Does anyone here ever feel that they don't fit in (page 2)

Heartbreaker

I didn't really fit in very well in the witnesses, always on the edges of what was going on, never really in the middle. Had few friends that I would consider close, felt like a third wheel. Now that I'm out, I have a few people I am trying to draw closer to, but I'm running into two problems here.

1) I don't really know if I WANT close friends, in that I would have to let people in, expose myself and my past, and I just don't want to deal with that yet

2)Once again penetrating into an already established circle of friends, feeling like the outside perimeter person again. I just don't think I can handle it.

I leave myself open and friendly, accept invites and go with the flow. Inside I'm afraid I will only have my husband and children, and well children leave.

Mad Sweeney

Fitting in is overrated. Just be you and some folks will like you and others won't. That's how the human race works.

Meet enough people and you'll find some who share your interests. You may even meet them online first as part of a bulletin board of interest, whether it's related to cars, sports, religion, or whatever, and then meet them in real life at some sort of live event.

I've always been a loner type but fading is a lot harder on my wife, who's a people person.

ninja

I'm probably the loneliest guy to ever have held a bottle of strongbow

WalkTall

I am still in, doing the slow fade, but I am running into the same difficulites that some have expressed here. I am trying to establish some frienships outside the organization, however, I feel there is still a barrier there. So far, none of the few I've come to know smoke or swear, and I realize that in many ways they are no different than JW's, trying to raise their children to be decent human beings, or others learning to adjust to life as a retiree, worrying about their health or the rising costs of living. However, sometimes the conversations seem stilted because they will talk about the holidays, birthday celebrations, politics, or gambling, and I start feeling like a fish out of water. I can't add to the conversation in any way. I have mentioned in passing to many of them that I am a JW, and contrary to what they say at the KH, there has been no negative reaction on that front. Most have no idea what we believe; none of them even knew we don't celebrate the holidays or birthdays. Frankly, they don't seem to care what religious denomination I belong to. Of course, right now these are casual friendships. It's weird, though, because I don't quite feel comfortable around them, and as some have already mentioned, I know I don't belong in the Witness world of wacky thinking either. It is a real worry and concern that I have, that maybe I will never fit back into society, that something inside me has been unalterably changed.

Girlie

Yes. However, I've learned to enjoy those who are accepting of me and not fret over those who don't. You'll discover that there are some folks not worth the time to invest into. It's a vast world and there is much to do.

EmptyInside

No, I never felt I really fit in anywhere. But, I think if you got one or two close friends, you're doing pretty well.

iknowall558

Craig....good to see you've moved on from the White Lightning.... You are welcome to live it up with all us starting from now. Having glass of wine then going to a pub probably.....Greetings from Di and SP. ; 0

mrsjones5

Honestly, does anyone ever really fit in? I know folks on the inside and the outside who are just trying to fit in where they're at. If you look real close everyone on the planet is trying to fit in with some group (with a few that are actively not trying but secretly that's also trying to fit in). Hell, this moring I was trying to fit in to my tight pair of jeans..*snicker* jk That's life.

undercover

You no longer fit in with the JW's and aren't yet accepted by those outside either?

I know what you mean. I felt like I didn't fit in with the JWs. When I became inactive and started joining the real world, it was hard to fit in there as well.

All I can say though is that it gets better with time. At first it was difficult trying to be 'normal' in a world that was foreign to me, but over time as I got used to being me, then I felt more comfortable in any setting I was in. That includes even being around JWs.

I no longer have to fit into some pre-conceived notion of what I should be. I've also figured out that I don't have to pretend to be 'worldly' just to be 'normal'. I've figured out what I like, what I want, where I'm going, who I am. So now, no matter what situation I'm in, I feel much more comfortable. If I try something new and don't like it, then I know that that scene is not for me...I'll try some other scene.

Apparently it's working. Workmates that knew me as a JW have commented on my change for the good. Some friends I've made since leaving were shocked to learn just how religious I once was. They couldn't believe I used to be a JW and knocked on doors. It was embarrassing at the time trying to explain it to them, but I later figured out that their shock meant I had really left it behind and that I was now a different person, a person that I'm comfortable with.

Married to the Mob

Cantleave

Its a bit like moving to a new town or country where you don't really know anyone. It can be a bit scary to start with and it takes time.

Join a club or a group, take up a hobby, sport or activity. Mine are sailing, scuba diving, tennis and squash. We also do lots with the greyhound adoption group. If it is something your kids and nugget can do too then all the better.

There will always be people you don't fit in with and other that you don't.

There will be some people you instantly bond with and others it takes a long time.

You have the added issue of removing the "borg chip", and re-aligning your core values and beliefs.

The most important thing is to be yourself.

MTTM

Does anyone here ever feel that they don't fit in

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