Dating a JW :-( (page 2)

OUTLAW

FORGET the JW..

Kiss the Monkey..

Plan on Lots of Children..

.......................... ...OUTLAW

The JW religon is not just meetings it is a way of life. There are 2 meetings each week plus field service. There is one evening of study, I mean the whole evening. There is also meeting preparation on top of this.

She will be counseled by elders about any relationship with a "worldly" boy and may be told she is being disloyal to god because she is pursuing a relationship outside the organisation.

Also remember that most things that would be considered private matters by most couples can be discussed and picked over by elders within the congregation. Your life together is the subject of public scrutiny.

There are also elements of the JW doctrine that will also impact on your life together. No xmas, no birthdays, no easter, no Mother's Day, no Valentines day, issues over every non JW wedding, non JW Funeral, Christening, Non JW party. Censoring of films, books, entertainment, Music and art. Smoking, buying a lottery ticket, drinking and some other passtimes are frowned on and forbidden. Her life is one of constant sacrifices and yours will reflect this. How will your parents feel about your girlfriends constant shunning of family celebrations, are you prepared to celebrate on your own?

Also her ambition will be to convert you, that may be her main interest in you.

Anyone dating a witness needs to appreciate that in the main they will be the one to make all the compromises. This religon allows it's members no freedom to bow to the wishes of others. Are you prepared to live your life in the shadow of this religon?

undercover

...attempting to show her how wrong her religion is.

Odds are that this won't work. In a cult, or any belief system, one cannot be easily convinced that what they believe is wrong. All the evidence in the world will be useless if they believe that they are in the true religion.

It's not until one starts to doubt and question on their own do they start to seriously look at the evidences.

But let's say on the offchance that you're able to convince her that JWs are not the one true religion.

If you break her faith and win her love, you will be hated by her family (providing they're all JWs). They will be convinced that you led her away from the true faith. And if you were to really open her eyes to the point that she got disfellowshipped or she disassociated herself, then her family will be forced to shun her..and she may resent you for ruining her relationship with her family. If you force the issue you will be in a pretty much no win situation.

Another scenerio is that if you did free her, you may not get the girl you thought you were getting. Once she's free of the personality that was forced on her through the JW cult, the new girl who is free and thinks for herself may not be the person you wanted.

You're jsut better off not getting involved with someone in the JWs. It's just bad news all around.

goldensky

I must agree with Nugget that my husband made all the compromises...

under the radar

Hi Danny,

The problem is that she may be willing to "break the rules" now in order to date you, and may even seem willing to leave the Truth™ to be with you, BUT there is at least an even chance that later she will want or be pressured by family or others to "come back." There would be unrelenting coercion and emotional blackmail to convince you to join her. If you don't, the marriage (and she can't be with you openly unless you do get married) will be under enormous stress. And if there happens to be children involved by that time, multiply that by at least two.

Being raised a Witness seeps down into one's soul, and it's extremely difficult to completely extricate oneself from that cult mentality. Many "go astray" for awhile, but family pressure or guilt feelings eventually drive a certain percentage of them to return to what they view as "the Truth." That could easily leave you "holding the bag."

Be gentle, be kind, but be firm and RUN from this situation as if your life depended on it. Your long term happiness DOES.

Just my two cents worth,

Radar

MIADanny

Yeah I think what worked at first is that she was not going to meetings that much. It has become more of a issue now becuase she has been becoming much more involved and trying to get baptised soon. She even mentioned stopping any sex until getting married which became a huge red flag for me. I think I may try approaching her a non-confrontation way and asking some though provaking questions. If she will have a not open mind with me I try and make it work if not I will have to let her go.

FYI: I recently was invited to my first party with some members of her hall. I will tell you that the younger JW crowd I met are much less conservative than I thought they would be...lol They a even had drinking game at their party.

sir82

At some point, sooner or later, she will feel she has to choose between her religion and you.

Guaranteed.

Even if you "win", the first traumatic experience in her life may very well lead her right back, or at the very very least feel extreme resentment toward you for "leading her astray".

It's pretty much a no-win situation.

leavingwt

FYI: I recently was invited to my first party with some members of her hall. I will tell you that the younger JW crowd I met are much less conservative than I thought they would be...lol They a even had drinking game at their party.

If you have a child one day, and that precious littel girl or boy needs a lifesaving transfusion of red blood cells or plasma, your JW wife will tell the doctor not to give it.

When that child grows up, gets baptized as a JW as a child, and then later decides to leave the JWs, that child will lose his mother.

The Finger

If she was a good witness she wouldn't be dating a worldly person

shamus100

Come on... Do you all have to be so radical? I've been married for 22 years, 21 of which I was a staunch witness whereas he just wasn't religious at all but let me do my own thing, and our marriage has been quite enjoyable so far.

Here's an enjoyable image for your children to view at the Kingdumb hall. Just one of many. Oh, but Jehovahs Witnesses are not at all radical. We should all be just a little more understanding, no?

Dating a JW :-(