by Terry 46 Replies latest jw friends
Terry..
I think you may have to apologise for making a private conversation,Public..
I mean really Frigg`in Public..
On the internet..On a site thats considered apostate..With thousands of readers..
LOL!!..
I really don`t think you meant to cause harm,but you did..
Perhaps you can salvage your friendship,with an apology..
..................................OUTLAW
what? the river is brown and chunky and i dont have a paddle?
best you can do is write a letter of apology for the alleged mistake you have been made aware of, put your contact information on it, and hope you get a phone call.
The thing is you don't know the full impact your post may have had or the deapth of the trouble he has got into as a result. You don't know who discovered it and the impact on his family. It may have been that he thought your conversations were confidential and expected you to be respectful of his position and maintain the level of confidentialiity. He may have had to lie about the posts to defend his standing in the congregation.
It is hard because the forum is a useful sounding board and support network. Sometimes we reveal things that we wouldn't otherwise. But all posts are visible. I remember reading all my husbands old posts once I joined the board. I felt guilty because it was a bit like reading someones diary but as anybody on the board could see them I did feel it was permissable and he was in the room when I read them. No one likes people talking about them behind their back.
I would send a sympathy card and acknowledge that you have hurt him by posting information that he may have believed was private. Say you would like the opportunity to make amends and hope he can find it in his heart to forgive you. Depending on the fall out from your previous posts it may take him awhile espeacially if he lost credibility with his own children.
My guess is that he is not in denial but rather that he was forced to claim that you typed lies about him in order to defend himself. He's avoiding you because either he suspects that you know he lied about your posts and feels guilty or because the borg re-assimilated him fully and he feels guilty for ever talking with you in the first place.
He probably feels guilty for going against 'Jehovah's arrangement' and associating with you, a known apostate.
It is typical behavior of people who are heavily indoctrinated in a cult.
Tell us more about him.
Preface everything with "if I recall correctly" or "as I remember it," or "this is how I remember it" so he can't sue you for libel.
Now he has slandered you by telling others you are a liar. Truth is the ultimate defense, of course.
Did you know your friend was a coward before this happened?
He has a morally superior attitude toward people, that's for sure.
He has told me he "knows how to play the game" and I think we all know what that might mean.
I know some shady things about his personal life I've never brought up to him.
Had I WANTED to get him in trouble it would have been a whole lot easier than this.
I suppose there is nothing worse you can do to another person than make public their duplicty.
I can't help but suspect ABOUT MYSELF that I'm bitter that he has always known how to maintain his good relationship with
all the friends I grew up with while doing his thing surreptitiously. I'm a curse and he's a blessing. That sort of thing. If that is true (and why would I suspect this of myself if it weren't) then I should be happy he's having to backpaddle and deny actual true statements.
After I wrote that sentence I had an epiphany.
I'm the one who went to prison for my faith. I was tested. He never has been. This may well be his first test of personal integrity.
How does he react to pressure? He lies! Very interesting.
We should have remained friends our whole life long. But, this stupid religion and blind faith has prevented that.
Well, I am sick of being the Bad Guy.
Let him slow roast for awhile. He can lie all he wants to. Somewhere in his heart of hearts the truth (with a small "t" ) is lurking.
May it haunt him.
terry....it will all die down in time........don't beat yourself up
we've all done something that makes us cringe........hang in there mate
Well, one way to look at it is that you don't know for sure it was your internet blogs that did it. It might just be the usual pressure from the JWs.
Didn't you say that he had cooled off to you quite some time back, maybe before the posts - or did I get that wrong?
I had a very good JW friend - ex-elder who faded; knew all about everything that was wrong, and went back because he missed his friends. He shuns me now because the JWs got all over him about talking to me.
It just happens with this bunch. I would guess that apology is likely to do no one any service, unless just for your own peace of mind.
James
Didn't you say that he had cooled off to you quite some time back, maybe before the posts - or did I get that wrong?
Yeah, it is probably the Freeminds site where "I had lunch with an Active JW today" is posted.
I just re-read it awhile ago and it is really loaded with too many personal details about him and his family to NOT be able to identify him.
So, subconsciously I definitely think I was ambivalent about protecting him.
He infuriates you when you talk to him because he is so morally superior sounding. He never yields an inch and never remembers the previous conversation you had. He has a Recycle Bin in his head and he simply "deletes" after talking to you.
Ninja?
You feeling OK?
