It is a deliberate strategy to make JWs stand out. The Jews had fringed garments that made them stand out from the world around them and the GB tries to do something similar with JWs.
I cannot tell you how sad it made me to keep rejecting party invites that my son and daughter received. My son's question was always "Why can't I go?" I would have to say that the reason was that birthdays made Jehovah sad and we want to make God happy. He couldn't see why God had to be made happy at his expense. It isn't just the party it is the shared association and the post party buzz at school. It distances children from their peers and encourages school friends to shun them. The same is true of any celebration that JWs are excluded from.
Yes my children did get gifts all year round but if a worldly person doesn't understand the reason for the gift giving they can't share in the experience. So again the children are isolated.
JWs occupy a very narrow social world in which everything has to be modest, the size of any party cannot be ostentatious, even if you have the money to spend you cannot be seen to be over generous. People mustn't be glorified in any way so big anniversary and wedding celebrations are discouraged as showy displays. Big congregation dos have been clamped down on as setting the wrong example and putting too much focus on leisure pursuits. There is actually very little a JW can do to enjoy themselves that the GB hasn't condemned or restricted. Even at a permitted gathering JWs also have to watch their own behaviour to ensure they do nothing that may stumble others.
It is good that your child has the opportunity to enjoy her childhood. It is also good that you have someone to celebrate with. It may be that your wife will learn more from the positive experiences you share with your daughter than any talks about doctrine. There will always be a contrast between your joy and JW isolation. The congregation can be a cold hard place when all you are left with is the work and your own imperfection.
