Here's my story! (Long one!)

by its_me! 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  babygirl30

  Welcome, welcome, welcome!! Such a heart-wrenching story you shared, but its good to get it OUT there, isn't it?

  Sadly, I FEEL all that you said. I was raised in an emotionally abusive household, and so when I grew up, I continued to choose men to 'date' that were abusive just as my father was (even though I swore I never would). Unforunately, accepting abuse is a learned behavior - and I had it so deeply ingrained in ME that I didn't recognize it till it was too late. I actually almost married a JW man who was physically abusive, and thank God I ended that before it was too late...but I also used that situation as a motivation to mentally get myeslf together, and therapy has helped! The elders, well, your situation is like SO MANY other you will read or hear about...it's not about helping the flock, it's moreso about beating them down and disposing of them - that seems to be much easier then readjusting someone. Learned it, went through it, and was DF'd just like you with that accusation that I was not 'humble' nor repentant (mind you I had visible bruises on my body from that JW man's assault AND I had court documents protecting me from him which I brought to show the elders). IT's painful to be told you don't matter when you're at your lowest point and really NEED a positive word or action - isn't it?

  I wish you the BEST and hope that you keep reading and keep posting. You will hear from a LOT of nice and encouraging people here!!!
• 

  Heartbreaker

  Thank you for taking the time to type that, it helps us all to get a feel of who everyone is, and where our support is needed most! Its hardly ever an easy thing to do, thanks for being brave and open.
• 

  palmtree67

  Awww, it's me.....we share many commonalities.

  Thanks for sharing your story, in many ways it is mine, too.

  I wish you happiness, it WILL come, just be patient.

  palm
• 

  snowbird

  (((((((It's_Me)))))))

  Too choked up for further comment.

  Sylvia
• 

  moshe

  Elders can be really cruel- and nosey too and in asking for personal details it makes them out to be porno voyeurs. Good luck, help is on the way for you, since you found the JW-net website.
• 

  dinah

  Its me. I've been in a variation of your story. Thanks for writing about it. I know it was hard to do.
• 

  its_me!

  Hello all, It was hard for me to write about it. I feel guilty just recalling my own sins. I know that I made the wrong decisions in a lot of the things I did, but I just don't feel that the way I was treated was the way God would want it to be. There is much more to the story, but it is just so much to try to sit down and write all at one time. I appreciate everyone's advice, and kind words. And I want you all to know, the only reason I committed adultery was because I thought that it was the only way out for me. I wasn't thinking clearly, I was severely depressed. I do not continue to act that way. I have no intention of ever going back to the Kingdom Hall at this point. I am not going to jump into any other religion either. I am going to take some time and try to figure out who I am, since I am in my late twenties, and I still don't know. I will definitely read Crisis of Conscience, and the other ones mentioned, I can't wait! I just have to get enough money together to buy them! (Economy sucks!) And, on a good note, I am in school right now, working on an Associates Degree at this point! Thank you all so much once again! You have given me great advice, and the kind words touch my heart, Thank you so much for being so understanding! I have sent private messages to several of you!
• 

  life is to short

  Welcome

  It is so nice to hear you are in school. You are also young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Good for you to learn that this is not God's religion so young.

  I just left myself last year, it has been hard to learn I was lied to and believed it all, I still feel so stupid for not see what a cult it was.

  I am hopping it get better, I still have my really bad days.

  Thanks for sharing your story.

  LITS
• 

  GLTirebiter

  So, you were disfellowshipped because they spread gossip? You came showing repentance, and were punished because of others' loose talk? Take heart, we know who the real sinners are in that story!

  You've been through a lot, and have shown a lot a character just to get this far. I'm glad the abuse has stopped for the last year and a half, but please consider going to counseling with your husband. You really need to get that out of your marriage, all the way down to its roots, so it won't happen again some years down the road. Otherwise another stressful event could start it all over again. You don't want to live your life under that cloud.

  Thank you for sharing your story. It was hard to read, and I'm sure it was hard to tell it, too. Keep up the healing!
• 

  etna

  Hi its_me. Your story is similar to some extent as my wife now. We have been married a year and she was dfs and got re-instated, but no-one talks to her. She has decided not to go back anymore(she mainly got re-instated so her kids and mine don't shun her). I will not go back, read crisis of conscience and in search of christian freedom. Ray Franz is just like us and the way he writes you can relate to it. And by the way no-one should ever hit a woman, NO-ONE. I really hope you are ok and hope evrything works out for you.

  Etna