by JerkhovahsWitless 52 Replies latest jw friends
Thanks everyone for digging up old bad feelings and sharing your experiences with me.
I thought I'd be sharing this info with my friend tonight, but it turns out he's sick and went to bed early. I'll be talking to him tomorrow instead.
If anyone else wants to post, there's still time
Sacdfan
jaguarbass - you say your wife envied you when you left the WTS. What if she didn't envy you? What if she pitied you? What if she put pressure on you every day to 'come back to Jehovah'? What if every week she asked 'Are you coming to the meetings or what?' and this pressure went on day in, day out, year in, year out. What if she was totally and absolutely convinced she had 'the truth' and you were going to die at the big A if she didn't 'win you back'?What if she never left, not ever?
If one half of the marriage leaves the WTS and the other one limps along reluctantly, wishing they could leave too, that's fine and they may eventually come out. If one half leaves the WTS but the other half is utterly brainwashed - so brainwashed that they eat, sleep, live and breathe WT teachings, it is very difficult for the one on the outside, especially if most of their friends are JWs. If you can see someone you love being manipulated and used by a mind-controlling organisation, it isn't easy to leave them. But it isn't easy to stay either - it's a sort of horrible, foggy limbo.
Never get involved with a JW unless you are willing to become a totally commited JW too - that's my advice to anyone contemplating marriage to a JW if they want to stay sane!
I was born in the tower. So I was doomed to marry a JW.
If she didnt envy me and she never left the tower, I can only guess what would have happened.
While she was in and I was out. I rode my motorcycle a lot. I went to AA meetings for 7 years
and experienced bliss and nirvana. Also I went to differnt churches and enjoyed it.
We both experienced lucidly the 1975 debacle. She just couldnt figure out how to get out without
getting in trouble with her family.
Same with me, I didnt get out till 83, 8 years after the big lie. It just took her longer to figure outhow to get out.
My brothers and sisters and law are still stuck in the tower. Walking talking zombies with their
heads up their hineys.
That wasnt my fate.
Not that my fate was a whole lot better. Just different.
And I am as damaged or more than they for my time in the tower 31 years.
Fortunately I didnt kill anybody, but they did suck the life and potential out of me and gave me a life of
regret and anger.
In dealing with my unhappiness and anger, i have come to find that believing in God is a key to happiness.
And if your too smart to believe in God, you have to be smart enough to delude yourself into believeing
in God, or you have to suffer.
Anyways marriage wise things worked out for me. 38 years we dont fight, We go out to dinner once or twice a week, we take rides, walk on the beach and enjoy each others company.
Had my wife stayed a JW. I imagine things would have been fine, because growing up a JW I learned how to be an unbelieveing mate.
I saw lots of unbelieving husbands, even an unbelieving wife or 2.
As you get older life goes on even after the thrill of living is gone.
You just have to live one day at a time and deal with what ever life hands you.
Because we dont know, I've seen lots of people get sick and die. Lots of people get divorced,
People get maimed and crippled. People get killed. But I'm still standing and ticking.
I was happily married for 7 years after I joined the Jehovah's Witnesses to be with my wife. We did everything by the book. Before we could date, I studied the Knowledge Book, met with the elders, handled the microphone duties, regular field service and meetings and got baptized in 1999. Asked her father for permission to date his daughter (her whole family was JW), her younger brother was our chaperone on our dates, she stayed a virgin until our wedding night ... we did everything as a big JW family (sat together during the District and Circuit Assemblies) too.
Then seven years later, I started researching the history of the organization and things weren't as clean as I was taught. Showed some interesting facts to my JW wife and she called her JW brother to come over and reason with me. We stayed up all night looking at the history of false prophecies and unscriptural doctrines. Neither of us budged. He took the pages and said he'd look into it (never heard back from him since that day). I disassociated, but my wife remained in and continued to go to meetings. After awhile, she lost respect and fell out of love with me ... we divorced a year later.
... but something happened, she started thinking on her own ... began to read Crisis of Conscience. She submitted a letter of disassociation and hasn't looked back. Her life is much happier now and we remain as friends.
"After awhile, she lost respect and fell out of love with me ... we divorced a year later.
... but something happened, she started thinking on her own ... began to read Crisis of Conscience. She submitted a letter of disassociation and hasn't looked back. Her life is much happier now and we remain as friends."
I felt sacolton was extremely mean-spirited and confrontational. I held on to what I thought was "the truth" for as long as I could. I became very defensive and I did lose repect for the way he handled it. I know now that his intentions were honorable...he only wanted me to see what he could see, but the way he went about it was detrimental to the marriage. I felt isolated and alone. I eventually became inactive because I was tired of having tension in the marriage. As I became inactive, I had a rebellious attitude and thought well if I'm not going to be a witness anymore, then I don't have to be moral anymore and I can do whatever the f*ck I want...therefore I looked for love elsewhere. I'm not proud of what I did. I've definitely learned from my mistakes. There are times when I wish I could go back in time and address my unhappy marriage in an appropriate manner with counseling and if things wouldn't work out, then end the marriage in an honorable way. My actions caused ALOT of hurt to ALOT of people. All I can do is try to be the best person I can be from now on.
I am definitely happier since I've left the organization. The more I am away and research on this site, the more I see what a cult it is. I balk at some of the stuff I used to believe...haha. I am glad that sacolton and I are able to remain friends.
Teetering......
My wife divorced me and won't let me talk to my kids.
The WT doesn't break up marriages? The fuck they don't.
yippy, I know how much you wanted your pet monkey in Paradise Earth. You're right, if I seemed mean-spirited - it was only because I didn't know how to handle the situation, but I never kept you from going to meetings. I just wanted us both out and to be happy. I'm just glad you are free now ... it came with a very hefty price.
By the way, you don't really look anything like your avatar picture. LOL!
"I know how much you wanted your pet monkey in Paradise Earth"
Who's to say this won't still happen? You just don't need to worship an antitypical slave class remnant to ensure you get there.
"MAY" marry a JW???? It's NOT too late! Tell him/her to RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! {Or, as in "Monty Python and the HOly Grail"... "RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!}
Zid
Yeah, that was my fantasy - to live in paradise with a pet monkey. Maybe Agonus is right and it'll still happen. Maybe not. All I know for sure is that I have the HERE AND NOW so I'm taking the opportunity to live life to the fullest extent possible and to be happy.
