Well put, Undercover. Lots of faders, inactive, irregular, DF'd, and "dead weight." By "dead weight" I mean those who make 50-80% of the meetings, go out in service occasionally, don't reach out, and barely contribute financially (if at all). They're just taking up seats at the KH. Often, they're 2nd/3rd generation JWs. Not all of these folks have figured out the scam yet, but some have...and others are getting there.
Faders are indeed a large army...
by undercover 52 Replies latest jw friends
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Mad Sweeney
The 'dead weight' is becoming overwhelming. They're practically begging anyone with male anatomy to 'reach out' now, while more and more are taking the opposite move and stepping down. Even if the 'dead weight' guys do step up, they're generally barely qualified to work the CD player and mic amplifier, let alone keep track of the thousands of policies an elder has to enforce.
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choosing life
I had dinner with a dub friend a few weeks ago. I had only seen her a few times in the past couple of years. I tried to keep the conversation on everyday things, kids, jobs, husbands, etc. It worked pretty well, but there was that tension there all the time.
I was hoping she might be interested in why I left or had some doubts of her own. Nope. She steered the conversation to natural disasters and I knew where we were headed. I felt badly because I really wanted to tell her so many things, but just couldn't. She now thinks I will go back to the meetings because we had dinner together.
Fading is great in some ways, but it forces you to keep your mouth shut when you want to honestly discuss things. I don't know if the society likes it or considers it a threat. I still can't believe I am in the position where revealing my true feelings would cause me to lose contact with my children. How did I let myself get here?
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blondie
When my husband was still an elder about 9 years ago, the CO told them that the WTS said they were losing 25% of the elders every year (of course some of that may have been by death but he was specific and saying the ones that were "missing" were still alive). We know quite a few ex-elders (not removed) will never "reach out" to be elders despite any pressure; and so far they have kept true to that statement for ten years.
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wobble
Dear Undercover,
I am sure there will be a huge push before long to re-activate as many as possible, if it works it has the effect of re-assuring those who are in :
"look, he has tried the "World" and found it is better to come back to the truth " Barf.
As I was never an Elder, how long before they do remove your card, if ever, are you never off the radar as a fader ? Anyone ?
love
Wobble
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undercover
Good points about the "dead weighters"...
I've been out awhile so I hadn't really seen this new phenomenon too much but I've heard of it from various sources. They're losing the attention of even those that bother to come as well...
Fading is great in some ways, but it forces you to keep your mouth shut when you want to honestly discuss things. I don't know if the society likes it or considers it a threat. I still can't believe I am in the position where revealing my true feelings would cause me to lose contact with my children.
I know that feeling well. It's tough have to tippy-toe around certain subjects that you shouldn't have to.
How did I let myself get here?
Because you care enough about your family to try to balance your freedom with trying to help them find that same freedom. It doesn't work for everyone...some people have to make a completely free break from that scene but others can find a way to balance it.
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snowbird
Oh, one other thing!
My deceased next door neighbor's niece who lives in Cali is an uber zealous JW.
Whenever she comes home for a visit, she makes a point of "encouraging" me to get back to the meetings.
Well, this time when she came for her aunt's funeral, she just gave me a hug and said nothing about JW stuff.
I was shocked-ed!
Sylvia
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flipper
UNDERCOVER- Good thread bro. I have 8 JW nieces and nephews ( including my 3 adult children in that number ) all children of me and my 3 JW sibling. These 8 are aged 21 through 34. Out of the 8 - 4 for sure have exited the organization by fading and no longer attend meetings. The latest to stop , my 30 yr. old nephew who stopped attending a year ago, has made HIS stand against his local elders snooping on him by moving 30 minutes away to a whole different area apparently covered by a different circuit ! Smart young man.
So 50 % of my children and siblings kids have stopped. I truly believe as you stated by seeing more and more unfulfilled promises by the JW cult not coming true - it will kick into gear some of these people's authentic reasoning powers and they will snap out of the cult mind control. Not ALL of them, but a decent number of them to cause the WT society to sweat bullets in time
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cantleave
Wobble -old cards get archived by the congregation secretary. They are not destroyed because the publisher has agreed in writing that the ifo on them can be kept.
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zarco
Interesting thread. We were witnesses for a long time and when we think back over our life as witnesses it is shocking to count the number of faders. We have been away for 13 months. For a few months we attended meetings sporadically and did some fake Saturday service. For about 8 months we have not been to any meetings. Interestingly, we have not had any shepherding calls (unless you count Open Mind's visit as a shepherding call).
A few friends invite us to do things. And with a couple of families that we care about we have associated with them at times. Both of the families have elder husbands and still no shepherding calls.
The only almost shepherding calls where when the CO was visiting and two times the service car group came over to say hi and to deliver the KMs. We said hi and thanks for the KMs. I guess I need to find out when the next CO visit is because I am sure the service group routine will start anew. One of the group (elder) said he wanted to schedule a shepherding call and I told him to come to my office anytime. He has not called again or stopped by my office.
zarco