I have a touchy situation...could use some advice

tenyearsafter

I just got an e-mail from my 80 year old mother asking my wife and I to join her for the Memorial this year. I really don't want to go, but I am also trying to maintain some degree of a relationship with her. She is breaking the "rules" by not shunning me, but I don't know how she will react if I reject her invitation. She is not in great health, so I would rather not cause a split with her at this late stage of the game. My wife has never been a JW and dislikes the Memorial (she likens it to sitting through a tax seminar), but she would go just to keep the peace.

My question is, should I do what "keeps the peace" with my Mom or do I draw the line and risk a split in our relationship?

poopsiecakes

If I were you I would go, it's no skin off your nose and your wife doesn't seem to have an issue (love the tax seminar comparison) and your mum would be thrilled. Taking a stand to her would break her heart and it's not like you have to do anything else.

truthseekeriam

It's only an hour..I say make the mom happy and keep the peace. Now if she comes back with the special talk invitation just make plans in advance and tell her you already have plans for that weekend.

Sometimes when you give a little they try for more.

White Dove

At the beginning of realizing that the JW religion was not for me, I was sick of meetings and had stopped going.

When I visited my 83 and 87 year old grandparents, they really wanted me to go to the meeting with them.

Gramma ended up staying home for health reasons, but I knew that I wouldn't have my grampa around much longer.

I went but hated it the whole time, although when I looked over at him, he was such a happy guy, so happy that I was there with him.

My grampa has since died and now, thinking back, it was such a little thing to give him in his old age, and it made my gramma happy, too.

I don't regret spending one last meeting with my grampa. Shoot, it could have been any kind of activity, but they loved meetings best, so I gave them that last little gift.

For me, it would have been selfish not to do that one little thing with them before they died. Gramma is soon to go as she is now 88.

I view it as one last little sacrifice for two people who have done so much for me.

I have a rule: Never upset the super elderly. It's mean when it's so late in their lives. Nothing good is accomplished by upsetting the very old. It's bad karma.

This is only my opinion and the way I would handle it. You know your circumstances better than I do, so do what your gut tells you to do.

Guts never lie.

OUTLAW

I`ve never understood the point of going to something,you don`t like..

Why should someone who says they care about you,want you to suffer through it..

I don`t care how old they are..

It`s selfish and controling ..

..................... ...OUTLAW

shamus100

I know it's nice to be nice to the super old... but...

It is a cult.

I wouldn't go - just make up an excuse; cat needs to be licked clean that night or it'll get hairballs... sorry. Only make up a better excuse - got plans already and get drunk.

White Dove

At 80, that's awfully old to be taking a new stand on something so near and dear to her heart. I stand by what I wrote: It's such a little thing that means so much. Good karma there.

Wait, I just re-read the post. It sounds like she already knows and has known for a while that you are no longer a JW.

If that's the case, do what you want with no regrets. She ought to know by now that you are OUT.

tenyearsafter

Thanks everybody...I appreciate the insights. I will talk to my wife and see what makes sense.

...though I like the monkey's idea about licking the cat clean and getting drunk! LOL

poopsiecakes

Since I live in a different city from my mom, it's a totally different situation - she and I only talk maybe once a year and never at Memorial time so I haven't had the living nearby situation to deal with. I honestly think that if she asked me to go with her, I'd go. I love her and I know she loves me, she's just spent over 60 years in a cult - it's not her fault and she's not going to change at this point so I wouldn't be able to say no to something that means so little to me and means the world to her.

shamus100

Watch yourself for hairballs - sometimes I start yacking them up at dinner parties. E-m-b-e-r-a-s-s-i-n-g!!!!

I have a touchy situation...could use some advice

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