Doublelife, I'm sorry your mom is saying such hurtful things to you. Moms sure do have a way of laying the guilt on thick, don't they? My mom does the same exact thing. She tells me that her heart is broken and that she cries all the time because of me.
You can do research with your mom, you can try to convince her of the correctness of your position. Those things are fine. But you'll want to be sure to set boundaries. Let your mom know that you love her unconditionally, but that you can't be held accountable for her happiness.
I wish you the best.