Does anyone here ever feel that they don't fit in (page 3)

nancy drew

terry, your list is exactly right. we have all been changed by our experience in a very unique way and it's hard to fit in and we don't want an anti kingdom hall. unusual people are sprinkled thru out history and have made their way forward and continued to learn. we just keep collecting the puzzle pieces and try putting them together trying to make sense of life. True searchers don't often have alot of friends

Gayle

Rule #1 - Fit into yourself. Find 'your' interests, 'your' joy. Read books, watch movies, do hobbies. But also, try to be interested, at least a bit, in all things, even when other acquaintances go on about their joy, their interests, tho it may not be your specific interest, try.

(I realized later, after being a JW, that I was the one that made myself friendly, interested in others, happy. I seeked the fun ones, interesting ones there. Eventually, later, 'happy' became harder in the JW world, obviously, since now I am here. Eventually, I realized 'I' was the one that made myself happy there in JWdom. I realized finally, if I was able to make myself happy in an extremely negative cult, then I could be happy anywhere else, for the most part.)

#2 point. The Watchtower taught only a fascade, that there in JWdom, you have thousands and thousands of "brothers and sisters." That is ridiculous and in any deep level only a lie! If you have true friends, as many as you have fingers on one hand (3-5) then you are blessed. Those are the ones that love you through 'the good, the bad, and the ugly.' Again, are you one to be there for at least a few that way also? What goes around, comes around that way usually at some point.

After that inner circle of good handful of friends, everyone else that are friends or acquaintance in a manner of degrees. Many friendships come and go because due to moves and changes of circumstances. I can 'fit' in with most that are parents (have many discussions), most that are grandparents (share their joys). I understand that most people cannot relate to having been in a cult. Can't hold that against them.

Having grown up or spent a lot of your life in a cult is a unique experience. I didn't want to talk about it with anyone for along time on leaving JWs. But eventually, I started to, some. People try to undertand but we can't hold that against them. Lucky them. However, I do find an attachment with many ex-JWs. Now, I find being part of a cult awareness/support group somewhat of a fulfillment also.

Finally-Free

That's the downside of being a truly independent thinker. Most people that I've met, both in and out of the cult, prefer the company of people who will agree with them all the time, or at least pretend to. When I was a young, spineless, closed mouthed person I had more "friends" than I could count. They were always available, provided I was willing to go along with whatever they wanted. I was always the one who had to compromise, because no one else ever would.

Now I don't fit in anywhere. Either that or no one fits in with me. Whatever. I've reached the stage where I'm willing to live without "friends" who accept me only when I'm willing to make compromises but are unwilling to do the same with me.

W

Hortenzie

I'm fine now but I never felt like a fit among JWs - They (most of them) were so annoingly "perfect" and uniform. I like people with personality.

White Dove

Yes, I feel like I don't fit in. Dating, which is very important to a lot of people is impossible because no one asks me out except for the gross ones (poor hygiene and rotten black teeth) and the good ones always say "no" to my request of a date. I'm sure it's not me, but I'm not sure why they say no and no good ones ask me out. No, I don't fit in.

FreudianSlip

I fit in with the Witnesses. I felt safe and comfortable. Now, I feel like I don't fit into my own body. I haven't figured myself out. Others seem to accept me, but I confuse myself daily.

WalkTall

Gayle, I love that thought - ifI was able to make myself happy in an extremely negative cult, then I could be happy anywhere else, for the most part.

We forget it's to our credit that we managed, and some of us still do, to keep our sanity, and remain relatively hopeful and happy, despite the negativity of cult living. Thanks for the reminder.

cantleave

Wow!!! I post a question during my lunch break, just before going back to work. When I come home 5 hrs later and the responses are into the 2nd page.

Thank you all for your comments. Like many of you have said time is a big factor here but there also needs to be some proactivity on my part.

I think Terry has hit it spot on. Although I realise the JW-cult is a fabrication of lies and deciet and the followers are duped, the moral principles instilled in me since the day i was born have an affect in the way I interact with people, this makes a little bit wierd and hard to engage with. Also our neighbours do not know that we are no longer witnesses so don't include in activities that we would have refused to take part in less than a year ago.

I think also I am still a little obssessed with the JW thing. I can undertsand where mouthy is coming from, I would love to get people out or stop them them from being recruited in the first place.

Re-kindling a friendship with my DF'd best friend is fantastic but I need to "widen out" in my friendships within the community (sorry I had to get that JW expression in)

So my conclusion is; it is indeed me that needs to change and I need to look for opportunities to get involved with community projects and events.

OUTLAW

Move to Canada..Have a Beer..

You`ll fit in..

............................. ...OUTLAW

ninja

hey Lor

thanks for the invite.........but I'm only lonely....not suicidal.....he he..............plus I had to work till just after 9

enjoy yer bevvy and tell the rest of the harpies I said hello........

yer mate....da ninja

Does anyone here ever feel that they don't fit in

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