Funniest Talk or Weird Things That Happened In Your Hall.

by Nephilim 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Confucious

  LMAO on some of these comments.

  Dissed - Hahahha... Twilight Zone.

  I remember on Sunday afternoon. It was seriously like 90 degrees out that the KH air conditioning went out.

  And we were doing the meeting and old people were passing out.

  And people were carrying them out to the back. Reminds me of that Monty Python movie - "Bring out Yer Dead... Bring out Yer Dead."

  So the Bro is doing the Watchtower and old people were passing out left and right.

  But it was like... what is the Bro going to do?

  It's like we're reading a Watchtower on our brothers suffering through concentration camps and we can't take a little no air conditioning?

  It was just bizarre - I'm glad no one died.
• 

  cofty

  Our PO was on the platform one Thursday evening in full-on preaching mode when his wife got up out her seat. As she was walking down the aisle towards the back of the hall she collapsed and was out cold. He never missed a beat, just carried right on with his talk while everybody else rushed around to look after her. What a weird man!
• 

  sacolton

  We once had a Spanish speaker who had a very heavy accent. When he would say "Jehovah's divine blessings" it came out sounding "Jehovah's divine breastings". I had a really hard time trying not to laugh.
• 

  WTWizard

  The biggest thing we have had were comments that rambled on. There were a few "sisters", mostly, that would give 5-minute discourses tying every personal thing into every paragraph they got called on for. Not intelligent lengthy comments--rambling ones. And there were quite a few "wrong song" snafus.

  Possibly the biggest potential disaster was caused by a rule that the microphones were to be handled pointing down when not in use. Their stupid reason was that it could cause feedback--hardly likely unless you got it very close to the speakers. What could have happened was to have the microphone hit the back of a chair. Pointed up, it would make a little thump. Pointed down, it would make a big thump and possibly ruin the microphone and/or the system. Plus, the microphones would not have even a chance of falling out without busting the boom if pointed up. A microphone pointed down could fall out of the holder (I have seen that happen before), and could hit the floor with a nice loud thump. I never obeyed that rule--and simply told them that, if I point the microphone down and it falls out and gets busted, that would be $60 or 70 out of the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund to get another one--which I would not be coming up with.
• 

  dissed

  WTWizzard

  You just reminded me of a good mic story.

  This was at a KH I moved away from. But a bro called me after his WT meeting to share something so funny, he just had to tell me. It was a very small, southern, backwoods, country KH, but the CO insisted they get mics, so they did.

  During the first meeting with the mics, one bro with the mic, (was also the sound operator) went into the bathroom to pee while the paragraph was being read. No one turned off the mic, and you could tell he held the mic down, for great sound pik up. He said you could clearly hear as he was unzipping his pants, then the peeing echoing off the urinal. What made it even better was he was humming and singing the kingdom melody, but not knowing all the words. "Oh how good to see the brothers, la dee da dee dee..."

  The WT conductor told me he looked at the mic bros wife. She had both hands over her face and refused to take them away. Now with this KH, you could see the bathroom doors from the main room, so everyone turned to watch him come out when finished. He looked started to see them looking at him, then looked down at the mic and mouthed "Ah s**t!" and turned beet red.

  The WT conductor said he was laughing so hard, he couldn't read the question at first.

  Seeing as this was my former Bible study, I called him that afternoon, to consol him. (yeah right!)

  He was out hunting I think, but his wife talked to me and said she was so embarrassed, that she would NEVER forgive him. "He could cheat on her and she could forgive him for that, but not this. She could never live this down" At least she kept her sense of humor.
• 

  betheldumbass

  One time. This Brother got up to give a #2 talk, and when he got on stage he said. I can't do this tonight. That baby in my wife arms is not mine. It HIS. and pointed to a Pioneer Bro who was doing his wife, and he found out about it. They ended the meeting right then. The Pio Bro and the Sister got married and just publicly reproved.
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  betheldumbass
• 

  3rdgen

  Dissed, That is truely the funniest story EVER!!!

  Betheldumbass, WOW wow wow!!!
• 

  finally awake

  One time in the old KH there was a mouse running across the platform, up the drapes, and across the top behind the speaker. I don't remember where the mouse ended up. Another time, a woodchuck or something was living under the hall,, and it got in a scuffle with another critter during meeting. We could hear them fighting and banging up against the floorboards.
• 

  Azazel

  I remember with fondness a WT study back in early 90's.

  One of my friends was the WT conductor and another mate was the assigned reader. All was going well in the study.

  (My friend really made the WT studies bearable - i suppose a 5 star chef can make shit look interesting too!)

  Anyway a young sister 13-14 put her hand up and gave an answer. In her answer she refered to the 1st century uncircumcised Genitals! My friend just roared with laughter and within seconds the whole congregation 100+ were weeping with laughter.He tried to get back to topic but each time he started he would laugh again.He was actually crying with laughter( the poor young sister put her head down and i dont think she answered again for a few years.) Finally everyone stopped laughing and my friend was to read the next paragraph and it mentioned again uncircumcised gentiles ,my friend reading just started to chuckle and it rippled thru the audience again. My friend the WT conductor said he was making an executive decision that the reader can sit back in the audience as it would be impossible to continue otherwise.Good times.

  A time to laugh and a time to weep.

  I really miss those friends that view me as dead now.................

  Az