of years, I did not think anything was wrong with being a witness. In fact, I thought it was a good place to be. That is, until I began studying them in depth. I never experienced a religious organization that diliberately lies and covers up its facts and half quotes the Bible out of context to the extent that the Watchtower Society does. Worse, I never saw an organization that hurts its members to the degree that they hurt them like I have in the Watchtower Society.

  Yes, I have been to fundamentalist churches, but they do not have the luxury to proclaim that only THEY have the truth. They do not have a governing body that ensures that all churches beneath it conform in a consistent manner in spite of culteral differences. So, I was able to detect hypocrisy early and get out quickly. Plus, my parents did not go to church nor did they ever take us kids to any church so I was under no pressure to stay in church. I used to believe that my parents did a terrible thing to us kids by not rearing us in a religion, now I can't thank them enough.

  My wife is a born in and is trying to become a witness very hard. She wants to get baptized (in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit-directed Organization) at the next assembly. She is already turning DUB on me and she is becoming impossible to reason with. I have to teach my daughter to think for herself and provide loving support for her in case she gets hurt by the dubs.

  If I had known then what I know now, I would've worked harder to plant seeds of doubt in my wife's mind when she was not really into her religion. Now she sees me as a tool of Satan who is so trying to get her to stray from da troof. Oh the horror!!!!

  Luckily, for her sake, while she was not fully committed to dub-dom, she started her education in college. If she finishes, she will be a graduate and fully qualified to be a teacher (which she already does under the condition that she gets her degree). I am trying to support and encourage that as that and her teaching job will hopefully teach her tolerance for other cultures and beliefs. I sincerely hope some mis-guided dub will say something VERY STUPID that will cause her to really think and maybe provide some cognitive dissonance.

  One can hope and pray.
• 

  Mad Sweeney

  Whenever she's selecting classes for an upcoming semester, recommend sociology. It opened my eyes to cult tactics and was a very early step for me.
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  dgp

  Thanks for posting, Gary, fellow non-believer. I hope your personal situation ends up well. It may not show, but I can relate to your problems. If there's a way I can help you, I will.

  I've been where you are. The closer and more loving you get, the worse things go, and the more she turns into a hard-core dub, right? It's because deep down she loves you, and only a few minutes a day can she not see you as a tool of Satan.

  I believe that your situation is different, Gary. Your wife is not yet a witness. I see no moral conflict in helping someone stay OUT. It's for their greater good. They don't have that much to lose just yet. I do see a moral conflict in shaking somebody else's world once they are in. Maybe it's only them who can really know whether they would be better out or in.

  If she goes in, no matter what happens, you stay OUT. It's the only way you can help her. You can't help her out of the swamp if you're in the swamp yourself. Imagine what could happen if you became a fake witness and then they disfellowshipped you for any reason. Think of your child. No child deserves to be robbed of life that way.

  If I felt that prayer could help you, I would pray for the three of you, Gary.
• 

  leavingwt

  dgp,

  Here is the article at Free Minds that I referred to earlier. Randy raises some valid points.

  http://www.freeminds.org/blogs/from-the-desk-of-randy/why-some-people-are-better-off-in-cults.html

  -LWT
• 

  hamilcarr

  So do other beliefs. I am more concerned about a society that thinks it's healthy to send thousands of young people to foriegn countries to kill and be killed than about Witnesses who don't want blood transfusions or don't want to go to university.

  Frankly in many ways I see more wrong with society than I see wrong with the Society.

  But I was never allowed to vote for my spiritual representatives. I was subject to their will.

  The problem with JWs is that there's no dialogue, no opposition. There's 10 men in NY and that's it.
• 

  dgp

  Thank you, Leaving.
• 

  slimboyfat

  But I was never allowed to vote for my spiritual representatives. I was subject to their will.

  The problem with JWs is that there's no dialogue, no opposition. There's 10 men in NY and that's it.

  A saving grace of the Watchtower structure is that it is anti-democratic. That way ordinary members can blame perceived shortcomings on the failings of others. In ostensible democracies the pretense is that ordinary people in the system are at fault for not making the right choices and failing to change things, even when the reality is that the system works in such a way as to passify rather than enact the popular will.
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  Quandry

  You raise some good points.

  I can only say for myself, I joined JWs because I thought they taught "the truth." I would rather be told the truth than be told lies, even if it hurts at the time. Like I said, that's just me.
• 

  dgp

  Thank you, Quandry.