Dissed,
I have tried to find this movie on Pay per view and On Demand, I don't think I have the Sundance channel, but I am going to rent this movie and watch it. I have not had the "I don't believe in you anymore" conversation with God yet, I am still very confused. I have been praying (though I am not sure who to pray to), asking for some guidance, begging for some sort of sign to tell me what I should be doing. I just keep coming back to this site.
I think I believe that there is a creator, and God, though I am not sure of what kind of character he or she posesses. It just doesn't seem like, if God grants us free will, and he wants us to serve Him, it should be this hard to distinguish what it is that He wants for us. I am so lost! I just know that I was never "happy" in the Org. At the meetings, we hear what a happy people God's people are. I never experienced this before, as a matter of fact, most of the JWs I know have moderate to severe depression problems, myself included. The cognitive dissonance that these doubts have brought about, has caused me to act very self destructively. I am trying to straighten myself out now, because I was headed for an early grave. Much of my life has already been wasted,I don't want it to end without accomplishing something great, or at least having true happiness even if only for a moment.
Sorry all, I think I strayed from the thread. I am new here and I want to share so much, maybe too much for all of your comfort!