Jehovah's Witnesses are a sad lot

by garyneal 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    My wife is a baptized publisher and I guess everything is going okay for the moment. I believe that slowly the love bombing is beginning to wane now that she is in. Her mother, of course, is still sending 'encouragement' now that she is dedicating her life to Jehovah the organization.

    But, of course, the tests are coming forward and my wife is trying to 'endure to the end.'

    All my daughter seems to talk about is her birthday party coming up. Of course, my wife will not be attending but she cannot offer much of a good explanation right now. She just says, "Even though I cannot come, does not mean I don't love you." I mean, the party is at Chuck-E-Cheese's and only the 'worldly' people are going. Go, hang out, but don't sing the Happy Birthday song or eat any cake. But she cannot stumble in front of Jehovah her peers now. So she won't go.

    I read her Job 1:4 in the Living Translation of the Bible, sure enough it says birthday. Her translation says own day. But the WTS says that birthdays displease Jehovah the Society's elders.

    So I am at church in the playground with my daughter after the service where they announce that people can become baptized on Easter Sunday coming up. My daughter, with the word bapt-ti-tize still in her mind inquires about it and I tell her that one day she may decide on what she wants but it is not necessary now. Daddy got baptized in a church and mommy did it in a Kingdom Hall. If you get baptized in a Kingdom Hall like mommy, they will not let you come to church with me anymore and that is why mommy does not come with us. But whatever you do, I will love you all the same.

    We spoke of her upcoming birthday and I asked her who she wanted to invite. A neighbor's kid, some kids in her classroom, maybe some kids in church (though she still does not know them that well so I doubt it), and one child who was on her soccer team and goes to mommy's kingdom hall. But I am afraid he can't go. Why? Because people who go to the Kingdom Hall can't have birthday parties. Why? Because they are told not to go by the people at the Kingdom Hall. She's very inquisitive.

    I don't see how Jehovah's Witnesses put up with it. Can't allow children to celebrate any holidays while they watch other kids celebrating. No birthdays, either. My wife and sister in law play it down like it is no big thing and that they get stuff all year round (yeah right). In fact, tax time is their 'Christmas time.' Then there is the lack of freedom from attending any church of your choice and their walking on eggshells when it comes to weddings and funerals being conducted at a church.

    Then there are those happless parents who have to choose to let their children die by refusing them a blood transfusion. Yeah, sure, they play videos full of propaganda on how 'bloodless' therapies are superior. One question though, if part of the whole 'network of tubes' that take blood out and then put it back in your body as needed are allowed then how is this different than an autologous blood transfusion (which is not allowed)? I'm talking about where in the video they show blood coming out of the patient's body and going into a bag before going back in, not blood circulating around outside the body. This was shown in that blood propaganda video.

    Right now, my wife is pretty much doing the whole field serve-us thing on her terms. Even telling the people in her cong, "Oh I can't do it this Saturday and/or Sunday because of (fill in the blank reason)." Granted, most of her reasons are legitimate to me and she still makes it to field serve-us many times. However, I wonder how long the people in her cong will allow this before they begin encouraging pressuring her to put in more time? Even at the expense of being at my daughter's swim classes or other activities we try to plan for on Saturday's.

    I just try to assure her that things happen and things come up and that Jehovah understands. Does the congregation understand? If not, then Jehovah's Witnesses are indeed a very sad lot. No freedom to worship God in the best way they can given their individual circumstances. Telling them what jobs they can or cannot take. Disallowing them from throwing birthday parties for their children. Forcing them to make lame excuses to their kids should their unbelieving spouses decide to throw the parties. Finally, in extreme cases, forcing them to feel like they have to choose between saving a child's life or displeasing Jehovah the elder's of the hospital liason committee.

    That's not counting the endless crazy set of doctrines that every witness must accept without question. The inability for them to trust their concious or their own instincts on matters. The mindless WT studies where the answers are always in the paragraphs and adding too much of one's own thoughts are discouraged. Children forced to sit through two hours or more of boring meetings. Monotonous kingdom maladies that make even the old hymns at a sleepy baptist church seem lively. Not to mention all the legalism and meddling. I guess if I were a Jehovah's Witness, I'd be a drinking man as beer might be my only escape. That and paxil.

    What a sad sad lot.

  • yknot
    yknot

    It is our only traditions..... it is what we think is 'normal'.

    As for the all year round gifts/stuff........ many of us born-in/raised do buy all year round! We just started allowing my children t0 hanging out with 'worldly' kids and none of them have anywhere near the amount of toys/stuff as all the KH kids(mine included) do.

    Also since you are a UBM she has a 'get-out of jail free' card...... all she has to do is assert you are asserting your headship.... like Saturday Swim lessons.

    I think she will lose some of her zeal once the newness wears off......... in fact you can tell her some of the 'classic' FS tricks like leaving a WT/Awake on the dashboard of yall's parked car...... or leaving a tract in the ladies bathroom....

  • garyneal
    garyneal
    I think she will lose some of her zeal once the newness wears off......... in fact you can tell her some of the 'classic' FS tricks like leaving a WT/Awake on the dashboard of yall's parked car...... or leaving a tract in the ladies bathroom....

    I've already suggested to her that she can count an hour or two leaving tracts in the laundromats in our apartment complex. I don't think she liked me suggesting this.

  • dissed
    dissed

    Birthdays are not celebrated only because the GB says its wrong.

    Its a loyalty test, that's all. And your wife is trying to show how loyal she is to the GB. Remember, its by obedience to the GB, that they, the JW's can survive the end.

    Sure, she has become very selfish in not supporting your daughter, but the pressure to conform and ignore the family is very strong.

    They are a sad lot, no?

  • yknot
    yknot

    I like that idea!

    Make sure to pick them all up and write JWN's addy on them!

    Remember to 'distract' her often.......

    Keep suggesting you will attend a meeting with her if she attends with you.

    Wear her down slowly through repetition

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    They won't pressure her to put in more time, personally. She's a woman and therefore has no potential for reaching out. The pressure will be put on her from the platform in the constant "you aren't doing enough" talks at the Service Meeting, but not personally. There's no position they can 'groom' her for.

    You're in good shape. Hopefully this is just a phase and she can start her fade sooner rather than later, while your kid still has a chance to grow up normal.

  • garyneal
    garyneal
    Keep suggesting you will attend a meeting with her if she attends with you.

    I'll try but this one is tough sledding with her. Her allegiance to the GB is strong on this one.

  • Krettnawe
    Krettnawe

    I she still a good wife and mother?

    Leave her be, and let her make her own decisions.

    Perhaps the JW are just what she needs at this time.

    They were there when I needed them, but eventually I outgrew them and moved on.

    Having a non-JW husband will give her ways out of alot of stuff eventually.

    But, make no mistake about it, the more you discourage her, the more some will be telling her to be expecting this persecution, and this persecution comes from.....

    Satan....

  • yknot
    yknot

    That is okay..... just remind her it is only an invitation.

    Mad has a great point....... she only has a limited value without you attending.

    Admittedly I will drag my husband on occassion........to remind the Elders of my 'potential' value to the congregation. (see the carrot)

    Discern this period of lovebombing, for it won't be forever.......

  • garyneal
    garyneal
    Leave her be, and let her make her own decisions.

    I've already told her she can do what she wants so long as she respects my wishes.

    But, make no mistake about it, the more you discourage her, the more some will be telling her to be expecting this persecution, and this persecution comes from.....

    That's why I don't even present facts anymore. When the cult personality comes out, I change the subject now. I try to get her as much in her authentic personality as I can.

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