Does anyone here ever feel that they don't fit in

cantleave

You no longer fit in with the JW's and aren't yet accepted by those outside either?

yes it took a while , but i was not born in so it was much easier for me , i eventually did fit in but workmates dont tell me rude jokes the way they do eachother , and someone told me that im considered a bit prudey and "innocent" but well liked , which im happy with ! dont be afraid to be "different"its better than being fake x

only me

Story of my life.

Never really fit in with the Witnesses, don't really fit anywhere now.

inbetween

exactly know what you mean, to a point at least.

I observe some people at work or in neighborhood, end even though most of them are just decent normal people, sometimes their perceived purpose in life seems too shallow,

let me explain: even when you realize the WTS is a big fraud, it gave life a "spiritual" dimension, shielding from a mere materialistic view of life, which is not completely satisfying.

(however this may often just be from the perspective of a JW, when you barley get the chance to really get to know people outsied of the "truth")

additionally when you live as an outsider for decades, it is hard to change in a short time to be fully integrated in society.

on the other hand, when you are with witnesses, even if many are close friends, when they start talking cultish, it seems weird for those of the "conscious class", and you may feel as not fitting in either.

Funny, i realise that I was never so full of this stuff, like prasing Jah for every positive thing that occurs in your life and blaming the devil for anything negative. Now it even strikes me more odd than before when I hear stuff like that.

Yep, I completely understand this feeling....

blondie

cantleave, specifically why do you feel those on the outside don't accept you? There are almost 7 billion people who are not jws, how many live in your area, have you interacted with how many?

zoiks

I know what you mean. I'm fortunate to live and work in an area where people are generally open-minded and friendly, with lots of interesting things to be involved in. It's definitely a process, though. Just trying to do simple things like meet the parents of our children's school friends seems like a small victory!

mouthy

I feel like that even now after years out of the WT .
That is why I can "hide" comfortably with you lot.LOL
I seem to scare folks of, because all I want to do is
make sure no one gets into any cult.
I ran that support group for over 21 years for ex JWs.
Most still keep in touch,but unfortunatly many think I
have all the answers...they call me when they are in trouble,stress,
needy,etc. So it make me feel like a hypocrite,because I know
nothing ,,,,EXCEPT!!!! I rely on Christ...& of course many of you
think that is a cop-out...but I do.I really dont know what I would do
without my faith...especially NOW!
The new place I am moving seems to have "things" going on daily.
I am resigned NOT to talk about religion to any..ANY RELIGION,
In fact I dont think I will reveal where or what I was...So I know I wont fit in
as they have church services,hymn sings,& differant churches each week.my 2 cents Mouthy

goldensky

Good question, Cantleave.

When I was in, only two worlds existed in my mind: witnesses and non-witnesses. But a third group was born when I came across these websites, a group with which I felt immediately identified, all of you guys.

Having spent my whole life in an exclusive world of witnesses, and having fitted in to perfection among them, you are now the only people I fit in 100% with. Your company is comforting and enjoyable. And the variety and richness in this group teaches me endlessly.

In my interactions with non-witnesses now, I can't help feeling very different still. They attract me in the sense that I find them strange and interesting. A bit as if I were seeing a new and amazing creature I had never noticed before although they were always right by my side. I ask them many questions the moment they give me the opportunity, and I've caught myself looking at them in amazement at their way of thinking. They seem to like me, though, but I'm pretty sure they find me as funny and different as I find them. We amuse one another I suppose.

But you are the only ones the nuances of whose language I fully understand. And you understand me...

Terry

It is YOUR VALUE SYSTEM that makes you not fit in.

We are given the values that are IDEALS in a non-ideal world.

I'm not comfortable around heavy drinkers or smokers no matter how wonderful they may be as a person.

I'm not comfortable around people who sprinkle swear words into their conversation.

I'm not comfortable around people who use their body for play ground equipment.

I'm sort of an almost-prude.

On the other hand...

I want to puke when I'm around Jeezus people.

I hate "Have a blessed day!"

I can't bear happy talk about faith, prayer, blessings and miracles. I want to shake them and say "Wake Up!"

On the other hand...

I don't really like the company of cynical people who are rabid ideologues who talk Politics with great opprobrium.

I DON'T FIT IN!!

Now, the only way somebody like me can FIT IT is with other people who have gone through the same value-shaping cultdom I've experienced.

I might be comfortable there. Except there are only VIRTUAL gather places for my sort and not ACTUAL ones.

There are no ANTI-Kingdom Halls where you show up and refuse to sing songs or give talks.

Know what I mean?

Jim_TX

I don't fit in... but I've never 'fit in' - even as a JW.

I walk to the beat of a different drummer. Not many know the beat - if any.

Even as a lad, if one could get me to talk - I would talk about things that no one understood. They would eventually back away... slowly.

Now days, it's pretty much the same. I don't have any close 'guy friends' that I can hang out with and talk to... so I write in my notebooks.

If anyone asks me questions... I usually give simplistic answers - something that they would understand. If I were to ever tell them what I was really up to - their eyes would just glaze over and they would back away... slowly.

So... no. I don't 'fit in'.

Never have... never will.

Regards,

Jim TX