Here's my story! (Long one!)

by its_me! 35 Replies latest jw friends

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  nugget

  Welcome to the board its me. It is difficult, we are told all our lives that this is the truth and the only path to salvation. We are told that any failures are our own. You have taken the first step out of the organisation, the trick is to keep walking. Read the books suggested they will help you see what it is you are really leaving behind and that you do not have to feel a guilt or remorse about your decision.

  Your past has been a hard one but your future is full of possibilities if you embrace them. I look forward to reading your posts on the boad.
• 

  The Oracle

  Hi its me,

  I read you whole post carefully too.

  My advice - keep running and don't look back. The JW cult is not for you - for your own mental and physical well being PLEASE stay away!

  I left mentally about five years ago, and have been totally gone for a couple years. I can honestly say I have never been happier my entire life.

  In fact I thought I was a happy person when I was in the religion and was widely known as such, but now I realize that I was not really experiencing true happiness.

  After achieving real freedom I have experienced the deepest and most satisfying happiness imaginable.

  I sincerely hope you will find this deep and satisfying happiness as well. You have a wonderful chance of doing so if you stay away from the JW religion/cult.

  Best wishes to you!

  The Oracle
• 

  garyneal

  marking for later
• 

  RosePetal

  Hi its me welcome to the board you have had to tell a difficult an painful story. Abused people lose self esteem and confidence in themselves when it starts in childhood and carries on into adulthood it is hard to break the pattern. I know from experience this to be true to keep putting yourself down and feeling you deserve to be treated badly. To top that being brought up in a cult that piles on the guilt of never being good enough.

  Now you can break free and stop believing that lie. Allow yourself to be loved. allow yourself to fail we all do we are human. I am starting to think this way and I am already so much happier. There has been some great advice on the board so far

  I wish you a brighter happier future

  RosePetal
• 

  ExJwsHaveNotGotAnOrganization

  Sorry to hear you are upset. If something is premeditated, to certain degree, then that might be why they disfellowshipped. Otherwise, they could have announced it as being reproved, because people knew.

  Some are not associated with outside of meetings or service, if they are doing something wrong. This is called marking. Otherwise, they should be more involved with you.

  Try and come back to the meetings, and pray to God. God forgives. Serving Him would help you. People in Jehovah's Witnesses have imperfections.

  Agape
• 

  doublelife

  Welcome, its_me!. Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope you get to the point where you feel whole and happy also. And definitely read the books OTWO suggested. I haven't read Crisis of Conscience but Combatting Cult Mind Control was very helpful for me.
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  cantleave

  How will serving an organisation help anyone? Coming back to meetings is the last thing someone needs when they have been abused by a cult and it's ill informed and completely untrained leaders. ExJwsetc please read up about this organisation, it's true history, the way it controls people and how it has continuously changed its teachings as its prophecies have gone unfulfilled. An organisation have which incidentally I supported for 4 decades and was once an elder in.
• 

  skywho

  your a stronger person for all that you have lived throw. I wish life could be simple. I wish i could say the hard part is over. i hope you can fade under the radar, without prying questions from family regarding your faith.(its been rough over here)

  you wrote this during the meeting time ha ha
• 

  dogisgod

  Welcome.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Thanx for sharing your story.

  Your abuse came first from an organization that basically despises women. Then from a father who was so trained. Then from a husband, and then another.

  Wow.

  I hope you seek a bit of counseling - you seem like a moth to flames by the situations in which you keep finding yourself.

  OTWO has suggested the same books I would. I would suggest that beyond that you may wish to read everything in sight that has nothing to do with religion. Your horizons have been narrowed by a high-control religion. Part of that healing will come from exposure to differing opinion and ideas. Just read, read, read.

  You will likely go thru stages of 'grief', much like those experienced when you have lost a member of your family. This will take some time. Your journey has just begun. Give yourself time before immersing yourself in anything else religious. In time you will understand how to set your own direction in life - something that we were never taught as Jw's.

  Everyone deals with the reality of understanding the 'truth about the TRUTH' a bit differently. Be prepared to deal with the total cut-off that will come as others become aware that you are not coming back. That part was devastating to me. I lost some family and tons of people that I thought were my friends - but of course they were not really.

  This forum, and perhaps others like it, has been a lifesaver for many of us. There is really a sigh of relief when one realizes that many others have experienced similar problems and came away whole. Many of us felt like we were alone in the world until we found this out.

  You will heal. You will grow. You will look back at the pain that exit caused with less trepidation as time passes. Time really does heal all wounds.

  Welcome to the forum.

  Peace/Namaste

  Jeff