I was raised by a "strong" JW single mother. She was very very strict but I loved her then and always will. After the death of my mother I waivered back and forth with my spirituality only because this was my first chance of "freedom" and being in the world to do things that I never really got to do. Ended up disfellowshipped me and my husband for fornicating before we were married. We worked to "come back" and after about 1 1/2 we were back inactive. Since then I have battled with my decision to go back or just make the best of my life apart from the friends. This is all I have ever really know, so to be apart from it completely is scary for me. But at the same time I have lost the desire to really be apart of it all. I still go to Sunday meetings once or twice a month and I try to make at least a day or two of the Conventions and special events etc. but I do not comment, go in service or associate with the friends because I feel like I really don't belong. But when I really sit and think about officially leaving I feel like I mite be opening myself up to more problems since we are taught that Jehovah will take his spirit away from us if we leave him. I am just on the fence. I don't know which way I want to go. Has anyone else felt like that before? Even some of the discussions on this site make me wonder if I should really just stay with them because I feel bad about some of the negative comments. Is there anyone on here that does not "hate" the JW faith but they just feel that there is life beyond the organization, because that’s where I am. I don't want to speak negatively about it, but at the same time I don't really want to be apart either. I guess that just because I want to do things that they don't except.
Sitting on the Fence....to believe or not to believe, that is my dilemma.
by tootie 30 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
leavingwt
Do you hate lies?
-
cofty
Hi tootie, welcome.
Many members of the forum are rightly angry about the way membership of the Watchtower has affected their lives. Others are past the stage of having any emotions about it at all. For me the only thing that matters is what is objectively true.
The organisation has made made far too many major mistakes to be the chosen by god in the way they claim. Why would god allow his people to misunderstand what he said about blood resulting in countless premature deaths? Why would god's "channel" have a long history of failed predictions regarding the time of the end? Why is it that first Russell and then Rutherford was apparently the "faithful slave" and yet today hardly a single thing that they taught is still official teaching? The scandals and cover-ups are well documented.
If you go back you will have many conditional friendships; every one of them will drop you if you leave. Is that the kind of provisional life you want?
There is life and freedom outside the organisation. If that is what you choose you will likely find the transition painful but few if any regret it in the longer term. Only you can judge what is best for you.
-
tootie
Yes, I hate to lie. That’s why I have a problem being "in the mix" with the JW's but I don't really believe as many of you do on here that they are the Devil and a cult. I mean, sometimes I wonder, but I guess I'm not that far out yet that I have started to hate them are believe it is a lie. I just feel that maybe they are not the only ones with the "key" to the truth....that’s all. I still believe that there are legitimately still some loving and sincere people within the organization who really believe this is the truth and are trying to be good Christians. I just don't think they are the only ones in the world with the knowledge and insight. That’s all.
-
cofty
Yes there are many loving and sincere individuals in the organisation, but that's not the point really. There are loving and sincere individuals in almost every group you could mention.
The real issue you have to face up to is that the organisation demand total exclusivity. According to the official teaching only jws have the "truth" and every other religion is under Satan's control. Every individual who is not a baptised active JW will be destroyed at armageddon. Can you suppress your more enlightened understanding of life and conform to the non-negotiable demands of the borg?
-
leavingwt
Please don't get hung up on the word, 'cult'. What's important -- and very real -- is that WT would like to strip you of your liberty and freedom of mind. They want to control your emotions, behavior, beliefs, etc. They want you to be obedient, no matter what is in your own heart.
If you have not done so, you will most likely enjoy reading these two books. They were very helpful to me.
Crisis of Conscience
http://www.commentarypress.com/Publication/English.html
Combatting Cult Mind Control
http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0892813113/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used
-LWT
-
OnTheWayOut
Hey, don't confuse hate for the Watchtower with hate for JW's. The vast majority here will agree that there are mostly genuine sincere people in the religion. It's the way it has come to be ruled that makes it a dangerous mind-control cult. It's the way that the doctrine is all wrong yet enforced upon the people in order to perpetuate the organization that makes it LIES LIES LIES. Oh, you will hear some anger at some elders and some holier-than-thou pioneers spouted on here, but we generally agree that the organization forces that attitude into most of them, and that then there are assholes everywhere but not just because they are in a religion.
As you learn further, you might discover that the Watchtower organization never got anything right- NEVER. That's the part you might be struggling with as you read us.
-
Weeping
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I would think very carefully before making any decision. There are some faults within the organisation but it's minor compared to the satanism and rampant drug use in the world. Are you married? If not finding a decent mate amongst the world is nearly impossible. Wife swapping and casual sex are the norm these days. It's depressing.
-
Mickey mouse
Wife swapping and casual sex are the norm these days.
Especially in one local congregation which will remain nameless.
-
tootie
Okkkkkkk.....
@ Cofty that is exactly the part about the organization that I have been struggling with for YEARS now. Up until recently when I started visiting other churches and having indept convo's with coworkers who are really into their churches, I never even knew that "worldly" people believe and knew the bible as I had been taught all my life. I thought what they said was real, that only the JW organization has the truth. I believe they have the truth, what they believe makes a lot of sense compared to some of the crap I have ran across in talking to other people. but I do not belive that they hold a monopoly on it.
And I'm new to these type sites, so please don't laugh at me...what is the BORG? :-)